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“The 17 Worst Songs of 2018” features some truly questionable music courtesy of Bella Thorne, Lil Xan, Kanye West, Lil Pump, and Noah Cyrus among others.

In the past, the popularity of the worst songs lists has far surpassed the best songs. Do people enjoy flops? Perhaps. This year, there are some doozies, yet arguably, some of the ‘worst’ aren’t necessarily unbearable. Folks, there may very well be a song that you actually like on this list that irks me. Without further ado, here are my 17 final picks for the worst songs of 2018. Musicians that make up the top-five of the worst songs of 2018 are Bella Thorne, Lil Xan (twice), Kanye West (twice), Lil Pump, and Noah Cyrus.

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1. Bella Thorne, “B*tch I’m Bella 
Thorne”

B*tch I’m Bella Thorne – Single • Filthy Fangs • 2018

“B*tch I’m Bella Thorne” is nothing short of a hot mess – grade A rubbish. Co-written with rapper MOD-Sun, it feels like Bella Thorne wants shock value more than anything else, evidenced by ample clumsy and cringe-worthy lyrics. She raps, which is highly, HIGHLY questionable in its itself. Give her credit for being chocked-full of attitude, coming over as sort of this bratty, feisty celeb. One has to wonder, is it all an act? Regardless, if winning the award for the worst song of 2018 is what Thorne desires, she’s won it hands down with this train wreck.

Bella Thorne, ‘B*tch I’m Bella Thorne’ | Track Review

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2. Lil Xan, “Wake Up”

TOTAL XANARCHY • Warner Bros. • 2018

Everything about Lil Xan as an artist feels off. While “Wake Up” is eclipsed by “B*tch I’m Bella Thorne” for its horrendous-ness, Xan makes up for it with his awful debut album, TOTAL XANARCHY.  Among the most embarrassing, offensive moments come by way of “Wake Up”, a brief joint lacking even the slightest bit of nutritional value.  Folks, there’s no fiber, no protein, and no vitamins. If there is silver lining (there really isn’t), it comes by way of an utterly dumb hook that easily gets stuck in one’s head: “Ay, I wake up, I throw up, I feel like I’m dead.” Somehow, he strings together two verses and a bridge, but the result is platitude after tired platitude.

Lil Xan, Total Xanarchy | Album Review

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3. Kanye West, “Lift Yourself Up”

Lift Yourself Up – Single • Def Jam • 2018

“But they don’t realize, though…This next verse, this next verse though…These bars…Watch this some shit, go.” Kanye West often finds ways to offend and piss of just about everybody. A number of fans were rethinking their ‘Kanye love’ following his profession of ‘Trump love’, something he addresses on single “Ye Vs the People” (featuring T.I.). In addition to the most controversial single of the two, he also released “Lift Yourself”. Safe to say, West totally misses the mark – there was no lift whatsoever on the shot, sigh.  The production isn’t the problem in the least – it’s Kanye.  When he urges listeners to “watch this some shit, go,” he fails to tell them just how utterly childish and ridiculous it actually is.

I quote:

“Poopy-di scoop

Scoop-diddy-whoop

Whoop-di-scoop-di-poop

Poop-di-scoopty.”

Bars man – bars.

Kanye West, ‘Lift Yourself’ | Track Review

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4. Kanye West & Lil Pump, “I Love It”

I Love It [Single] • GOOD / Def Jam • 2018

For the most part, Kanye West had a bad year, hence two consecutive piss-poor records from the controversial rapper.  Sure, there was some success with his Ye album, not to mention the much more triumphant KIDS SEE GHOSTS, but 2018 was not pretty for Mr. West.  “I Love It” was another bad moment from West, and he enlisted another artist appearing on this list multiple times to assist him, Lil Pump.  Basically, “I Love It” is an utterly ridiculous, sexually-charged, superficial offering from both rappers.  Lil Pump is as shallow as ever, asserting, “You’re such a fuckin’ hoe, I love it (love it).” As for West, he at least admits, “I’m a sick fuck, I like a quick fuck (whoop!),” getting graphic about his sexual endeavors. Of course, prior to either Pump or West spitting, there’s that sexually-tinged, NSFW intro by actress/comedian Adele Givens.  The only redeeming quality about “I Love It” is the accompanying music video.  As for the song, well, it sucks.

