19 Songs That Reference Coming Out 🌈| Playlist 🎧

1. Diana Ross, “I’m Coming Out”

Diana • Motown • 1980

Folks, let’s start this list off right: “I’m coming out / I want the world to know / I got to let it show.” Three words come to mind when the 1980 Diana Ross dance/disco/funk/pop/R&B classic “I’m Coming Out” is mentioned: ICONIC GAY ANTHEM.  The thing is, with the gem from Diana, you honestly don’t have to be a member of the LGBTQ+ community to appreciate the positive, uplifting vibes, not to mention the sheer funkiness of the record itself.  The big takeaway for anybody from this superb Bernard Edwards and Nile Rodgers co-write /co-production is exuding confidence without holding back or showing the least bit of fear.  This is all about being fearless – living unapologetically without suppression.

On the first verse, Diana Ross sums up the liberation perfectly:

“There’s a new me coming out
And I just had to live…
I think this time around
I am gonna do it…
The time has come for me
To break out of this shell
I have to shout
That I am coming out.”

Apparently, a visit to a gay club by Nile Rodgers inspired the song.  Also, Rodgers “fibbed a little to a skittish Ross” regarding the song.  Regardless, it’s no secret that Diana Ross had a sizable gay following.  Furthermore, whether one takes “I’m Coming Out” at its most literal, or more metaphorically, It is an incredibly positive song free of limitations.

2-3. Clairo, “Softly” & “Sofia”

Immunity • Fader • 2019

“Didn’t mean to get so close / And I know I should probably go / But I got this feeling / Tell me girl, I gotta know.” Love is entrenched in Immunity, the debut album by alternative pop artist Clairo (Claire Cottrill). However, “Softly,” the first of a ‘two-for-one deal,’ adds another wrinkle – coming out.  More and more frequently, LGBTQ+ elements have appeared in popular music.  Clairo joins a group of musicians being true to self and sharing her journey.  Perhaps the most powerful statement comes at the end of the song on the outro: “And I don’t care what they say / … Baby, I’m doing it differently.”

'sofia' is about my first ever crushes on women i saw in the media. people like sofia coppola, sofia vergara, etc. this was my way of making a celebratory song about this discovery while maintaining the cheesy/corny lyrics you'd normally find in songs where you profess your love

— claire cottrill (@clairo) July 26, 2019

Excellent, groovy follow-up “Sofia” continues finding Clairo embracing her sexuality without the least bit of shame.  Honestly, “Sofia” moves from ‘questioning’ to ‘confirmation’ and ownership… for the most part that is. “Sofia, know that you and I / Shouldn’t feel like a crime,” she sings at the end of the chorus. Notably, Clairo tweeted about the meaning of “Sofia,” stating “‘Sofia’ is about my first ever crushes on women in the media. People like Sofia Coppola, Sofia Vergara, etc.,” as well as speaking about “internalized feelings about sexuality.”

4. Scissor Sisters, “Take Your Mama”

Scissor Sisters • Polydor • 2004

“Gonna take your mama out all night / Yeah, we’ll show her what it’s all about / We’ll get her jacked up on some cheap champagne / We’ll let the good times all roll out… / Because the dancers don’t mind at the New Orleans…” Scissor Sisters’ “Take Your Mama” is older than the rest of the songs on this playlist, hence a reason why it was excluded from the Totally Awesome LGBTQ Songs Beaming with Pride, which focused mostly on the most contemporary LGBTQ songs.  That said, this monumental debut single Jake Shears and company is a must-hear, period.

On “Take Your Mama,” Shears sings about being gay, having to pretend to be straight, and the effects it has on his mother. Keep in mind, back in 2004, pop music wasn’t nearly as progressive in regard to sexuality as it is now. Interestingly, in this anthem about coming out, Shears’ mama is being taken to a gay bathhouse/club on the hella catchy chorus.  Given the songs original appearance on the 15 Songs That Focus on Mama playlist, it feels appropriate to say, Happy Mother’s Day!

