13 Phallic Songs that Celebrate the D

Reading Time: 20 min read

13 Phallic Songs that Celebrate the D features Danae Hays, Jordan Firstman, Kevin Flynn AKA White Wang, Lil’ Kim, Taylor Swift & The Boot Scootin’ Sissies.

“I wanna see my friends’ dicks out at the bar / I wanna see my friends’ dicks, don’t care if it’s hard.”

👀 Um, excuse me, Jordan Firstman?! Also, flaccid, my guy 🤔? As outlandish as those lyrics are, they set the tone for this below-the-belt playlist. Ladies and gentlemen, the star of this bold, unapologetically wild playlist is the D, as in D-I-C-K, or various other names for the male genitals 🍆. This list, 13 Phallic Songs that Celebrate the D, is NOT for everyone. I’m surprised I even compiled it… If you don’t care to read about or listen to lyrics that reference magic sticks 🪄, you should move on. This one is NSFW because of the songs, and maybe some of my commentary (🤭), so, proceed with caution. But, if you want some dazzling D in your life, to the tune of 13 inches songs, 13 Phallic Songs that Celebrate the D features Danae Hays, Jordan Firstman, Kevin Flynn AKA White Wang, Lil’ Kim, Taylor Swift, and The Boot Scootin’ Sissies. So, without further ado, it’s time to ride that… Um, questionable phrasing, my bad… Let’s slide into it, gripping that… getting worse… Let’s blast off like a rocket 🚀 as we stimulate our listening pleasures to the fullest on 13 Phallic Songs that Celebrate the D! By the way, believe it or not, it is not the first time joysticks got their own music compendium 😏.

~ Table of Contents ~

1. Kevin Flynn AKA White Wang, “Penis, Penis, Penis”	2. Lil Toe, “Suck My Nutz”	3. Jordan Firstman, “I wanna see my friends dicks”
4. Taylor Swift, “Wood”	5. SuS Records, “Your Dick Is Way Too Big”	6. Bryce Quartz, “Daddy Dick”
7. Danae Hays, “Dick in My Nightstand”	8. The Boot Scootin’ Sissies, “Dip, Duallys, and Dick”	9. Wheeler Walker Jr.,“I Sucked Another Dick Last Night”
10. Macklemore, “Penis Song”	11. King Missile, “Detachable Penis”	12. Lil’ Kim, “Magic Stick” (Ft. 50 Cent)
13. Bo Carter, “Please Warm My Weiner”

1. Kevin Flynn AKA White Wang, “Penis, Penis, Penis”

“Penis, Penis, Penis” » Kevin Flynn AKA White Wang » 2026

Music producer and artist Kevin Flynn AKA White Wang made quite a first impression. How so? In December 2025, he was “Eatin’ Ass on the Weekend”. Sure, plenty of people enjoy such happenings on the weekend and other days of the week, but recording a song about it? That’s bold! Returning with another musical offering, clearly, White Wang spent lots of time thinking about his junk, or others’ junk on “Penis, Penis, Penis”. Anytime a song is named after private parts, it raises eyebrows – the spiciness level ascends exponentially.

Here’s the thing. We never hear what’s going down with that “Penis, Penis, Penis.” In an age where explicitness and sex-positivity are all the rage, other than repeating penis over and over, we aren’t privy to what it’s, um, penetrating… The single is set in a minor key, which is fitting given what we assume is private matters… The production is superb. Our ears are treated to a hard-nosed, electronic hip-hop instrumental backdrop. This accompaniment includes menacing synths and a strong beat that provides a mighty anchor. The vocals never grow old, even if the repetition of penis makes you want to, um – you know what, never mind. Chopped-up vocals keep the song engaging. At times, the vocals are so manipulated that you can’t make an ounce of sense out of what is being said. And that is the beauty of electronic music! Beyond manipulated vocals for effect, the tempo slackens to a crawl mid-way through the song. After an intriguing, slow section, the pace picks back up, and the glory of the penis is keenly perceptible, for the whole horny world to hear! A wild song, “Penis, Penis, Penis” is quite entertaining. And, again, it’s less explicit than expected. Still, naming a song penis is never NOT going to garner attention.