Kanye West & Lil Pump, ‘I Love It’ | Track Review

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5.Noah Cyrus & Lil Xan, “Live or Die”

Live or Die [Single] • RECORDS, LLC • 2018

Some collaborations are doomed from the start.  That’s the case with exes Noah Cyrus and Lil Xan on their single, “Live or Die.” While “Live or Die” has some nice musical ideas, it’s all over the place.  The production is imperfect with some bizarre musical synths, the melody has its moments, but there are quirks that take away from it ultimately. Honestly, it just doesn’t work out, much like the relationship between Cyrus and Xan.  At the time, this single was a representation of love – tailor-made to the relationship between Cyrus and Lil Xan.  If you barfed in your mouth a little bit, joint the club! Nothing wrong with love, but unfortunately, “Live or Die” simply isn’t a great musical representation. More like a crappy one…

 

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6. Russ, “The Flute Song”

ZOO • Columbia • 2018

“I do whatever I want, whenever I want, I love it / People keep talkin’, I just keep winning / I’m just like ‘Fuck it’.” Ugh, Russ, what the hell were you thinking man? ZOO is easily among the worst albums of 2018 by my estimations, keeping it 100. The suspect album kicks off in suspect fashion with “The Flute Song”. Essentially, the two-and-a-half-minute ‘flute’ feature feels a bit played out – how many rappers have already obsessed about the woodwind instrument? As usual, Russ is confident to the nth degree, using this joint as a flex-fest. He exhibits an agile flow, oscillating between straight rhymes and pop-rap. The chorus is relatively catchy and definitely carefree. Even with a couple of positives thrown in, Russ simply has nothing new or particularly interesting or dynamic to say.

Russ, ZOO | Album Review

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7. Lil Pump, “Drug Addicts”

Drug Addicts [Single] » Warner Bros. » 2018

“I been smokin’ since I was eleven / I been poppin’ pills since I was seven.” Ugh, ugh, ugh! What does one make of the Lil Pump and his ‘junkie’ single “Drug Addicts”? Obviously, being addicted to drugs is bad, and definitely shouldn’t be glorified – it can potentially ruin anyone’s life.  Unfortunately, no one sent that memo to the totally inept teen rapper, who seems to be glorifying his personal drug use from a young age.  Why? Rather than focusing on the shallow things like “Drug Addicts” does, Pump could be using his come-up, as well as his compelling flow, for bigger and better things. There’s nothing wrong with the production that graces “Drug Addicts” or his flow, but the bars and subject matter sink it.  Not even a Charlie Sheen music video can keep this off the worst songs of 2018.

Lil Pump, ‘Drug Addicts’ | Track Review

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8. Rita Ora, “Girls”

Ft. Bebe Rexha, Charli XCX & Cardi B

Phoenix • Atlantic • 2018

“I ain’t one-sided, I’m open-minded / I’m fifty-fifty and I’m never gonna hide it.” Perhaps, her heart was in the right place, but Rita Ora falls far short on her star-studded bisexually-driven anthem, “Girls”, which features Cardi B, Charli XCX, and Bebe Rexha. Typically, socially-charged songs, particularly those with a LGBTQ tilt, are applauded.  That has NOT been the case with  “Girls,” which has received widespread criticism. Ora and company oversimplify bisexuality, same-sex attraction, and sexuality in general.  This is a misguided pop record through and through, that had it been executed properly, could’ve packed a punch.

Rita Ora, Phoenix | Album Review

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9. Cardi B, “Money”

Money [Single] • Atlantic • 2018

“I was born to flex (yes) / Diamonds on my neck / I like boardin’ jets, I like mornin’ sex (woo) / But nothing in this word that I like more than checks (money).” In a year where Cardi B can’t seem to do wrong, the Grammy-nominated rapper had a misstep.  After initially reviewing her single “Money,” I was underwhelmed, but I didn’t hate it per se.  Looking back, however, nothing truly positive came out of this copycat single for Cardi B.  She’s rapped about money more than a couple of times, and much better than on “Money” itself.  Perhaps this is an instance of ‘so what’ as opposed to being ‘bloody awful.’