5-6. Cub Sport, “Come Out” & “Party Pill”

Cub Sport • Cub Sport • 2019

Australian alt-pop collective Cub Sport (Tim Nelson, Dan Puusaari, Sam Netterfield, and Zoe Davis) returned in 2019 with their self-titled, third studio album.  Cub Sport certainly doesn’t disappoint, particularly incorporating the process of coming to terms with sexuality and falling in love. “Come Out” is among the biggest moments of the album, finding Nelson addressing his sexuality (“Yeah, I came out and I felt fucking free”). That said, Nelson makes it clear that sexuality isn’t the only thing he struggled with, continuing on the second verse, “But there’s more I keep inside of me.” Interestingly, on the bridge, he reveals some of his struggles (“I struggle with my body and my mind from time to time”).

“I think I’m gonna love you for a long time
Boy, I can’t go a minute without you on my mind.”

“Party Pill” continues the progression that Cub Sport showcases throughout Cub Sport. On “Party Pill,” Tim Nelson describes falling in love for the first time and working toward acceptance and embracement of the reality.  This is the perfect record for someone questioning, or who has questioned their sexuality; it’s quite relatable and authentic to the nth degree.  In the context of Cub Sport, it’s yet another masterfully performed, produced, and written gem. Arguably, “Party Pill” is the crowning achievement and easily among the best songs of 2019 that many folks have never heard.

Both “Come Out” and “Party Pill” previously appeared on the gargantuan, pride-filled playlist, Totally Awesome LGBTQ Songs Beaming with Pride. “Party Pill” previously earned a spot on the 50 Best Songs of 2019 (So Far) playlist.

7. Melissa Etheridge, “Come to My Window”

Yes I Am • Island Def Jam • 1993

“Come to my window / Crawl inside / Wait by the light of the moon / Come to my window / I’ll be home soon.”  Sometimes, lovers are forced to sneak around – their bond or relationship can’t be out in the open at that given time.  This happens with affairs obviously, but it can also occur with different types of relationships – non-heterosexual relationships… same-sex relationships. See where I’m going with this?

The phrase, “Come to my window” is obviously the key phrase from the Melissa Etheridge classic, “Come to my Window” from her 1993 album, Yes I Am.  The title, Yes I Am, served as affirmation of Etheridge’s sexuality as a lesbian. The song itself, is about a same-sex relationship, but keeps things simple without explicit details.  Honestly, it’s an awesome rock record that doesn’t need additional details.  With so much made of the titular lyric, arguably, the bridge of this Grammy-winning record solidifies the record’s spot on this ‘coming out’ playlist:

“I don’t care what they think
I don’t care what they say
What do they know about this love
Anyway.”

8-9. Ryan Beatty, “Camo” & “Cupid”

Boy in Jeans • Boy in Jeans • 2018

“Camo print depression / I keep my feelings hidden / No pills, no thrills / I’m not used to winning / But that’s life, that’s life.” Openly gay rising pop artist Ryan Beatty is honest about love and sex throughout the course of his stellar, underrated debut album, Boy in Jeans. Boy in Jeans is an eclectic album, encompassing pop, R&B, and a dash of alternative. Clearly, he has knack for writing love songs about boys.  Also, he knows how to express his feelings, as he does superbly on the set’s second single, “Camo”. As the aforementioned lyrical excerpt suggests, as a teen, Beatty tried to ‘blend in’ – play it straight if you will – despite being gay. Obviously, this affected him mentally, before living his truth.

In addition to the theme of the record, “Camo” benefits from fresh production that’s mysterious, slick, and urban-tinged.  The beat helps “Camo” to stay afloat with its driving rhythm.  Beyond the superb backdrop fueling him, Beatty sounds absolutely terrific.  He blesses the track with a mixture of compelling, mid-range tenor and sweet falsetto. The results are a quirky, yet incredibly intriguing and personal record. “Camo” appears numerous playlists, including 13 Awesome Songs That Highlight Mental Health, 15 Songs That Center Around Sadness & Depression, and Totally Awesome LGBTQ Songs Beaming with Pride.