Appears in 🔻:

Kevin Flynn AKA White Wang, Penis, Penis, Penis: Spicy Tunez No. 30 (2026)

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2. Lil Toe, “Suck My Nutz”

Essentials » Lil Toe » 2021

“You don’t wanna suck my balls?”

Well, Lil Toe (John Durham), that is a bold question. Perhaps if you approached the person more gently… However, the gives-no-fucks rapper continues spitting in the intro of “Suck My Nutz”, “What the fuck do you mean / You don’t wanna suck my nuts.” Clearly, he’s offended that she, presumably, doesn’t want to participate in oral sex… “Suck My Nutz,” which appears on Toe’s 2021 album, Essentials, is spicy from the jump. He wrote “Suck My Nutz” while Wonton (formerly Wonton Jesus, also Durham) produced it.

Before the bars from the intro kick in, the music sets the tone. The minimalist piano line is malicious. The beat, which builds up gradually, is sick. With the excerpted lyrics from the intro, as well as the instrumental, the build-up on “Suck My Nutz” is excellent. Where does it lead? A bad-ass, hard-nosed, distorted, rap banger with NSFW lyrics and utterly nasty-sounding production. Lil Toe is loud and uncompromising regarding his pleasure. Would we have it any other way? Hell no! His bold and unapologetic rhymes match the intensity of the backdrop. The lyrics on the chorus are similar to the intro, where Lil Toe bites, “What the fuck do you mean / You don’t wanna suck my nuts / Ay, I don’t give a fuck / Bitch, I’m tryna bust a nut.” Gah-day-um! The verse on this brief banger adds to its carnal, horny, and raw nature. “What the fuck do you mean / You don’t do it in the butt (what the) / I’m tryna bust a nut / So come make me cum,” he spits, without giving a shit (🤭). Keeping it a buck, Lil Toe touts the problem-solving abilities of his balls, and adds that he’s “Horny as a goat (bitch) / Bitch I’m a goat (goat) / If you can’t suck dick (bitch) / Bitch you gotta go (bitch).” Ooh-wee! He said what he said. Do you know what else he says at the end of the verse? He likes it raw… “The condoms at the store / I don’t use those anymore.” 👀 Lil Toe is turned up to the nth degree on “Suck My Nutz”. That BJ, and beyond, are clearly non-negotiables 😈!

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3. Jordan Firstman, “I wanna see my friends dicks”

Secrets » Openly Gay Productions / UMG Recordings Inc. » 2025

“I wanna see my friends’ dicks out at the bar / I wanna see my friends’ dicks, don’t care if it’s hard.”

So, even if it’s flaccid, Jordan Firstman wants to see it. Noted. With a title like “I wanna see my friends dicks”, little needs to be analyzed or explained. “I wanna see my friends dicks” is the second track from the actor/comedian/musician’s 2025 debut album, Secrets. The two lines excerpted from the unforgettable chorus provide context, if it was needed, that is. Firstman and producer Blake Slatkin wrote this infectious, outlandish, and risqué pop joint. Beyond co-writing, Slatkin puts in work behind the boards. Is “I wanna see my friends dicks” gay? You bet your D it is!

Yes, “I wanna see my friends dicks” is a gay sex song. There is no denying that! But take this NSFW gay pop single with a grain of salt 🧂. It is meant to be fun and carefree. See verse two:

“So go to the bathroom and fluff it up

Whatever you need to do (Mhm)

I just think, I don’t know, it could be fun and cool

To see all seven inches 📏 of you 🍆 (That’s big).”

Well, well, well! Depending on who you are, you are either laughing your ass off or clutching your pearls 😜 😳! On the bridge, fittingly, Jordan lists, and in some cases, describes his friends’ penises. “Dan’s uncut, Blake is thick / Girthy, hooded, short or long / Come on bro, show me that schlong.” Lawdy! The lyrics thrive off innuendo and, dick, duh! You won’t be able to get “I wanna see my friends dicks” out of your head. I sure can’t!

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4. Taylor Swift, “Wood”

The Life of a Showgirl » Taylor Swift » 2025

“Forgive me, it sounds cocky / He ah-matized me and opened my eyes / Redwood tree, it ain’t hard to see / His love was the key that opened my thighs.”