Cardi B, ‘Money’ | Track Review

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10. Bhad Bhabie, “Gucci Flip Flops”

Ft. Lil Yachty

15 • Bhad Bhabie • 2018

“Bhad Bhabie got these bitches bustin’ for cash…” Charming. Amazingly, the “cash me outside” girl, Danielle Bregoli – aka Bhad Bhabie – has had success with “Gucci Flip Flops”. Yuck – that’s disgusting.  Assisted by Lil Yachty, “Gucci Flip Flops” is nothing more than shallow trash talk. Bhad Bhabie must’ve counted how many times she could be profane through ample use of the word bitch, not to mention the f-bomb. As for Yachty, he must’ve forgot he was appearing on an underage artists record when he raps, “Can’t fuck the bitch ‘til she got her virginity.” This record exemplifies going utterly dumb and utterly stupid. 

Bhad Bhabie, ‘Gucci Flip Flops’ | Track Review

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11. Lil Pump, “Esskeetit”

Esskeetit – Single • Warner Bros. • 2018

Ah, another Lil Pump record graces the worst songs of 2018. “Esskeetit” appeared on the first edition of the list, but even as horrible as “Drug Addicts” was, it wasn’t enough to lift “Esskeetit” out of ‘worst song territory.” “Esskeetit” attempts to replicate the successful script of his ‘ace-in-the-hole’ (“Gucci Gang”) with no such luck. Generally, Lil Pump, like most of the SoundCloud rappers, never seems to get out of his box.  There’s not really any progression, just contentment living on the surface level.  “Esskeetit” is the exemplification of superficial.  He builds the hook off of clichés including ultra-lux clothes, Xanax, cars, and women.  “Esskeetit” feels like a longer, “Gucci Gang” remake that’s not nearly as addictive or fun. Lil Pump is recycles as opposed to expanding his game.

Lil Pump, ‘Esskeetit’ | Track Review

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12. 6ix9ine, “STOOPID”

Ft. Bobby Shmurda

DUMMY BOY • Scumgang • 2018

“Bitch, I’m lit on the ‘Gram, a million likes, you see my shit / A bitch DM for the dick, but I probably wouldn’t hit…” Rapper 6ix9ine is undoubtedly the ‘poster child’ of controversy – he’s quite the polarizing figure. He ‘had a moment’ with his breakout hit, “FEFE” featuring Nicki Minaj, but falls flat on the opener from DUMMY BOY (his second album of 2018), “STOOPID,” featuring Bobby Shmurda. Honestly, “STOOPID” has a fitting title given its utter stupidity.  The single commences with an annoying, pitch-shifted vocal intro.  To make it even more annoying, it’s pitched up as opposed to down.  6ix9ine returns to form, dropping screamed, aggressive vocals sounding as if he’s going to absolutely devour the microphone.  His chorus is the first notable section of the song, and it’s totally devoid of depth. Of course, Bobby does no better, dropping rhymes that reference oral sex (*rolls eyes*) and the “Shmoney dance” (*rolls eyes even more*).

6ix9ine, ‘STOOPID’ | Track Review

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13. James Bay, “Wild Love”

Electric Light • Republic • 2018

Never in a million years would I have thought that James Bay would’ve earned a spot on a worst-of list. Just doesn’t feel right for the talented English singer/songwriter. Maybe it was the shocking hair-cut that caused “Wild Love” to come off so odd, off-putting, and ill-conceived. A quirky promo single, “Wild Love” ends up playing out better within the context of his sophomore album, Electric Light – it’s a ‘grower,’ at least to an extent. Still, the modern, experimental vibes are imperfect.  While the vocal effects are terrific on the chorus, the verses remain a bit sketchy.  Sandwiched between triumphs “Pink Lemonade” and “Us,” it feels like the ‘odd man out.’