On “Cupid”, Ryan Beatty sings to a high school, closeted boy crush – well, we assume that’s the case. “Camo” deals with Beatty’s own sadness of being closeted essentially, while “Cupid” finds him connecting with a boy who (1) could be straight or (2) hasn’t come out and (3) has a girlfriend.  Regardless, from Beatty’s perspective, he at least hopes he’ll eventually come out you might say.

“And when we get older
And y’all break up someday
And this is not a secret
Maybe then you’ll say you love me back
But until then I’ll be dreaming about that.”

Filled with vocals featuring unique effects, he begins addressing his desires:

“He’s the only one on my mind
He’s the only one I call when I’m feeling reckless
Tell me that you’re mine.”

The second verse is particularly telling:

“Press your lips against my neck
With me you don’t pretend like you’re with your girlfriend
She’s nice but she’s not me
She’s nice but hates me
Date me, I’m just playing
Didn’t mean to say that…
But if you’re down, so am I
I can’t lie.”

“Cupid,” like “Camo,” has appeared on multiple playlists, including 15 Songs Where Guys Sing About Guys, 11 Awesome Valentine Songs for Every Day of the Year, and of course, Totally Awesome LGBTQ Songs Beaming with Pride.

10. Sara Bareilles, “Brave”

The Blessed Unrest • Epic • 2013

“And since your history of silence / Won’t do you any good / Did you think it would? / Let your words be anything but empty / Why don’t you tell them the truth.” “Brave” (The Blessed Unrest) is arguably the most inspirational songs on this list.  It was specifically written about coming out.  It’s not about Sara Bareilles coming out, but a friend, according to The Huffington Post. Regardless, it’s an anthem applicable to any number of situations.

“Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly, I wanna see you be brave.”

Beyond the aforementioned chorus, the verses yield their own fair share of uplifting, empowering lyrics of overcoming adversity:

“Everybody’s been there
Everybody’s been stared down by the enemy
Fallen for the fear
And done some disappearing… maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is.”

“Brave” previously appeared on the playlist, Totally Awesome LGBTQ Songs Beaming with Pride.

11-12. Years & Years, “Sanctify” & “Preacher”

Palo Santo • Polydor • 2018

British electro-pop band Years & Years brilliantly fuses sexuality and spirituality on “Sanctify”, the promo single from their 2018 album, Palo Santo. The production is bright, despite being set in a minor key (there are some major moments). Anchored by a beat fit for any hip-hop record, plus fine keyboard/synth work, the backdrop sets up Y&Y for a surefire bop.  Adding to the glory, frontman Olly Alexander delivers exuberant, expressive vocals, filled with authenticity.

The chorus is the centerpiece, but there are numerous notable lyrics, including the following excerpt with a double meaning:

“You don’t have to be straight with me
I see what’s underneath your mask
I’m a man like you, I breathe the rituals of the dancer’s dance…”

The “straight” lyric is key, as Alexander, who is gay, was inspired with experiences with straight guys.  In the linked article from Attitude, Olly asserts said straight guys were “struggling with their sexuality.” He touches upon issues of masculinity in regard to sexuality. “Sanctify,” hence, is a superb addition to the LGBTQ repertoire, as well as socially-conscious music overall.

“Sanctify” is one of many songs on Palo Santo that explore sexuality and reference coming out or a lack thereof. “But you’re hiding, yeah, you’re hiding / You should come on out,” Olly Alexander sings on “Preacher.” A ‘preacher’ is instantly associated with religion, but “Preacher” encompasses social and sexual themes, in addition to spiritual matters. Alexander urges his love interest to live his truth as opposed to lying about his sexuality. On the chorus, he sings:

“He’s a preacher, but he’s preaching a lie
… I’m a creature with a fever so high
… And my temptation, you can’t escape it
God, baby, take me tonight.”

