Dress | 5ive Songs

1. Beyoncé, “Freakum Dress”

💿 B’Day • 🏷 Sony • 📅 2006

“When you been with your man for a long time, oh / Every now and then, you gotta go in the back of the closet / And pull out that freakum dress.” Ooh wee! 🏆 Grammy darling 🎙Beyoncé had the gargantuan task of following up a massively successful debut, 💿 Dangerously in Love (2003).  Ultimately, it seemed to faze Queen Bey little considering 💿 B’Day (2006) proved to be another spectacular album – hits and hits for days.  One of the best – the crème de la crème – was the sexed-up 🎵 “Freakum Dress.” Bey produced this banger alongside 🎛 Rich Harrison, who had a successful production run in the aughts, including another notable Bey smash, 🎵 “Crazy in Love”.

On “Freakum Dress,” Beyoncé is pissed TF off at her man.  “Been locked up in the house way too long / It’s time to get it,” she asserts on the first verse, continuing, “‘Cause once again he’s out doing wrong /… He’s been acting up / But he won’t be the only one.” Oh shit! – I meant old sugar foot – ‘25¢ in the cuss jar!’  Anyways, Yoncé’s plan is to “Put [her] freakum dress on” and ultimately, get her man in check.  “Soon as he saw me / Turned on by how the dress was fittin’ right,” she sings on the second verse.  She goes on to say, that he “Keep tellin’ me how my outfit’s so nice / Little did he know / Ha, my man gon’ take it off tonight.” Woo!

2. Lana Del Rey, “White Dress”

💿 Chemtrails Over the Country Club • 🏷 Interscope • 📅 2021

From the start, it’s clear that 💿 Chemtrails Over the Country Club, the seventh album by 🏆Grammy-nominated alternative pop singer/songwriter 🎙 Lana Del Rey, is set to be more stripped and subtle compared to her past albums. 🎵 “White Dress” commences mysteriously, which isn’t far-fetched for Del Rey.  That said, vocally, she’s hypnotic, blessing us with her refined, breathy upper register.  It’s incredibly easy to lean on her every note given how magical the performance is, backed by rhythmic piano with otherwise restrained instrumentation in the mix.

Besides the top-notch vocals, the songwriting is sweet too.  What truly stands out is the reminiscent, narrative nature or this record, as evidenced below:

“When I was a waitress wearing a white dress
Look how I do this, look how I got this
I was a waitress working the night shift
You were my man, felt like I got this.”

Classic Lana, and we wouldn’t have it any other way!

3. Smog, “Dress Sexy at My Funeral”

💿 Dongs of Sevotion • 🏷 Drag City, Inc. • 📅 2000

“Dress sexy at my funeral my good wife / For the first time in your life.” Um, okay 🎙 Bill Callahan… I find it interesting that she’s never dressed sexy before the demise of her husband, but we’ll roll with it! Callahan and band, 🎙 Smog delivered a surefire indie classic back in 2000 with 🎵 “Dress Sexy at My Funeral.”  That title catches attention, as does the song itself, which hails from 💿 Dongs of Sevotion.  Dongs of Devotion, huh? Creative to the nth degree.

Of course, front man and brainchild Callahan doesn’t merely stop at a vague statement like “dress sexy” – he provides some details! “Wear your blouse undone to here / And your skirt up slit up to there.” Okay, he’s still not nearly as explicit as the pop, rap and R&B of the 2020s, but we see where he’s going! He goes on to provide more details about the home-going experience, which includes “Wink at the minister / Blow kisses to my grieving brothers” and even more colorfully, urging his widow to “Tell them [the crowd] about the time we did it / On the beach with fireworks above us.”  He goes further with the story, but you get the idea that Callahan doesn’t want the traditional, sad occasion when his number is called. I feel that.

4. Taylor Swift, “Dress”

💿 Reputation • 🏷 Big Machine • 📅 2017

🎙 Taylor Swift gets sexy on “Dress.” We don’t typically associate Swift with sexiness where her music is concerned, even though she’s attractive and encompasses love throughout her music.  Regardless, on “Dress,” the sexiness is unveiled!

“Only bought this dress so you could take it off / Take it off, o-o-off.” Prior to 💿 reputation, the 🏆 Grammy winning superstar had never been so overt.  At the same time, no reason whatsoever to overreact or over sensationalize. Yeah, she’s being suggestive, but she does so without crossing any lines. She’s much classier than many contemporaries. Furthermore, if she wants to be sexy, who’s to stop her, right?

“And if I get burned, at least we were electrified
I’m spilling wine in the bathtub
You kiss my face and we’re both drunk
Everyone thinks that they know us
But they know nothing about –”

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5. Kanye West, “Devil in a New Dress”

Ft. Rick Ross

💿 My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy • 🏷 UMG Recordings, Inc. • 📅 2010

🎙Kanye West is one of the most polarizing celebrities of our time, and it’s not debatable.  That said, as a musician, while I don’t want to stroke his ego, he’s great at his craft.  The 🏆 22 Grammys speak for themselves. There’s a reason why nearly 20 years after 💿 The College Dropout arrived, we’re still excited and disappointed when he announces and album and ALWAYS misses the release date.  One of the finest albums in West’s illustrious discography is 💿 My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, released in 2010.  Among the best songs from that incredible LP is 🎵 “Devil in a New Dress” featuring rapper 🎙 Rick Ross.

“Devil in a New Dress” is Kanye West flexing, period.  By flexing, I mean, this is the quintessential Mr. West bop.  The production (🎛 Bink! And 🎛 Mike Dean) is superb, anchored by an old-school, soul sample (🎵 “Will You Love Me Tomorrow?” by 🎙 Smokey Robinson).  This gives “Devil in a New Dress” a classic sound.  Both West (“Don’t leave while you’re hot, that’s how Mase screwed up / … Maybe I should call Mase so he could pray for us”) and Rick Ross (“I shed a tear before the night’s over / God bless the man I put this ice over”) drop stellar rhymes, riding the refreshing, retro backdrop like champs.  Also, worth noting, there’s a respectable chorus by West, as well as an extended instrumental interlude between the West chorus and the third verse, performed by Ross.