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14. Vic Mensa, “Dark Things”

Dark Things [Single] • Roc Nation • 2018

“Dark things in my mind again / I don’t wanna have a bad night again / I might lose my mind again / I might lose my mind again.” Vic Mensa is NOT in a good mental place, at least judging by the lyrics of his single, “Dark Things.” That said, one who is familiar with Mensa has to question what exactly he was thinking when he released this particular single… Despite bringing some darkness and energy on “Dark Things,” Mensa totally misses the mark, amplified by an overabundance of autotune. Perhaps “Dark Things” wouldn’t feel quite as bad as it does if Mensa weren’t the lead artist. Take any other young rapper, particularly those associated with SoundCloud rap, and “Dark Things” might actually work (emphasis on ‘might’). Simply put, he doesn’t offer up anything brand-new lyrically. Finding positives regarding “Dark Things” is an arduous task.

Vic Mensa, ‘Dark Things’ | Track Review

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15. The 1975, “TOOTIMETOOTIMETOOTIME”

A Brief Inquiry into Online Relationships • Interscope • 2018

For whatever bleeping reason, music critics went gaga for A Brief Inquiry into Online Relationships, the third studio album by The 1975.  Personally, I don’t see all the hype, but to each his or her own.  After awarding the album itself three stars, there’s still one particular moment from the LP that irks the hell out of me.  That is the tropically-tinged, electro-pop infused, ridiculously titled “TOOTIMETOOTIMETOOTIME”. Sure, the groove is undeniable, but it’s also completely uncharacteristic of the band.  Furthermore, Healy has autotune on his vocals.

Making things even weirder and even more cringe-worthy is the tongue-in-cheek, wordplay of the chorus:

“But I only called her one time

Maybe it was two times?

Don’t think it was three times

Didn’t mean to two-time ya, two-time ya.”

What more can you say but “oh brother?” Sure, there’s a camp that will likely ‘Stan’ for “TOOTIMETOOTIMETOOTIME” but as for me, it’s not my cup of tea.  Utterly annoying, though no the bottom of this particular list.

The 1975, A Brief Inquiry into Online Relationships | Album Review

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16. Christina Aguilera, “Accelerate”

Ft. Ty Dolla Sign & 2 Chainz

Liberation • RCA • 2018

Why? Why was “Accelerate” chosen as the comeback single for the great Christina Aguilera, who slays on the likes of “Beautiful” and “Ain’t No Other Man”? Thankfully, following this fragmented, gimmicky modern-pop, hip-hop infused record, she released two respectable ballads, particularly the powerful Demi Lovato duet, “Fall in Line”.  Where does “Accelerate” fall short? For one, the songwriting lacks depth – definitely NOT transcendent stuff.  Secondly, Ty Dolla $ign can’t keep up with Aguilera, noticeably going out of his vocal range. The 2 Chainz rap over the soulful, trap production switch is among the selling points, but does it really fit? Also, you could argue he outperforms Aguilera because as its own entity, 2 Chainz is being ‘true to self.’ All in all, “Accelerate” is a big fat pop mess – there’s no other way around it.  Take it or leave it.

Christina Aguilera, Liberation | Album Review 💿

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17.Justin Timberlake, “Filthy”

Man of the Woods • RCA • 2018

Ugh, I like Justin Timberlake – I really do.  But, as talented as he is, his albums tend to be flawed, particularly those from the 10s.  Everyone was excited for the first new Timberlake album to arrive since 2013, rightfully so.  However, “Filthy”, the promo single from Man of the Woods, is odd. While I might not go so far to call it even bad, it’s undercooked and lacks the quality of his biggest hits. The production (Timbaland and Danja) is sleek and modern, dominated by a sick beat, and a variety of synths.  Stylistically, he maintains urban-pop sensibilities, slated somewhere between the soul of old and modern pop.  His chanted, tongue-n-cheek vocals, exhibit hip-hop vibes without the ‘bars.’ As you can see, it has some redeeming qualities to make the worst-of list, but there’s little legit songwriting.  It’s devoid of depth and lyricism and ultimately, the cardinal sin may be the fact that it’s not particularly memorable.

Justin Timberlake, Man of the Woods | Album Review

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Photo Credits: Atlantic UK, B.H.A.D. Music, Columbia, Def Jam, Filthy Fangs, Interscope, RCA, RECORDS LLC, Scumgang, Warner Bros.

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