Given the secular nature of this ‘preacher’ song, which appeared on 11 Secular Songs About Praying, Preaching & Baptism, you probably shouldn’t play it in church…

13. Bronski Beat, “Smalltown Boy”

The Age of Consent • London Music Stream Ltd. • 1984

“Mother will never understand why you had to leave / But the answers you seek will never be found at home / the love that you need will never be found at home.” Those lyrics from “Smalltown Boy,” a hit by English synth-pop trio Bronski Beat, are quite relatable, regardless of how one identifies sexually.  That said, Jimmy Somerville, Steve Bronksi, and Larry Steinbachek definitely gave the LGBTQ population a voice decades before LGBTQ themes would truly thrive in popular music.  The five-minute classic appears as the sixth track on the band’s 1984 album, The Age of Consent.

“Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away.”  Ah, that gem of a chorus sounds like a total missed opportunity from 13 Songs That Feature Elements of Escapism.  The thing is, Somerville and company definitely have a legit reason to be running and turning away – the mistreatment and persecution of gays.  Essentially, the song speaks of not being able to live your truth.  “Pushed around and kicked around, always a lonely boy,” Somerville sings, continuing, “You were the one that they’d talk about around town as they put you down.” Later, he adds, “But you never cried to them, just to your soul,” before later discouraging the suppression, “Cry, boy, cry.” In this case, in order to ‘come out’ and live life freely, the ‘small-town boy’ must leave the small town.

14. Keiynan Lonsdale, “Kiss the Boy”

Kiss the Boy [Single] • Keiynan Lonsdale • 2018

“You messing my emotions up / My air gets stuck / I’m scared to show just how I feel ‘cause people talk…” And it’s that last part of the first pre-chorus from “Kiss the Boy” that makes a life-altering happening like coming out so difficult.  On “Kiss the Boy,” Keiynan Lonsdale urges embracing who you are – being true to self, coming out.  First things first of course, in case you are unaware, Keiynan Lonsdale is an actor, dancer, and musician from Australia, known for his role in the CW television series The Flash, and film roles in Insurgent and Love, Simon. As you might imagine given the aforementioned lyrical excerpts, he’s a member of the LGBTQ community, but dislikes labels (he’s been labeled by media as bisexual).

It’s following the aforementioned pre-chorus that Keiynan tells us, ‘go all in!’ On the chorus, eh sings:

“If you want to kiss the boy
Then you better kiss the boy right now
You ain’t got to be afraid
Of the words you want to say right now
‘Cause love is a game we deserve to play out loud
So, if you wanna
Then you better kiss the boy.”

From that point on, Lonsdale encourages taking the plunge.  On the second verse, he asserts, “Give into love / … Give it the time,” while on the third verse, he states, “Don’t want to hide / Most of my life I’ve been terrified / Spending my days always questioning / Am I wrong to love a man.” Essentially, he captures the fears, skepticisms of so many questioning their sexuality, ultimately saying, DON’T BE AFRAID TO BE WHO YOU ARE.

15. Trey Pearson, “Love is Love”

Love is Love • Trey Pearson • 2017

Trey Pearson, the former frontman of Christian rock band Everyday Sunday, shocked the world when he came out as a gay man in 2016.  Homosexuality is far more widely accepted than it once was, but the Christian/Christian music community is a bit of a different situation.  Unsurprisingly, Pearson exited the band as well as left the Christian rock scene.

According to a Huffington Post article written by Curtis M. Wong, Pearson states: “When I came out, I lost a lot of people in my life…I had to just completely start over and rebuild relationships and figure out my life as an out gay man.” Pearson may have had to rebrand and rebuild himself, but he certainly didn’t quit music.  On November 17, 2017, he released his brief debut album, Love is Love.

“And I never believed before now / Maybe tonight we’ll find out / Don’t wanna leave / Can’t get enough / I know that love is love.”  Title track “Love is Love” beams with pride for many reasons.  Firstly, the song arrived on October 11, which is National Coming Out Day. Secondly, via his conversation with Billboard, Pearson describes the song as “an anthem celebrating the freedom to love each other, without fear, because all you need is love.” In the aforementioned Huffington Post article, regarding the music video for “Love is Love,” Pearson states, “I really wanted to capture the range of emotions I’ve felt in the past year… I felt like I was able to feel completely vulnerable.”  Like many of the songs on this mostly ‘selected’ playlist, “Love is Love” appeared on the larger playlist, Totally Awesome LGBTQ Songs Beaming with Pride.