😳 😳 😳 D-d-damn, Taylor Swift. Those lyrics, which hail from the post-chorus of “Wood”, are filled with sexual innuendo. “Wood” is the risqué ninth track from the Grammy-winning pop star’s polarizing 12^th studio album, The Life of a Showgirl. In the four excerpted lines, Swift seems to reference her fiancé’s (Kansas City Chiefs tight end, Travis Kelce) penis 🍆, four times… Cocky, ah-matized (aka dickmatized), Redwood tree, and the key that opened my thighs. Did any of us expect to hear this from TS? She penned and produced “Wood” with Swedish hitmakers Max Martin (b. 1971) and Shellback (Karl Johan Schuster, b.1985).

The post-chorus is striking, given how sexual it is. Taylor Swift, who is beautiful, hasn’t been associated with sexual lyrics or songs. “Wood” isn’t all sexual, either. In the first verse, Swift references things related to superstition, including the penny, stepping on a crack, and the black cat. In the pre-chorus and chorus, Swift mentions wood in a superstitious context, singing such lines as, “A bad sign is all good, I ain’t gotta knock on wood.” In the chorus, she memorably sings:

“(Ah) All of that bitchin’, wishing on a falling star

Never did me any good, I ain’t got to knock on wood

(Ah) It’s you and me forever dancing in the dark

All over me, it’s understood, I ain’t got to knock on wood.”

While the excerpted lyrics show that “Wood” has more substance than manhood size, Swift doesn’t refrain from other instances where the D is key. “The curse on me was broken by your magic wand,” Swift sings in the pre-chorus. Magic wand, eh? Double entendre! How about those “New Heights of manhood?” Yes, New Heights is a podcast by the Kelce brothers, but the length is inescapable. “Wood” is something else. It clearly has Swift enticed… The lyrics are most ear-catching, but, overall, this brief pop record is groovy, memorable, and tuneful.

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5. SuS Records, “Your Dick Is Way Too Big”

“Your Dick Is Way Too Big” » James Werner » 2025

“You came back knockin’ on my backdoor / I told ya I don’t wanna see you anymore.”

Bummer! Backdoor, huh? It’s giving 🍑… The reason why she won’t allow ole boy back might surprise you, however. According to SuS Records, simply put, “Your Dick Is Way Too Big” 😳. So, for all of you size queens out there, in this instance, he’s packing too much! Another AI artist catching ears with outlandish and unapologetic music, Sus Records claims to be bringing back the songs that never were. Yup, I have no doubt this one never existed… In this self-described banned 1940s song, in a dirty blues/jazz style, the fit is not ideal.

Characteristic of dirty blues, the singer, Ms. Wilma Fingerdoo 😏, is accompanied by piano. She delivers assertive, dynamic, and robust vocals. The lyrics are NOT SAFE WORK. Outlandish, she’s brutally honest about the fact that he can’t fit.

“Your dick’s way too big, it’s never gonna fit

Your dick’s way too big, it’s gonna make me split

It’s not fitting in my mouth or in my back door

Your dick’s too big, so I can’t see you no more.”

Too much information, and yet, our dirty minds picture every filthy lyric. By the way, that backdoor reference is clarified… 🍑. Fingerdoo provides more eyebrow-raising moments. In the second verse, she states, “You have a cock as big as two or three guys.” Hmm, I have questions… The bridge raises even more questions. “But the first six inches is only the tip,” she sings, and continues, “If you put the whole thing in, I’d have a heart attack / You’re the one who’s taller, lyin’ on their back.”Say what now?! A six-inch tip? If that is indeed the case, Wilma knows exactly what she’s talking about. The risks for injury would be greatly increased given the massive size of such a D… Ultimately, Wilma Fingerdoo, SuS Records, and “Your Dick Is Way Too Big” should all be taken with an itty bitty grain of salt.

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6. Bryce Quartz, “Daddy Dick”

The Sextape » AVO Entertainment » 2024

“Give me that daddy dick, dick is immaculate, he’s packin’ it.”

