Pxrn | 5 Gems

Reading Time: 11 min read

Porn: 5 Gems No. 34 (2026) features songs by Alex Cameron, Greyson Chance, Nessa Barrett, System Of A Down, and Tove Lo.

“It’s a matter of time, I’ve been losing my mind, I’m still watching jock PORN.” 👀 Greyson Chance said what he said, NO CAP! So did System Of A Down for that matter, more than 20 years earlier: “It’s a violent PORNOGRAPHY, choking chicks and sodomy / The kinda shit you get on your TV.” 😳 Hard to top that! Still, Australian singer-songwriter Alex Cameron got spiritual with the P-O-R-N… sort of: “Jesus never had no PORNO / Jesus never had cocaine / Jesus never had Ibiza / He never even went to Spain.” PORN is the name of the game on Porn: 5 Gems No. 34 (2026). Are these songs safe for work? No, of course not, but they aren’t necessarily pornographic as you might expect. Joining Greyson, SOAD, and Alex on this list are Nessa Barrett and Tove Lo. So, without further ado, let’s get into these non-pornographic porn-referencing songs, shall we?!

~ Table of Contents ~

1. Greyson Chance, “JOCK PORN”

2. Alex Cameron, “Jesus Never Had No Porno”

3. Nessa Barrett, “PORNSTAR”

4. Tove Lo, “Bikini Porn”

5. System Of A Down, “Violent Pornography”

5 Gems (2026)

1. Greyson Chance, “JOCK PORN”

BOYSTOWN → GCM → 2026

“Support gay music stream JOCK PORN with one hand.”Ooh-wee! Say less! Pop singer-songwriter Greyson Chance said what he said, and it’s nothing short of hot, hot, hot! The mature, lean, but incredibly handsome, talented, out-and-proud Greyson has ushered in an even more mature era with “JOCK PORN”. Sex-positivity is turnt up, while the shirt is off, via IG as well as the enticing, athletic cover art. “JOCK PORN” was written and produced by Chance and Jason Reeves.

“The safety’s off, be careful with the trigger / My body is a maze, an elegant figure for you.” Damn, Greyson! “JOCK PORN” commences with a bang, and the banging doesn’t stop there. As expected, the songwriting is bold, sexual, and unapologetic. Face it, if the word porn is in the song title, how could the song not be wild?! Even with its titillating moments, the lyrics are poetically and thoughtfully written. There are numerous highlights, including the excerpt from the first verse. “What is it to be masculine? What is it to be feminine? I don’t know,” Chance asks in the same verse. He has more questions as well: “… Crawling onto my land / Does that make you a criminal? I kinda like it / Fuck, fuck, yeah.” Holy, rather, unholy fuck! In the second verse, things get freakier, involving “rough hands” and presumably dirty dancing. “Thinking how my daddy might cry,” he sings, “If he knew what we were fucking into, baby…” Wow! The centerpiece is the chorus, which is bold but also intriguing, well-rounded songwriting:

“So be my rocket, be my sun, be my blatant kingdom come

Be my hot-blooded hunk, I ain’t a Marxist with my love

But if I take it, then maybe I am

I’ve been reading old books with my head in the sand

It’s a matter of time, I’ve been losing my mind, I’m still watching jock porn.”

Again, Greyson Chance said what he said. Throughout “JOCK PORN”, he sings beautifully and sincerely. The sound of the record is an alternative brand of pop – distinct, unusual, and incredibly captivating. With such bold lyrics, you might expect a dynamic, over-the-top backdrop. Instead, you get more stripped, minimal accompaniment that packs a significant punch. An art-pop-ish record with a bold title, thought-provoking lyrics, and a heaping dose of eye candy? That’s a winner in my book every damn day of the year!

Appears in 🔻:

Striking Bops from July 2026

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2. Alex Cameron, “Jesus Never Had No Porno”

Late to Set → Alex Cameron → 2026

“Jesus never had no porno / Jesus never had cocaine / Jesus never had Ibiza / He never even went to Spain.” Noted. “Jesus Never Had No Porno” – what an eyebrow-raising song title, Alex Cameron 👀! Not only is the Australian singer-songwriter’s title eyebrow-raising, but the song itself is too 👀. “Jesus Never Had No Porno” is the fifth track from Cameron’s 2026 album, Late to Set. He, Maxim Ludwig, and Mark Perkins composed the song. Ludwig, Perkins, and Zach Dawes produced it.

What makes “Jesus Never Had No Porno” stand out most is the songwriting. Alex Cameron sings superbly – he possesses a beautiful instrument. The melodies are melodious – tuneful. The accompaniment, led primarily by electric guitar early on, is also a win. As the record progresses, the instrumentation and sounds expand (more on that instrumental outro, later). But still, the theme and lyrics take the cake. The excerpted lyrics from the first verse speak volumes. It doesn’t stop as the verse continues, where “Jesus never had no Big Mac / He had no coital shame…” Coital shame, huh? Now that’s a clever lyric right there! The second verse is penned similarly, with Jesus having no doctor, COVID-19, not voting for Obama, etc. It’s an intriguing blend of politics, society, and spirituality. Beyond the verses, the choruses stand out, varied each time. In the second chorus, Cameron asserts:

“But every time He sang, the people gathered ‘round

From Sodom to L.A. to hear that funky sound

So when’s he gonna twist again?”

Wow. In the bridge, Alex asks, “Where is Jesus?” He answers, “He just dog up and left.” Following the bridge, there is an utterly sublime, extended instrumental outro. There is piano, organ, percussion, bass, saxophone, more electric guitar… plenty of ear candy. All told, Alex Cameron gives us six entertaining minutes of music with “Jesus Never Had No Porno”. The songwriting is the crowning achievement, even if it’s difficult to know exactly what to make of it. But the music is top-notch, too!