16. Frank Ocean, “Thinkin Bout You”

Channel Orange • Def Jam • 2012

Frank Ocean took a risk coming out as bisexual during the run of 2012 debut LP, Channel Orange.  The black community is a work in progress in regard to LGBTQ friendliness.  Ocean didn’t suffer in the least commercially. Channel Orange went on to be nominated for the Grammy for album of the year.  One of the reasons for its success was single “Thinkin Bout You.” “Thinkin Bout You” straddles a line.  Without knowledge of Ocean’s sexuality, the naïve listener won’t necessarily pick up any LGBTQ references.

Explicitly, there’s just one, and it’s relatively subtle:

“My eyes don’t shed tears, but boy, they pour when…
I’m thinkin’ ‘bout you…do you think about me still?”

“Thinkin Bout You” is about being in love for the first time and for Frank Ocean, that experience occurred with a guy.

“Yes of course I remember, how could I forget how you feel?
You know you were my first time, a new feel…”

17. Sylvester, “You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real)”

Step II • Concord Music Group • 1978

“Still your hot and you kiss me back and it / Feels real good and I know you love me / Like you should…” Those lyrics hail from the seminal disco classic, “You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real)” by the late, great R&B artist, Sylvester.  Sylvester was known for his androgynous style, overall flamboyance, and of course, being an openly gay musician. Sadly, this talented man would die at the young age of 41 from AIDS.  That said, his legacy speaks for itself, specifically “You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real).”

Though less explicitly than other songs on this list, “You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real)” embraces the door being ajar as closed – catch my drift.  Perhaps it is how open that Sylvester was regarding sexuality itself, or the quick tempo coupled with a magnificent beat and otherworldly synths.  Regardless, this iconic gay anthem feels like a ‘coming out’ party if there ever were one.  From the dancing on the first verse, to the sex that’s suggested on the second, it feels like a true embrace of being true to self romantically and sexually.

18-19. Troye Sivan, “Heaven” & “BITE”

Ft. Betty Who

Blue Neighbourhood • Capitol • 2015

Throughout his 2015 debut album, Blue Neighbourhood, South African born, Australian-bred pop musician Troye Sivan showed off indisputable talent as well as an authentic peek into his world. Blue Neighbourhood masterfully captures his experiences as a gay male coping with being different.  “Heaven,” featuring Betty Who is among the deepest songs from the album, reeking of vulnerability, finding Sivan questioning his sexuality and salvation. “Without losing a piece of me / How do I get to heaven,” he sings on the chorus, continuing, “Without changing a part of me / How do I get to heaven?”

Thematically, this is something of a grey area in music; how many songs have been written about this emotion or issue? It’s often discussed, but to be portrayed musically, it’s fresh and definitely piques both brain and heart. “Heaven” has previously appeared on the playlists 13 Songs Associated with Heaven and/or Paradise and 18 Songs About Angels & All Things Angelic.

“Don’t you wanna see a man up close? / A phoenix in the fire.” Another gem associated with coming to terms with sexuality and coming out from the same album is “BITE,” which literally has a ‘bite’ about it, sounding ‘suspect.’ According to an interview with Pop Buzz, Sivan stated, “‘BITE’ is about my first time in a gay club.” He goes on to describe the chaotic atmosphere, asserting he “wanted to capture the chaos”: “… [I was] taken aback by the sticky floor, the shirtless men, and everything else.”

Lyrically, “BITE” grows progressively sketchier.

“The rapture in the dark puts me at ease
The blind eye of the storm
Let’s go for a walk down Easy street
Where you can be reborn.”

“BITE” is a statement about losing virginity in regard to a life experience. For Sivan, it marks a rite of passage in his life as a gay man – another part of his sexual awakening. It parallels a number of first experiences. “Bloom”, which appears on Sivan’s sophomore album, Bloom, also seems to tie-in to the coming out experience.