Woo! Bryce Quartz is bold to the nth degree – unafraid to raise eyebrows with his music. Sex positivity is a big part of the compelling thick boy’s script as well, particularly as an openly gay rapper. In 2024, he released his NSFW project, The Sextape, featuring the bear-touting song at hand, “Daddy Dick”. Fittingly, “Daddy Dick” comes with a ‘clean’ music video that involves hooking up with bears… the gay kind, of course! It stars Daddy Leo, SIR CUB, and The Durty Bears. There is a spicier music video, too… who is shocked? It’s Bryce ‘fucking’ Quartz, an admitted Sodomite 😉! The song title tells you what you need to know about the theme of the song. Sex with daddies, specifically, those hairy, delectable bears 🐻! It’s giving Growl…r 😝! “I’m feeling horny, let me fuck up on your dad / I’m fucking over forty different men at your pad,” Quartz raps enthusiastically about the pleasure. 40? We listen and we don’t judge! The beat goes hard as… fuck, of course! Furthermore, there are spicy sound effects (moans) that are a surefire catalyst for S-E-X. As that beat pounds us in the chest, Quartz raps about being pounded, among other things 😈? There is no shortage of lyrical highlights, even if all of them are sex-related. He requests “ejaculate.” What does he do with said ejaculate? “Devour(s) it / …Swallows and vacuum it,” of course 💦! It’s giving Hoover! And of course, Daddy is packing, for all of you size queens! Enough puns and silliness, though! “Daddy Dick” needs no extensive analysis or commentary – it speaks for itself.

Appears in 🔻:

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7. Danae Hays, “Dick in My Nightstand”

“Dick in My Nightstand” » Danae Hays » 2024

“Some girls just want a good man with a good job and a good plan /…But me, I got a dick in my nightstand, ooh yeah.”

Oh 🫢… Excuse me? LGBTQ Comedic singer-songwriter and content creator Danae Hays said what she said on the brutally honest “Dick in My Nightstand”. To be fair, many of us own sex toys. Sex positivity is all the rage! But do we sing about them? No, but Hays does! Hayes wrote “Dick” (🤭) with Alex Kline and Chris Gelbuda. Although it is outlandish lyrically, it sounds like tried-and-true country music.

The premise of “Dick in My Nightstand” is simple. Danae Hays doesn’t need a man! Men suck, or so that seems to be the case throughout the song. During a lame date, Hays is happy, but not because of him: “Good thing tequila does what it does / I didn’t catch feelings, but I caught a buzz.” Woo! Rather than riding him or fantasizing about riding him, she has her Chevy truck in mind. Oh, and of course, there’s that toy waiting at home. In the second verse, she’s thrilled she doesn’t have to be annoyed by him: “It doesn’t talk when I’m trying to read / It doesn’t poke me when I’m trying to sleep.” In the third verse/bridge, with his absence, “It won’t piss on the toilet seat / Or drag me to an Applebee’s.” Oh, snap! The chorus, excerpted earlier, is the crème de la crème. In its entirety, it goes a little something like this:

“I got a dick in my nightstand

I can use with my left hand

When I’m alone, it always treats me right

Never too tired on a Friday night

Some girls just want a good man with a good job and a good plan

Picket fence with a little white house on a hill with some nice land

Oh, but me, I got a dick in my nightstand

You know I do.”

Following the final chorus, Danae has a conundrum: “Dammit, the batteries are dead.” “Dick in My Nightstand” should be taken with a grain of salt. It’s on-brand with other eyebrow-raising, outlandish songs by Hayes. That said, she does make some valid points in this edgy country joint. Still, while a toy can relieve horniness, it can’t compensate for loneliness. Let that sink in.

Appears in 🔻:

Danae Hays, Dick in My Nightstand: Spicy Tunez No. 22 (2026)

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8. The Boot Scootin’ Sissies, “Dip, Duallys, and Dick”

Balls Deep in the Bible Belt » DistroKid » 2025

“Dip, Duallys, and dick, I mean deer.”

🦌, The Boot Scootin’ Sissies? Bullshit! You sang what you meant to sing, keying in on 🍆. And guess what? There’s nothing wrong with it – it’s an amazing organ 😈! In the chorus of the outlandish, queer AI country song, “Dip, Duallys, and Dick”, two straight bros are doing more than traditional country a$$ shit. “Nothin’ queer ‘bout ridin’ deep in the mud / Or oilin’ up your buddy when you’re covered in crud / It’s just dip, Duallys, and dick, I mean deer.” Deep? Oil? Lordy! If you have to defend it, you’re probably L-Y-I-N-G! Randy Bottoms and The Boot Scootin’ Sisses wrote this homoerotic joint. Bottoms produced it. In the YouTube caption for the ninth track from Balls Deep in the Bible Belt, Bottoms asserts:

“This song ain’t gay. It’s about male bonding. About two straight bros ridin’ duallys, swappin’ chew, and occasionally touchin’ souls (and butts) under the bug zapper. If that’s wrong, then brother, I don’t wanna be right.”

Um, sure, whatever you say. The second verse suggests otherwise. The song’s protagonist admits he stared too long. Judging by the sight of Cody bent over, it seems appropriate. Dude’s caked up in those tight Wranglers 😍! Of course, one thing leads to another: “Now he’s shiftin’ me like a 4×4.” Say what, now?! By the second pre-chorus following the second verse, things are quite gay. Railing, riding, kissing, and pants half high… Pants half high is quite specific… But according to Randy, in the final chorus, “Ain’t nothin’ straighter than a man who knows / How to spit, shoot, squat, and please his bros.” Huh. Like any AI song, particularly AI country songs, “Dip, Duallys, and Dick” should be taken with a grain of salt. Still, it’s incredibly entertaining, made more so by the fact that one of the more conservative genres of music grows incredibly queer. Straight country musicians wouldn’t dare write or sing a song like this 😏. Other than the gay theme, however, this sounds like any other country song with a tried-and-true countrified backdrop (guitars, banjos, drums, etc.). The D is inescapable, however!

Appears in 🔻:

The Boot Scootin’ Sissies, Dip, Duallys, and Dick: Spicy Tunez No. 31 (2026)

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9. Wheeler Walker Jr.,“I Sucked Another Dick Last Night”

WW III » Pepperhill Music » 2018

“I sucked another dick last night / Not sayin’ that’s wrong or right / First few that I blew / I could blame on the booze.”

😬 😳 Being inebriated can make you do a lot of stuff, including giving guys a blow job, according to comedic country musician Wheeler Walker Jr. (Ben Hoffman). If you have followed Walker’s music, sex is prevalent. “I Sucked Another Dick Last Night”, the fifth track from his 2018 album, WW III, is not the first time this straight man has engaged in oral sex with other men. In 2016, he was on the receiving end of “Which One O’ You Queers Gonna Suck My Dick” from Redneck Shit. But, he’s the giver these last few times. In the chorus, he continues, “But now it’s just something I do / We didn’t fuck, so don’t get uptight / But I sucked another dick last night.” At least he admitted it…

The only problem is, Wheeler is a married man with a son. He tells his wife she’d be the recipient of the dick sucking, “if you had a dong.” Word. He also tells her not to tell his son. Describing himself as a “cock-gobblin’, cum-swallerin’, crazy old man 🥴,” he sings, “Please accept me for the guy that I am /And not what I’d do in the back of the van.” WE LISTEN, AND WE DON’T JUDGE… Yeah, that’s bullshit, we DO judge! But, honestly, doesn’t Wheeler make us judge him, with lines like “Didn’t kiss neither of you [wife and son] until I brushed my teeth / So, I need you to stop all this judging of me.” Hmm. So, how does he identify sexually? It is hard to tell, but, he enjoys bananas, once a month at the most, or so he says. Walker Jr. gives us a comedic, gay country song we won’t forget anytime soon. “I Sucked Another Dick Last Night” is something else to say the least! Fun fact: Hoffman is the older brother of Babydaddy (Scott Huffman), a member of the iconic LGBTQ band, Scissor Sisters.

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10. Macklemore, “Penis Song”

The Language of My World » Ben Haggerty » 2005

“This is my penis song / I wish that I had a bigger schlong…”

😳 “One that was quite a bit more thick and way more long / One of those porno King Kong dongs.” Wow 😮, I’m speechless 😶! It takes some big cojones to record a song about your schlong. Apparently, Grammy-winning rapper Macklemore (Ben Haggerty, b. 1983) had ‘em when he recorded his “Penis Song”. Let that peen sink in! “Penis Song” is the 12^th track from his debut album, The Language of My World, released in 2005. A spicy joint about the size of his nether, “Penis Song” is best taken with a grain of salt.

<a href="https://macklemore.bandcamp.com/album/the-language-of-my-world" data-wpel-link="external" target="_blank" rel="external noopener noreferrer">The Language Of My World by Macklemore</a>

Fittingly, “Penis Song” begins with a penile introduction (sorry, couldn’t resist). This occurs before the chorus, excerpted earlier. “Ladies and gentlemen, introducing / The ‘Penis Song’.” Oh, dick, shit! Here, Macklemore is accompanied by a dusty, hard-hitting groove, a big string bass line, keys, and guitar. There are some old-school rap, jazz-rap vibes that make this bold song incredibly musical. Regarding the rapping, Macklemore delivers a compelling cadence and flow throughout. He is brutally honest, asserting, “I wish my dick was bigger, yep, I can admit it / I’m above average on inches, but I wanted damn double digits.” Woo! He continues, “If I had a big ol’ cock, what would I do? / I’d probably go to Florida and show it to Trina and screw.” Lawd have mercy! He concludes the first verse with a bang: “I know that God made us all different and special / But shit, did he really have to invent lopsided testicles?” One of the most entertaining moments is an interlude when he asks the ladies about average-sized dicks: “Ayo, ladies? Yeah? Ladies? Yeah? Do you want a guy with an average dick? Hell no.” In the second verse, Macklemore offers more penile goodness, or lack thereof: “I promise, I’m so self-conscious / That’s why you never see me skinny dippin’ in August.” Later, he proclaims, “If I was really hung I’d make a whole album called Me and My Dick / With interludes of all the girls that I’d been with / And talk about my package and multiple orgasms / ‘Cause all that I see is that size does matter.” Word. He understands, however, “I’m not a porno star, I just gotta face it.” On “Penis Song”, Macklemore brings ample big dick energy, size deficit aside! Nothing more needs to be said!

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11. King Missile, “Detachable Penis”

Happy Hour » Atlantic Recording Corp. » 1992

“Even though sometimes it’s a pain in the ass, I like having a detachable penis.”

To each his own, King Missile. In the avant-garde art-rock band’s “Detachable Penis”, the penis is the star of the show. “Detachable Penis” is the eighth track from the band’s 1992 album, Happy Hour. The music ‘cooks’ throughout the song. The jagged, distorted guitar riffs and organ are fierce. The music is not odd but the theme and lyrics, ‘take the cake’ on “Detachable Penis.”

So, why is the penis detachable? That’s a valid question that never gets answered. At the beginning, the listeners are informed of a missing peen…

“I woke up this morning with a bad hangover, and my penis was missing again. This happens all the time; it’s detachable.”

Mercy. We listen, and we don’t judge. From there, we get this ‘song and dance’ regarding searching for the missing, detachable penis, which we assume is NOT a dildo. A prosthetic?

“I was starting to get desperate. I really don’t like being without my penis for too long; it makes me feel like less of a man, and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.”

After searching for the ding-a-ling, the narrator finds it:

“So, I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast. Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark’s Place, where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street, I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven. Some guy was selling it–I had to buy it off him. He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.”

Did I mention we listen, and we don’t judge already? All the while these shenanigans occur, there are sung vocals. Can you guess the lyrics? If you came up with “detachable penis,” you are in business. A 1990s classic, “Detachable Penis” is an odd, odd song that never grows old.

Appears in 🔻:

King Missile, Detachable Penis: Wacky Wednesday No. 9 (2025)

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12. Lil’ Kim, “Magic Stick” (Ft. 50 Cent)

La Bella Mafia » Atlantic Recording Corporation » 2003

“I got the magic stick / I know if I can hit once, I can hit twice.”

Oh, shyt 👀! Grammy-winning rapper Lil’ Kim (Kimberly Jones, b. 1974) conjured up some sexually driven magic on her hit single, “Magic Stick”. Kim doesn’t get down and dirty by herself, however. She’s assisted by fellow Grammy winner, 50 Cent (Curtis Jackson, b. 1975). It’s 50 Cent who spits the ultra-memorable line, excerpted above. “Magic Stick” is the 12^th track from Lil’ Kim’s 2003 platinum-certified album, La Bella Mafia. Hella successful, it peaked at number two on the Billboard Hot 100. Unsurprisingly, the record was nominated for a Grammy at the 46^th Annual Grammy Awards for Best Rap Performance by a Duo or Group. Fantom Of The Beat and Sha Money XL produced the track, which samples the epic Joe Simon (1936 – 2021) song, “It Be’s That Way Sometimes”.

Lil’ Kim and 50 Cent keep it nasty on “Magic Stick.” It all begins with Fiddy, who touts his D in a chorus for the ages. Beyond that, in the first verse, he informs her, “I’m a freak to the core /… My tongue touch ya girl, ya toes bound to curl / This exclusive stick I don’t share with the world.” Additional striking moments from the first include, “I’ll rock the boat, I’ll work the middle,” and, “I pop a lot of shit cause I can back it up / My left stroke’s the death stroke.” Lil’ Kim makes her first appearance in the second chorus, where she asserts, “I got the magic clit / I know if I get licked once, I can get licked twice.” Gah-day-um! Don’t get shyt twisted, though. Per the second verse, “Lil’ Kim not a whore / But I sex a nigga so good, he gotta tell his boys.” Woo! Kim adds the likes of “‘Cause my head game have you head over heels / Give a nigga the chills, have him pay my bills,” and “Couple of humps, give a nigga goosebumps.” 👀 In the third chorus, 50 and Kim join forces, combining stick and clit action, before collaborating in the third verse, involving magic stick and magic box. Notably, there is also a sexed-up skit between Kim and an inmate to conclude the song. It’s somethin’ else, too! Ultimately, “Magic Stick” is a trip, sure to get your hormones going something fierce! Two decades later, this sexed-up rap song remains potent.

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13. Bo Carter, “Please Warm My Weiner”

Mashing That Thing » Universal Digital Enterprises » 2024

“I got somethin’ to tell ya, baby, don’t get mad this time.”

Okay, Bo Carter (1893? – 1964), what is it? “If you warm my weiner, you give me ease all up in my mind.” Wow 😳… The Hokum blues, aka dirty blues, are potent on “Please Warm My Weiner”, which dates back to 1935. No deep analysis is necessary. Carter is not referencing the cute dog, or a hot dog, but rather his natural weiner. Accurately characterized as ribald, accompanying himself on guitar, Carter spends the entirety of the song singing about his penis 🍆. Hey, since then, there have been lots of penis songs, so…

“Please Warm My Weiner” is shocking for the 1930s. Sure, Carter avoids the explicit language of the 2020s (we’d call it a dick, most likely), but, it’s clear that he wants pleasure. He needs warmth “‘Cause he [his weiner] really don’t feel right cold.” True 😏… but still, TMI 😳! Bo also suggests his lady (we assume) will enjoy it, too, because, “If you warm my weiner one time, you gonna want him again.” Perhaps he’s too confident about what he’s packing, but when it comes to sex, honestly, who just wants to ‘do it’ one time, especially if he… or she is hot 🥵? One has to wonder, was Bo desperate for some stimulation? “I’m beggin’ you baby, now just give your daddy one break.” Of course, daddy is used in a sexual context – not her father! That would be way over the top! So, just remember, folks, when you hear the old folks talking about how explicit the music of the 2020s is, perhaps you should share some of those Hokum blues… they never fail to shock. “Please Warm My Weiner” is… phallic to say the least! Will someone be offended by this song? Probably, but personally, I take it with a grain of salt 🤣.

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13 Phallic Songs that Celebrate the D (2026) [📷: Brent Faulkner / The Musical Hype; AVO Entertainment, Atlantic Recording Corporation, Ben Haggerty, James Werner, Kevin Flynn AKA White Wang, Lil Toe, Openly Gay Productions, Pepperhill Music, Taylor Swift, UMG Recordings Inc., Universal Digital Enterprises; Deon Black from Pexels; Gordon Johnson from Pixabay]

13 Phallic Songs that Celebrate the D | Playlist

Published by the musical hype on June 3, 2026June 3, 2026