Appears in 🔻:

Alex Cameron, Jesus Never Had No Porno: Wacky Wednesday No. 36 (2026)

~ Table of Contents ~

3. Nessa Barrett, “PORNSTAR”

AFTERCARE → Warner → 2024

“I wanna know what you’d do to me / I wanna put you on the tape.” Damn, Nessa Barrett! There is an emphasis on D-O as in F-U-C-K! The sex-positivity is lit on “PORNSTAR”, the second track from her 2024 album, AFTERCARE. Barrett wants her partner to perform fiercely, to say the least. Characterizing them as a star, in the pre-chorus, she asserts, “Fuck me all night /… Show me who you are.” Yes, the sex is ‘kind of a big deal’ but Nessa hints at desiring more than physical pleasure. Still, when the chorus emphasizes a prolonged pronunciation of pornstar, the sexual desire is undeniable. Barrett, Jackson Lee Morgan, CJ Baran, Arthur Besna, and Madi Yanofsky penned “PORNSTAR.” Baran and Besna produced.

The songwriting isn’t deep – an understatement. In the second verse, Barrett sings, “I wanna hear you talking dirty / I wanna see it on your face / I wanna feel you put the work in / I wanna watch you entertain.” Sounds like moaning and an intense O-face to me. Audio and visuals are key! Even as invested as Barrett is regarding desire and intimacy, she sings coolly, barely breaking a sweat. Fittingly, Baran and Besna’s production encourages a highly sensual experience. The instrumental, like Barrett’s vocals, is coolly energetic. The rhythmic bass line is one of the best instrumental features. There have been far more risqué sex songs than “PORNSTAR”, but Barrett gets her point across ‘loud and clear.’

Appears in 🔻:

~ Table of Contents ~

4. Tove Lo, “Bikini Porn”

Sunshine Kitty → Universal Music → 2020

“Uh-uh, I’m on bikini porn / Uh-uh, layin’ out in the sun / Oh, I got those marks on my body…” Tove Lo has a knack for naughty alternative pop music – understatement. “Bikini Porn” is a naughty, certified bop from the Swedish standout. What makes “Bikini Porn” pretty sweet is the fact that she serves up a balance of being carefree and in a happy place with a risqué edge. The chorus is a prime example of the jubilation she exhibits, with some sexual references thrown in, of course:

“All I do is drink champagne all day, all day, all day

And I dance around my room naked, oh yeah, naked

Skinny dippin’ in the pool with me, with me, with me

Take a day from your life all day, one day, today.”

Sure, she ‘gets down and dirty,’ but at the same time, the last line is all about enjoying life without limitations. That’s the bigger point, as opposed to bikini porn itself, even though one has to shake their head when she sings, “Uh-uh, I’m on bikini porn / Uh-uh, now my bikini’s gone.” Besides the edgy lyrics, another selling point is the production (A Strut, Jack & Coke, and FINNEAS). The record begins minimally but evolves to include pads, synths, and some cool vocal effects. Be like Tove Lo: be happy, enjoy life without limitations, and take the bikini off!

Appears in 🔻:

11 Summery Songs Loosely Associated with The Beach (2020)

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5. System Of A Down, “Violent Pornography”

Mezmerize → Sony Music Entertainment → 2005

“Everybody, everybody, everybody livin’ now / Everybody, everybody, everybody fucks / Everybody, everybody, everybody livin’ now / Everybody, everybody, everybody sucks.”Woo! And thus begins the unforgettable System Of A Down record, “Violent Pornography” (There is an instrumental intro before the CHAOS is unleashed 😜). Serj Tankian and Daron Malakian commence things with a boisterous, explicit, and rhythmic bang. “Violent Pornography” is the seventh track from the double-platinum Mezmerize, the first of two SOAD albums released in 2005. Following the Mezmerize/Hypnotize cycle, the Armenian American Grammy-winning alternative metal band released no more albums, sadly 😢. Malakian and Tankian composed the gold-certified single. Malakian and Rick Rubin produced it.

“Violent Pornography” is a T-R-I-P, PERIODT! That goes without saying. The music is thrilling, with the jagged bass and guitars, and pummeling drums. The vocals, led by Serj Tankian, are spirited. The same can be said of the lyrics, which are wild and free, baby! Following the energetic verse (fucks, sucks, cries, dies, etc.), which returns with a few altered lyrics, Tankian takes the reins on the refrain. “It’s a non-stop disco, bet you it’s Nabisco / Betcha didn’t know, whoo-hoo.” Wow… Nabisco has a connection with porn? Yep 👀. The chorus is the crème de la crème. It’s the most melodic and smoothest part of the record. Even so, the lyrics aren’t the least bit innocent.

“It’s a violent pornography, choking chicks and sodomy

The kinda shit you get on your TV

It’s a violent pornography, choking chicks and sodomy

The kinda shit you get on your TV.”

Lord have mercy! That TV, particularly pay-per-view, is dangerous 😳! Putting a cap on things, in the outro, Daron says, “Can you say ‘Brainwashing’,” followed by Serj (“B-b-b-brainwashing”), and concluding with Daron, “It’s a non-stop disco.” So, is the incredibly exhilarating “Violent Pornography” about pornography primarily? Probably not. It’s hard to tell, precisely, but System Of A Down address a big corporation specifically (Nabisco), danger of media consumption (not just porn, necessarily), and becoming apathetic and comfortable with the state of things. They are accurate about a never-ending cycle.

Appears in 🔻: