I. Drinks (pt. i) 🧃 🥤 🥃

1. Melanie Martinez, “Orange Juice” 🍊🧃

K-12 • Atlantic • 2019

Melanie Martinez was among the most compelling contestants on NBC’s vocal competition, The Voice.  While The Voice itself hasn’t catapulted many of its alumni into big-time success, Martinez has achieved her fair share of success. Quite a quirky, alternative individual, it paid dividends on her 2015 major label debut, Cry Baby. Four years later, she returned with another distinct, conceptual affair with her ‘school-centric’ sophomore album, K-12.  Cry Baby, the central character on Cry Baby, returned on K-12, which is notably accompanied by a 90+ minute film.  Fitting the criteria for the ‘DRINKS’ section of TIME TO EAT – DINNER IS SERVED! is the song, “Orange Juice” 🍊🧃.

“Orange Juice,” unfortunately, doesn’t put the popular, breakfast fruit juice in a positive light.  That’s part of the genius of it.  Melanie Martinez addresses the dangers of eating disorders, seeking to attain ‘perfection’ at the risk of poor health mentally and physically.  “You turn oranges to orange juice,” she sings on the chorus, continuing, “Enter there, then spit it out of you / Your body is imperfectly perfect / Everyone wants what the other one’s working / No more orange juice.” “Orange Juice” previously appeared on the juicy playlist, 11 Songs Where the Juice is Totally Potent.

2. Miguel, “Coffee”  ☕️

WILDHEART • RCA • 2015

There’s no need in even trying to pretend.  We all know that “Coffee” ☕️ , a gem from Grammy-winner Miguel (WILDHEART) is not about Folgers, Maxwell House, or Starbucks.  I mean, I used this as a Steamy Saturday entry on the now defunct Weekly Gems for a reason.  So, let’s get right into it…

Miguel sexes very well…lyrically speaking.  The man has a voice with the ability to woo women and make men jealous of his game.  “Coffee” marks one of the sexiest moments from WILDHEART. Over the course of “Coffee,” he covers both the emotional and physical relationship.  While he balances, not making “Coffee” merely carnal, it ends up being carnal – shocking!

The innuendo is poetic, particularly when he sings, “Wordplay, turns into gunplay / And gunplay turns into pillow talk / and pillow talk turns into sweet dreams / Sweet dreams turns into coffee in the morning.” The reference to “coffee in the morning” suggests a night of play and perhaps, morning sex as well.  The best line: “Old souls we found a new religion / Now I’m swimming in that sin, that’s baptism.” “Coffee” also previously appeared on 11 Songs Where the Innuendo is Out of Control and 11 Songs Where It Gets Steamy II.

3. James Bay, “Pink Lemonade” 🍋 

Electric Light • Republic • 2018

Following a divisive promo single (“Wild Love”), Grammy-nominated British artist James Bay ultimately ended up exceeding expectations on his 2018, sophomore album, Electric Light. Another advance single, “Pink Lemonade” 🍋 , marks one of the truly elite moments on the album, as well as a brilliant addition to its original list, 11 Songs Where the Juice is Totally Potent. Bay focusing on the highly consumed beverage, pink lemonade, or does he?

Honestly, Bay DOES NOT spend the majority of “Pink Lemonade” singing about the beverage.  The first and only mention of pink lemonade occurs on the bridge, near the end of the song! He sings:

“Let me wake up heavy head
Lying in my bed with you naked
Go put that song on, that you love
On repeat, until we can’t fake it
I wanna drink pink lemonade
Watching movie trailers ‘til it’s late
And let’s remember all the words
That we think are gonna make our hearts break.”

If you didn’t already figure it out, “Pink Lemonade” has little to do with fruit juice or any beverage for that matter.  Bay stated in the behind the scenes video that the song is about “this massive urge and desire to escape.”  Definitely interesting, and so are the lyrics throughout the verses, not to mention the brilliant, ‘pink lemonade-less’ chorus.

“‘Do you wanna talk? Do you wanna talk it through?’
Swear I ain’t got anything on my mind
I don’t wanna talk to you.”

Ultimately, “Pink Lemonade” is an aggressive, thrilling rock joint from Electric Light.  The guitars are robust, chocked-full of massive ‘stank,’ while Bay opts against vocal finesse in favor of unapologetic grit.

I. Drinks (pt. ii) 🧃 🥤 🥃

4. Luke Bryan, “One Margarita” 🍹

Born Here, Live Here, Die Here • Capitol • 2020

“Lettin’ go a little, little by little / Sippin’ on a frozen drink.” Yeah, Luke Bryan is no stranger to singing about, or partaking in, alcoholic consumption. “One Margarita” 🍹, the fourth single from his seventh studio album, Born Here, Live Here, Die Here, is no exception.  Rather than sing about beer – one of his favorite topics – he opts for margarita(s).  Of course, margaritas work just as well for the drink portion of TIME TO EAT – DINNER IS SERVED!

As is the expectation of a Luke Bryan song, the production is strong – high budget.  Thankfully, Bryan has laid to rest the pop-crossover sound, embracing ‘country’ firmly.  The sound is guitar-heavy, with banjo, dashes of organ, and pummeling drums. Beyond the sound, Bryan is true to self, thematically and vocally.  His sound is heavy on twang. If you’re a fan of his ‘good ole southern boy’ charm and voice, well, you’ll be onboard with “One Margarita.”  He does nothing drastically different from anything he’s done in the past; the needle is not moved. Basically, this is your beached-out, spring break joint from a man approaching his mid-40s.  Exhibit A – the chorus:

“One margarita, two margarita, three margarita, shot
Don’t worry ‘bout tomorrow
Leave all your sorrow out here on the floatin’ dock
When that sun lays down, we’ll be on our way
One more barefoot round, one more last chance to say
Hey Señorita, don’t you think we need a salt and a Marley song?
One margarita, two margarita, three margarita
We’ll be gone
We’ll be gone.”

“One Margarita” previously appeared on the playlist, 11 Number Songs Selected with No Rhyme or Reason, where, it was indeed, number ONE.

5. Luke Combs, “Beer Never Broke My Heart” 🥃

What You See is What You Get • River House Artists, LLC / Sony Music Entertainment • 2019

“Longneck ice-cold beer never broke my heart / Likin’ diamond rings and football teams have torn this boy apart… / And longneck ice-cold beer never broke my heart.” Luke Bryan might’ve opted for Margaritas, but Luke Combs indulges in BEER as his drink of choice – at least when it comes too “Beer Never Broke My Heart”  🥃, which appears on his 2019 sophomore album, What You See is What You Get. Love, politicians, and sports teams have all messed him up, but never that glorious substance known as beer.  It shouldn’t come as a surprise – country musicians have notorious love for beer.

Luke Combs keeps it relatively tight on “Beer Never Broke My Heart,” just inching past three minutes in duration.  Besides a respectable length, he does a fabulous job of maintaining the country music script.  He delivers robust vocals, heavy on twang, and unapologetically country.  Here, Combs is all ‘old-school’ on this straightforward, turned-up, guitar-heavy joint. Perhaps he doesn’t revolutionize country music with this alcoholic joint, but it is rock-solid, period.  It certainly tickled my fancy back in May 2019.  Cheers! Onto section II.

II. Fruit (pt. i) 🍎 🍓 🍉

1. Lil Uzi Vert, “Strawberry Peels” 🍓💨

Ft. Young Thug & Gunna

Eternal Atake (Deluxe) – LUV vs. the World 2 • Atlantic • 2020

“Strawberry Peels” 🍓💨  is pretty badass, if I do say so myself.  It’s definitely a badass way to commence the second section of TIME TO EAT – DINNER IS SERVED! which focuses on FRUIT. The record appears on Eternal Atake (Deluxe) – LUV vs. The World 2, the expanded version of Eternal Atake, the 2020 studio album by Lil Uzi Vert.  Uzi Vert is assisted by Young Thug and Gunna on this sub-two-minute banger, which earned a spot on the quirky playlist, 15 Colorful Songs, Approximately Two Minutes or Less.

What exactly are the rappers getting at here? Obviously, we never talk about eating strawberry peels – only the strawberries themselves, so what’s this all about? Well, per the ever-reliable Urban Dictionary, strawberry peels are slang for “Candy dipped in TCH, put in lean mixed with strawberry Fanta and trolli strawberry puff candy…” OK… I’m starting to think this might’ve been best suited in the dessert section of this food-driven list???

Focusing on the song, those strawberry peels are potent AF! Uzi Vert allows his featured guests to drop their bars first.  A prime example – Thugga’s first verse:

“Cop what I want and my wrist and my style is on crunk and it’s real
Half of my n***as get high off a seal
Brand new pints and they all teal
I put my dick in her bladder, yeah, yeah
And I’m fuckin’ her friends and they all here.”

“Dick in her bladder,” huh? That definitely has nothing to do with food, and I’m not entirely sure what he’s saying is umm, ‘accurate’ either considering ‘what he’s getting at,’ but I digress. Young Thug also lands the best part of record, the chorus! “Strawberry peels, strawberry peels…” – you get the idea.  Also, shout out to Wheezy for the banging production that fuels the fire.

2. Harry Styles, “Watermelon Sugar” 🍉 

Fine Line • Columbia • 2019

“Tastes like strawberries on a summer evenin’ / And it sounds just like a song.”  Apparently, the British pop singer Harry Styles enjoys fruit, as “Watermelon Sugar”   🍉  marks his second fruit-oriented song (“Kiwi” 🥝 being the first). “Watermelon Sugar” also marked the second single from his 2019, platinum-certified sophomore album, Fine Line.  In the context of the fruit servings from TIME TO EAT – DINNER IS SERVED, our fruit on this particular song is watermelon – NO CAP 🚫 🧢 ! Yeah, I just wanted to say ‘NO CAP,’ so I did, and I dare you say something – NO CAP!

“Watermelon Sugar” is a total BOP.  Harry Styles sounds superb vocally. The huskiness and assertiveness of his vocal performance is awesome.  Moving on to the sound, vibe, and production of the record, Kid Harpoon and Tyler Johnson give him a top-notch backdrop to work with.  There are elements of rock and pop, as well as a dash of retro and vintage.  In addition to vocals, some of the ‘ear candy’ listeners are spoiled with includes acoustic and electric guitars, piano, keyboard, and most distinctly, horns. Though “Watermelon Sugar” isn’t a deep, transcendently penned song, it is enjoyable and entertaining.  That begins with the love-centric, summery, and ‘fruity’ verses. It continues on the pre-chorus and is capped off by the repetitive but vibe-filled chorus, which highlights the titular lyric: “Watermelon sugar high.”  “Watermelon Sugar” tickled my fancy back in November 2019.

II. Fruit (pt. ii) 🍎 🍓 🍉

3. LoveLeo, “LEMONS” 🍋

“LEMONS” • GODMODE / Republic • 2020

From strawberry [peels] and watermelon [sugar] we move on to “LEMONS” 🍋 , courtesy of LoveLeo.  A bit of background about our handsome, talented musician. The pop (‘anti pop’) artist (real name Leo Reilly) earned a breakout, viral hit at the end of 2019 with “BOYFREN”.  With “BOYFREN,” a number of factors made it infectious – the production (rather simple, yet potent), the vocals, and maybe most of all, the lyrics. The same can be said of, Reilly’s second single, “Rosie”, which earned a review, as well as a playlist placement: 16 ‘R’ Songs Selected with No Rhyme or Reason. As you might expect, “LEMONS” is another rad song courtesy of LoveLeo.

“LEMONS” kicks off with an incredibly catchy chorus, which plays on a metaphor based on those sour fruits, basically.

“Life just gives me lemons
And I don’t like lemonade
Sticky situation
Look at this mess I’ve made.”

Despite getting lemons, and disliking lemonade, LoveLeo brings plenty of energy on this alternative pop cut.  The lyrics are filled with lemonade – I mean pessimism – yet, for all the unfortunate situations captured, the music is sick.  The second verse, in particular might be my favorite, including a clever reference or two:

“I don’t make music
I make songs for you
But you never listen
So, I play it cool
If a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
Then a bathtub full of Splenda
Will turn your whole life around.”

Splenda definitely sweetens faster than sugar, but it’s not without risks – you know all those studies where everything will ultimately kill you? Staying focused on the song though, it’s an example of how creative LoveLeo is as an artist.  “LEMONS” – the serving of fruit you need!

4. N.E.R.D, “Lemon” 🍋

Ft. Rihanna

NO ONE EVER REALLY DIES • Columbia • 2017

“The truth will set you free / But first, it’ll piss you off.” Following the introductory statement, Pharrell Williams then proceeds to go crazy, pop-rapping over the up-tempo, frantic backdrop of “Lemon” 🍋, the second lemon song from this totally fruity segment of the playlist! “Lemon,” of course, is the crowning achievement of No One Ever Really Dies.  If you haven’t heard No One Every Really Dies, let me tell you – it’s legitimately wacky AF.  It’s definitely an album that is an outlet for Pharrell to go crazy experimental. Unfortunately, the comeback of N.E.R.D didn’t exactly ignite the charts on fire, and that’s keeping it “1000”.

Anyways, following the unapologetic verse, he drops the refrain, for lack of a better description. It’s incredibly catchy and as bizarre as everything else. Following another high-flying verse, Pharrell steps aside for the real star of the show, Rihanna, who delivers the feisty chorus over a beat /production switch. Although bizarre, there’s nothing the least bit sour about “Lemon.” Worth noting, Drake appears on the remixed version. “Lemon” previously appeared on 10 Fruitastic, Fruity Songs About Fruit and more recently, the upgraded version, 15 Nutritious Songs About Fruit.

5. Gabriel Garzón-Montano, “Sour Mango” 🥭

Jardín • Stones Throw • 2017

“Atop a hill under the MANGO tree / Wishing on a memory / Hoping you were sitting, thinking of me,” Gabriel Garzón-Montano sings on “Sour Mango” 🥭 ,the first-full-length song off of his 2017 album, Jardín.  Obviously, the fruit of choice is a mango, which I’d argue are less common compared to the other fruits gracing this list. Jardín was a stunning album that unfortunately was one of the most underrated projects of 2017.

Before I cut him off to provide a bit of commentary, picking up where Garzón-Montano left off, “…Although I played with myself baby I had to weep / In tribute to a very funky tragedy / I plucked a piece of fruit it wasn’t so sweet.” Now that’s some Grade A, poetic shit right there – nothing sour about the quality of lyrics, even if the fruit sucks. Groovy, “Sour Mango” lays back on the beat, giving off truly chill vibes.  While Garzón-Montano flaunts his soulful abilities, he never forces anything – no gospel histrionics.  “Sour Mango” feels completely natural, even if the R&B singer/songwriter asserts, “I’m sick of sour mangos, give me some sweet.” “Sour Mango” previously appeared on 10 Fruitastic, Fruity Songs About Fruit and more recently, the upgraded version, 15 Nutritious Songs About Fruit. 

III. Veggies 🥦 🥬  🥔

1. DRAM, “Broccoli” 🥦

Ft. Lil Yachty

Big Baby DRAM • EMPIRE / Atlantic • 2016

“In the middle of the party, bitch, get off me (god damn) / In the cut, I’m rollin’ up my broccoli (god damn) …” Hold up – how do you ‘roll up broccoli’ exactly, DRAM.  I mean, I can see removing the stalks of this absolutely delicious green vegetable, but I can’t see you “rollin’ up” no broccoli – what the hell man? Okay, okay, I’m kidding – DRAM is obviously talking about weed on his Grammy-nominated gem, “Broccoli”  🥦.  Letting him finish his lyrics: “…Yeah, I know your baby mama fond of me (god damn) / All she want to do is smoke that broccoli (god damn).”  And there’s the clarification that ‘broccoli’ in this case is a wacky veggie to say the least!

Nonetheless, veggies have NEVER sounded so appetizing until DRAM came along. “Broccoli” gave the Virginia rapper-singer a breakthrough hit in addition to his Grammy-nomination.  Aside from an assist by Lil Yachty who drops an insensitive Columbine reference, “Broccoli” delivers quite the high: excellent production set in a major key and positive vibes where there’s totally no “fuck-shit.”

“Ain’t no tellin what I’m finna be on
I’m beyond all that fuck shit...”

“Broccoli” previously appeared on the playlist, The High is Real on These 13 ‘High-Flying’ Anthems.

2. Matt Lucas, “Thank You Baked Potato” 🥔

“Thank You Baked Potato” • Loudmouth Music Ltd • 2020

“Baked Potato changed my life / Baked Potato showed me the way / If you want to know what is wrong from right / You must listen to what Potato say…” Okay… I totally heart baked potatoes, but I’m not sure that I’ve ever listened to one… ha-ha! If you are willing to spare just a little more than a minute of your time, you can hear a novel coronavirus song.  Seems fitting for such a novel, unpredictable virus, right? Anyways, that song, my friends, is none other than “Thank You Baked Potato” 🥔 …yeah.  “Thank You Baked Potato” arrives courtesy of English comedian Matt Lucas, and it is indeed a ‘sight to hear’… It’s a reworked version of his famous classic, with proceeds going towards FeedNHS.

“Baked Potato” is infectious and lighthearted in a time where everyone in the world needs more of that.  Set in a major key, Matt Lucas and his baked potato give advice for being safe during COVID-19.  After the opening verse, excerpted above, that sound advice is given in an entertaining fashion on the chorus, before the outro celebrates – you guessed it – Baked Potato:

“Wash your hands and stay indoors
Only go to grocery stores
...Keep your distance, make some space
Remember not to touch your face...”

To quote an Alice in Wonderland song, that’s “Very Good Advice”. “Thank You Baked Potato” previously graced Songs That Capture & Embody the Pandemic, Vol. 3, as well as earning a spot on the ‘brief’ playlist, 15 Colorful Songs, Approximately Two Minutes or Less.

3. Schoolboy Q, “Collard Greens” 🥬

Ft. Kendrick Lamar

Oxymoron • Interscope • 2014

“Kush be my fragrance, we love marijuana / Function on fire, burn the roof of this motherfucker.” From the opening groove to the gimmicky, infectious chorus, “Collard Greens” 🥬  is quite distinct.  It’s also quite high, as in high-flying, or better yet, flying high if you catch my drift. If you don’t, let me just break this shit down for you. ScHoolboy Q isn’t rapping about a delightful southern dish! Save that for the forthcoming entrée section! He’s rapping about weed… kush… ganja… marijuana!

“Oh, oh luxury
Chidi-chidi-ching could buy anything, cop that
Oh, oh, collard greens
Three degrees low, make it hot for me drop that.”

With an ideal tone and compelling flow, ScHoolboy Q is on autopilot on the standout of his 2014 album, Oxymoron. Kendrick Lamar captivates on the second verse, providing Spanish and gun sound effects among many other things.  Stoners can relate to the high of “Collard Greens,” as well as rap enthusiasts who don’t partake of wacky tobaccy. “Collard Greens” previously appeared on the playlist, The High is Real on These 13 ‘High-Flying’ Anthems.

IV. Entrée/ Main Course (pt. i) 🌮 🥓 🍜

1. Migos, “Taco Tuesday” 🌮

“Taco Tuesday” • Quality Control Music • 2020

May 5^th is always Cinco de Mayo.  May 5^th, 2020 just happened to be a Tuesday in addition to being Cinco de Mayo.  Tuesdays aren’t only terrific, but they are also Taco Tuesdays!  Okay, so with that background, its set up Migos’ brief “Taco Tuesday”  🌮 , released on Cinco de Mayo 2020, which happened to be a – wait for it – Tuesday!!! TIME TO EAT – DINNER IS SERVED!

“Taco Tuesday” runs just north of a minute-and-a-half, fitting its previous list, 15 Colorful Songs, Approximately Two Minutes or Less perfectly.  Yeah, that’s not much song but it’s enough for Migos to work with.  “Taco Tuesday” features banging production by DJ Durel, characterized by its knocking beat, repetitive synths, and organ (at least that’s what the patch sounds like).

Also, worth mentioning, LeBron James appears on the intro, celebrating his love for tacos:

“Pretty down night right now
Psych, ‘cause it’s Taco Tuesday
What is it? Taco Tuesday.”

Quavo, who provides a couple of ad-libs during the intro, then follows up with the chorus.  Fittingly, it’s taco-driven, but also ‘street’ you might say:

“Taco Tuesday, I got the cheese, she tastin’ the Kool-Aid
Migo the plug, Guadalupe
She gon’ do what the group say, comprende
Caliente
She get the bag, but she gotta get it ten ways
Okay, now ándele, ándele
We can elevate.”

Offset and Takeoff deliver two consecutive verses.  Offset thinks with his pants (“She want Perc’ ‘fore she take off her skirt / Put in work, put your name on her skirt”) while Takeoff does at least mention tacos, though there’s also “Fuckin’ with a bad vibe and she go both ways.” Brief, “Taco Tuesday” is definitely entertaining, even if it fails to be game changing.  Also, worth noting, on Culture II, Migos served up some delicious “Stir Fry”, which appeared among the 100 Best Songs of 2018.

2. Nick Jonas, “Bacon” 🥓

Ft. Ty Dolla $ign

Last Year Was Complicated • Island • 2016

Maybe we don’t associate bacon as being a main course, but everybody knows that bacon is the 💩 – you can’t go wrong with it.  Furthermore, for all you vegans out there, Morning Star sells vegetarian bacon.  No, it doesn’t capture the glory of the real thing, but it’s pretty good if I do say so myself.  Refocusing though, the fourth section of TIME TO EAT – DINNER IS SERVED! allows us to feature the totally awesome Nick Jonas gem, “Bacon” 🥓 , featuring Ty Dolla $ign, which hails from his 2016 album, Last Year Was Complicated.

“Pretty mind, silk thoughts / Start a fire when you turn the lights off / Oh my, my God / When he made you, he did a fine job.”  Okay, so, this lyric has nothing to do with the scrumptious food associated with breakfast most often, yet, can be chowed upon at any time.  Obviously, Nick makes reference to the cooking that’s occurring in the bedroom as opposed to the kitchen – a different kind of bacon, perhaps.  Honestly, he only makes one legit reference to bacon, and that’s the incredibly infectious, swagger-filled chorus: 

“Late nights, doing what I wanna do
I got sleep eyes; I woke up like this
Feelin’ like, aw shit, throw some bacon on it
One thing I love more than being with you
And that’s no ties, no drama in my life
Yeah, I, woke up like this
Feelin’ like, aw shit, throw some bacon on it
One thing I love more than being with you.”

So, the takeaway here? Nick seems to enjoy his freedom, without that BS known as drama, and at least he shouts out bacon in a totally awesome way.

3.Fantasia, “Collard Greens & Cornbread” 🥬   🌽🍞

Back to Me • 19 Recordings • 2010

So, for “Collard Greens & Cornbread” 🥬   🌽🍞,  we take it back to the beginning of the 2010s.  That’s right, folks.  “Collard Greens & Cornbread” appeared on Back to Me, the third studio album by Grammy-winning, Season 3 American Idol winner, Fantasia.  Actually, Fantasia won her sole Grammy to date for the song “Bittersweet” from this album, after earning numerous nominations throughout the aughts from Free Yourself (2004) and Fantasia (2006). So, enough background, let’s get into this unapologetic southern, soul fool, shall we?

“Collard Greens & Cornbread” features superb, soulful production work here.  Of course, it pays big dividends when your sample is a Marvin Gaye/Tammi Terrell gem (“Your Precious Love”).  Fantasia definitely sounds inspired, delivering exceptional vocals, phenomenal ad-libs, and a boatload of personality. The songwriting is feisty, playing off like a soap opera.  “Tomorrow, you might hate me and find somebody new,” she sings on the first verse, continuing, “But today, I’m with you / Ain’t that some love?” Of course, the centerpiece is the collard green and cornbread referencing chorus, because, hey, that’s really the only reason this song appears on TIME TO EAT – DINNER IS SERVED!

“Oh, I ain’t gon’ lie, boy you got me out of my mind in L.O.V.E
I go crazy when you love me
Got me acting a mess
Even got the nerve to say I’m better than my momma
Collard greens and cornbread, yeah
Oh, collard greens and cornbread, yeah.”

IV. Entrée/ Main Course (pt. ii) 🌮 🥓 🍜

4. Anthony Hamilton, “Cornbread, Fish & Collard Greens” 🌽🍞  🐟   🥬    

Comin’ From Where I’m From • RCA • 2003

Ah, Fantasia wasn’t the only southern R&B artist talking about some cornbread and some collards! In fact, seven years prior, Grammy-winner Anthony Hamilton even added ‘fish’ to the mix on his 2003 single, “Cornbread, Fish & Collard Greens” 🌽🍞  🐟   🥬 .  R&B definitely had a different sound in the early aughts, but still, a funky, neo-soul song that references food is novel to say the least. Hamilton got much more love for the biggest hit of career, “Charlene”.  “Charlene,” more than anything, helped propel Comin’ From Where I’m From from a modest no. 33 debut on the Billboard 200, to RIAA platinum certification.

“I knew just what I had to be / When I heard you say what you said to me / To every dude in sight / Look like you working up an appetite for the night, check it.” Hmm, so clearly, “Cornbread, Fish & Collard Greens” isn’t really about a sick southern meal filled with fat and calories, but rather, sex.  This girl is trouble, and Anthony knows it, hence why he says, “Best off being a friend to me… Don’t know what I might do.” The keyword there, of course, being ‘do.’ One of the best lines from the song occurs on the second verse, where Hamilton spots her game without a hitch:

“Now tell me do you really think
You can walk around like your shit don’t stink
I’m on to you
Oh, baby girl, I’m on to you (I’m watching you).”

So, she’s totally got these guys thinking with their pants, and while Anthony is woke to it, I’m definitely not convinced he won’t indulge.  The chorus, my friends, is where the food comes into play:

“Cornbread, fish, and collard greens
I’ve got what you need
If you want it (cause I’m a pimp, babe)
If you want it (I’m a pimp, girl)
Cornbread, fish, and collard greens
I got what you need (what you need)
If you want it (I can rock your world)
If you want it (I’m bigger juice than Jheri curl).”

Hmm, just wonder how big the juice is, Anthony…

5. Zac Brown Band, “Chicken Fried” 🍗🍗🍗

The Foundation • Home Grown Music • 2008

So, except for Nick Jonas and his affinity for bacon, the musicians have all been southern during the Entrée, Main Course portion of TIME TO EAT – DINNER IS SERVED!  No need to change now – let’s just move beyond collards, cornbread, and fish, shall we? So, we go for a southern favorite that is NOT a stereotype – fried chicken.  You can’t have soul food and not have fried chicken – take it from a lifelong southerner.  And of course, Zac Brown Band knows this well, hence, “Chicken Fried” 🍗 🍗 🍗.

Like most of the musicians on this list, Zac Brown Band doesn’t dwell on the food, which in this case, is fried chicken.  Instead, on “Chicken Fried,” Brown references southern life, particularly in Georgia.  Brown sings about “The shade of a Georgia Pine,” “Sweet tea, pecan pie, and homemade wine where the peaches grow,” and of course, patriotic spirit:

“I thank God for my life
And for the stars and stripes
May freedom forever fly, let it ring.”

6. Kelis, “Jerk Ribs” 🥩

Food • Ninja Tune • 2014

We end with one final main course: jerk ribs.  Those “Jerk Ribs” 🥩 come courtesy of Kelis via her 2014 album, Food.  Yes, if you are looking for some additional nourishment, you should totally check out the album released via Ninja Tune.  In addition to “Jerk Ribs,” Kelis serves up “Breakfast,” “Cobbler,” “Friday Fish Fry,” and “Biscuits n’ Gravy.” All of that sounds delicious, but we’ll focus on those ribs!

“Jerk Ribs” sports an old-school sound and is propelled by an addictive groove.  The record is both sexy and soulful.  Kelis consistently reiterates lyrics, “So call on me, it feels just like it should,” which feels like there’s going to be some ‘one-on-one’ fun.  That said, there is a paternal aspect that runs deeper than any sexual innuendo:

“In Harlem, where I start to breathe
Your beat was like a soundtrack to me
I was the girl, my daddy was the world
He played the notes and key
He said to look for melody in everything.”

Also, the way that the music is described so poetically is worth noting as well.

“The bass vibrates right through me
The brass, the strings; I love everything
Have fun playing, forget the time, and keep staying.”

V. Dessert (pt. i) 🍪 🎂 🥧

1. Lady Gaga & BLACKPINK, “Sour Candy” 🍬 

Chromatica • Interscope • 2020

“I’m sour candy / So sweet, then I get a little angry, yeah /Sour candy, yeah, yeah, yeah…” We begin the desserts section of TIME TO EAT – DINNER IS SERVED!  with some light sweets you might say.  Candy commences the post-main course, specifically “Sour Candy”  🍬 , courtesy of Lady Gaga and South Korean girl group, BLACKPINK.  The standout appears on Chromatica, the sixth studio album by the Academy- and Grammy award winning musician.  Chromatica is dessert in its own right, marking Lady Gaga’s best album since Born This Way (2011).

“I’m hard on the outside / But if you give me the time / Then I could make time for your love / I’m hard on the outside / But if you see inside, inside, inside…” “Sour Candy” yields positive results – nothing sour in the least! Why is it such a success? Light in calories it may be compared to cookies, cakes, or pies, it’s still rich in sugar given the outlandish nature and artistry of Gaga, the personality exhibited by BLACKPINK, the millionth catchy chorus of the album itself, and superb production.  BloodPop® and BURNS do a fine job constructing this ‘sweet,’ modern, electro-pop banger.

“Come, come, unwrap me
I’ll show you what’s me
Close your eyes, don’t peek
Now, I’m undressing
Unwrap sour candy.”

OF course, the lyrics, as aforementioned are quite playful.  There’s clearly some sexual innuendo in play, but neither Lady Gaga nor BLACKPINK take things too far.  Ultimately, “Sour Candy” is incredibly fun.

2. Lil Wayne, “Lollipop” 🍭

Ft. Static Major

Tha Carter III • Cash Money • 2008

“I said, he’s so sweet, make her wanna lick the wrapper / So I let her lick the rapper.” Despite its age (more than a decade old), former no. 1 Billboard Hot hit, “Lollipop”  🍭  remains potent.  Lil Wayne had a tremendous year in 2008 with his awesome, Grammy-winning LP, Tha Carter III.  The album was jam-packed with hit after hit, with “Lollipop” leading the charge. Sadly, this was a posthumous release for Kentucky rapper, singer, producer, and songwriter Static Major, who died at age 33, two weeks before the record was released.  As a lifelong Kentuckian, it’s always awesome when you see a musician from state appear on a record as big as “Lollipop” was.

Of course, while a “Lollipop” is light dessert at best (I don’t consider it dessert, but to each his own), it’s certainly a richer, more decadent sweet in the hands of Lil Wayne. Weezy is what makes “Lollipop” so steamy, as he’s sexed TF up.  He certainly isn’t talking about ladies licking candy, but rather his ‘Lil Wayne’ – or perhaps big ‘Lil Wayne’ – okay, TMI… “Lollipop” is one of the catchiest rap songs about sex that you’ll ever hear. Static Major is responsible for the timeless hook:

“Shawty want a thug
Bottles in the club
Shawty wanna hump
You know I love to touch ya lovely lady lumps.”

3. R. Kelly, “Cookie” 🍪

Black Panties • RCA • 2013

“You wonder how I’m the best and can do all this with my mouth? /…My bed can be your stage / And I’mma make you a star / Your legs in the air and my hands all up in your cookie jar.” Moments like “Cookie” 🍪  certainly provide further fuel to the fire as to why R. Kelly has been muted, damning sexual abuse allegations or not. After hearing “Cookie,” mark my words – you’ll never think of Oreos the same. No, they will never ever be the innocent, decadent cookies because the self-proclaimed ‘sex genius’ ruined it for everybody. They’ve become a sexual, representation of the lustfulness of R. Kelly. He even goes so far that he screws up an innocent childhood character – Cookie Monster from Sesame Street: “Cookie, cookie, cookie, I’m a cookie monster.”

Holy 💩, R – not cookie monster bruh! Take your pick of naughtiness, but it all seems to come back to genitals, honestly.

“Mmm, like an Oreo
I love to lick the middle like an Oreo
Oreo, Oreo, like an Oreo
I wanna bite it and get inside it (‘til I get you gone).”

“Cookie” appears on the 2013 album Black Panties, which features multiple instance of Kelly’s overindulgence into sex. The opening song, “Legs Shakin’” (featuring Ludacris), references cunnilingus…. ‘course, so does “Cookie,” sigh.  Shamefully, “Cookie” has appeared on multiple  playlists: 15 Songs That Focus on Private Matters; 11 Songs Where It Gets Steamy II; 12 Songs Where R. Kelly Took Innuendo Too Far; 20 Songs All About ‘Doin’ It’.

V. Dessert (pt. ii) 🍪 🎂 🥧

4. Future, “PIE” 🥧

Ft. Chris Brown

HNDRXX • Epic • 2017

Future and Chris Brown. Yep, that’s two good ones together.  The two collaborate on “PIE” 🥧, which can now be found as the 18^th track on Future’s second album of 2017, HNDRXX.  If you were expecting sweetness by way of taste, well, you’ll be sadly disappointed. The resulting song is one that is quite sexual and drenched in vocal effects. “PIE” is certainly enjoyable but let’s be clear, Future and Chris Brown are definitely more American Pie in mindset – think that infamous apple pie scene.

The chorus is incredibly catchy, if utterly tasteless:

“I turn the side piece to a 9 piece
She out lying it shouldn’t even matter, she mine
I told her baby, fuck it up, one time
Ba-baby, fuck it up one time.”

The M.O. is sex, sex, sex… Brown takes the first verse, spitting mad game, referencing sex, drugs, and money.  He remains true to his bad boy persona, never breaking character.

“Baby, fuck it up
It’s your birthday, go ‘head, put that cake on me...
I’ve been leanin’ all day, I’m faded
And she been feignin’ all day but can’t take dick.”

Future keeps his “eye on the prize” throughout his verse and respective contributions as well.

“Gassing up on lean and good Percs
Lap dance getting pie on my t-shirt
She know how to fuck, yeah
She ain’t looking for true love here.”

For Future, it’s all excess.  Meaningless sex, drugs providing a high, and no sense of permanence or transcendence.  Examined sans judgement or moral compass, “PIE” is a hit. Truly, everybody loves pie – all kinds of pies.  But the messaging is, well, shameful.

5. DNCE, “Cake by the Ocean” 🎂  🌊

DNCE • Republic • 2016

“God damn / See you licking frosting from your own hand / Want another taste, I’m begging, yes ma’am / I’m tired of all this candy on the dry land, dry land.” Frosting, huh?  Is that what they call it these days? “Cake by the Ocean” arrives courtesy of the Joe Jonas-led pop collective, DNCE.  Breakout hit “Cake by the Ocean”🎂  🌊  is among the most entertaining, fun, and carefree songs of the 10s.

Even so, the fun served up on “Cake by the Ocean” is fueled by mad innuendo.  Can you say sex? Safe to say, the metaphor is extended on “Cake.” At one point, Jonas describes her as being “fucking delicious” in an ad-lib.  The same sentiment could be said about “Cake by the Ocean” – it’s a truly infectious, highly suggestive gem.

“Talk to me, baby
I’m going blind from this sweet, sweet craving, whoa-oh
Let’s lose our minds and go fucking crazy
Ah ya ya ya ya I
Keep on hopin’ we’ll eat cake by the ocean.”

“Cake by the Ocean” has previously graced Mad Innuendo, 2015 and Beyond and  13 Songs That Reference Water, Vol. 1.

6. Rihanna, “Birthday Cake” 🎂

Talk That Talk • Def Jam • 2011

Ah, we close things out with birthday cake, although, we know that Rihanna definitely isn’t referencing the delicious dessert that is a tradition at many birthday parties on “Birthday Cake” 🎂 .  No, Rihanna’s “Birthday Cake” is all about what’s going down in the bedroom.  Sex, sex, and more sex.  The case(s) in point – “Come and put your name on it,” “But he wanna lick the icing off,” and “I know you want to bite this.”  Even though the song had little to do with a traditional birthday party, we included the song on 15 Must-Hear Songs to Celebrate Your Birthday.  And let’s keep it real, many would enjoy what Ri-Ri is serving up on “Birthday Cake.”

To reiterate, in no way, shape, or form is Rihanna talking about actual birthday cake – period! Yes, it’s customary to decorate birthday cake by ‘putting your name on it,’ but when Rihanna sings the line, she isn’t talking about icing… How does anyone who may be the slightest bit naïve of sexual innuendo and double entendre get this? Rihanna helps us out: “It’s not even my birthday / But he wanna lick the icing off…” Come on! – No pun intended.  Throughout the course of about one-minute-and-twenty-seconds, also featured on 15 Colorful Songs, Approximately Two Minutes or Less, Rihanna amplifies ‘S meets E, and then they X’ really, REALLY, loudly.  This Talk That Talk gem literally screams orgasm.