11 More Songs That Reference Coming Out | Playlist

11 More Songs That Reference Coming Out features music courtesy of GRANT KNOCHE, Mad Tsai, MKSM, Omar Apollo, and Wrabel.  

Perhaps Tim Nelson of Cub Sport said it best, intact with an f-bomb : “Yeah, I came out and I felt fucking free”. Woo! For Tyler Glenn, on “Devil” ( Excommunication), he asserts, “I swear I still believe in something / But I couldn’t ‘pray the gay away’,” later adding, “I found myself when I lost my faith.” Deep, deep, deep. There are more examples, but examining these two instances, they reflect on coming out – being true to self sans lying.  It is important to be live your life, the way you want to live it, and not be constricted, particularly by sexuality.  Many, many songs have been written about coming out.

Back in 2019, we compiled a list of 19 ( 19 Songs That Reference Coming Out (2019)), along with many lists and songs that reference the LGBTQ+ experience.  We return with another musical compendium, 11 More Songs That Reference Coming Out . This fabulous list features music courtesy of GRANT KNOCHE, Mad Tsai, MKSM, Omar Apollo and Wrabel among others. Don’t let the lack of some big-named, mainstream musicians fool you – all of these artists are incredibly talented and deserve wider recognition.  So, without further ado, prepare for a authentic, honest, and therapeutic listening experience with 11 More Songs That Reference Coming Out .

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1. Omar Apollo, “Ice Slippin”

Live For Me (EP) • Omar Apollo / Warner • 2023 

The handsome , talented Grammy nominated singer/songwriter Omar Apollo dropped a terrific single, “Ice Slippin”, an advance from his EP, Live For Me. Early on in his career, there were questions regarding Apollo’s sexuality. As he’s evolved, he’s clearly become comfortable living his truth, being gay, and sharing it with the world.  “Ice Slippin,” an extremely personal song, deals with his family’s reaction to coming out and moving beyond his home state (lack of acceptance and conservative attitudes).  “Ice Slippin” commences with a minimalist sound initially, featuring unique production by Apollo and Teo Halm.  This ballad embraces alternative R&B vibes. As always, he sings radiantly; he has a gorgeous tone.  In the chorus, the first section we hear beyond the intro, “Ice Slippin” is a tender piano ballad:  

“When you comin’ home?  

Home is where you’re supposed to be 

Turn around, it’s not too late, did I hurt you?  

You live too far away 

Are you turnin’ off your phone again?  

If I take back my words, would you return to me?”

Clearly, home is not a happy place for Omar, given his sexuality. He contrasts his tender vocals with more coarse, bold vocals in the verses. Ice comes into the picture for the first time in the first verse:  “Ice slippin’, swear to God, could’ve hit the brakes, steering wheel locked almost said, ‘Fuck it’ (Fuck, fuck, fuck it).” This seems to capture the sentiment of non-acceptance, as well as literal coldness in Indiana during the winter.  Notably, both pre-choruses have different melodic identities, which add an element of unpredictability – he keeps us engaged by not being complacent. The bridge is unique, with its unique wavy sounds and vocal effects. “Real life, real life, real life / You ain’t got no real friends in your life, your life, your life,” he sings, continuing, “You gon’ feel better by the springtime… / Slippin’ on ice in the meantime.” The depth of “Ice Slippin”, as well as the personal nature, particularly from an LGBTQ perspective, truly makes this a special record.

Appears in :

• Awesome Songs: September 2023

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2. GRANT KNOCHE, “First Hello”

FIRST HELLO • Grant Knoche • 2022 

“So, I wanna let it out / Wasn’t ready then / But I’m ready now.” What is Dallas, Texas-bred/LA based artist/producer/songwriter, GRANT KNOCHE ready to let out? His sexuality – being true to who he is. The handsome and talented artist introduces himself to world as bisexual on “First Hello”, which appears on his 2022 EP, also titled, FIRST HELLO. He introduces himself in grand fashion with beautiful, expressive vocals, personal songwriting, and marvelous production .   

“Oh my, beautiful bliss 
I’m so foreign to this 
Tell you what my walls know 
Here’s my first hello 
Oh my, such a relief 
I can be me 
I don’t put on no show 
It’s my first hello.” – Chorus  

Early on, Knoche recalls his feelings of being different; how hiding his sexuality has affected him. “Convince myself it’s nothin’ / Pray to God to fix me / Feelin’ guilty havin’ thoughts at 12 years old,” he sings in the first verse, adding, “Is momma gonna like this? I’m riskin’ her of grandkids.” Many who has struggled with their sexuality can sense they are different, and ultimately, wonder how that changes their life, particularly with family.  In the second verse, Knoche also worries about how coming out changes things with his friends.  “I want my friends to know me / Like, really, really know me,” he sings, adding, “I hope this doesn’t change things.”  He also debunks stereotypes (boys do cry), while also expressing the pain he experienced by not being honest about his sexuality.  He also discourages blame and hopes his father views him as “not any less a man.”  Coming out is not easy – it requires bravery. Clearly, listening to this incredibly honest gem, it was necessary for Grant to allow him to be who he is – show his authentic, full, and genuine self.  Grant’s story may not be everybody’s, but if you are part of the LGBTQ community, more likely than not, you relate to his experience.

Appears in :

• GRANT KNOCHE, First Hello: LGBTQ Bopz 17 (2023)

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3. Mad Tsai, “Boy Bi”

homecoming! (EP) • Mad Tsai • 2022

“So, do you like girls or do you like boys?” Believe it or not, not everybody in the world is straight – mind blowing isn’t it? Perhaps if you are hypermasculine, or obviously, date plenty of girls, you can eschew questions regarding sexuality (“I’m too gay for girls, too straight for drag queens”). Speaking from experience, if you don’t fit the mold, people want to know. Anyways, Mad Tsai addresses his sexuality on the cleverly titled, “Boy Bi”, which was released as a single in 2020.  Ultimately, it appears on Tsai’s 2022 EP, homecoming!.  Following the intro where he is asked about sexual preference, Tsai proceeds to open up about his identity.

“When my friends ask me ‘bout my sexuality / I choke up and joke that the answers not easy,” he asserts in the first verse, adding, “Like I’m watching a Disney movie and the couple gets it on / but who should I look at, is it Shang or Mulan.” Clearly, Tsai acknowledges being a boy that is bi, hence the title.  In the chorus, he playfully confirms, “Like boy bi / Girl, hi / New guy / I’m bi? / I cray every time / I try to decide.” Give Mad Tsai credit for his transparency regarding bisexuality.  The second verse finds him being even more vulnerable, asserting, that “I’m bi just without the sexual / I’m too scared to date so I’ve just been by myself.” Aww . Identity issues run deeper than just bare bones sexual identity as one can feel like they don’t even fit within the group they’re supposed to.  Tsai says it best when he states that “Love can be so hard / For someone who doesn’t know what they want.” Although it is a short record, “Boy Bi” is a fun, sweet, and thoughtful pop single.  Mad Tsai sings well and comes off incredibly authentic.

Appears in :

• Mad Tsai, Boy Bi: LGBTQ Bopz 16 (2023)
• BOY, These Songs Are About You (2023)

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4. XILLAN, “Oh Happy Day”

“Oh Happy Day” • XILLAN • 2023

Typically, when you think of “Oh Happy Day”, it is the beloved, gospel classic by The Edwin Hawkins Singers .  In the hands of Surinamese, Netherlands based musician XILLAN (Xillan Macrooy), however, his “OH HAPPY DAY” is NOT a gospel record. In XILLAN’s hands, “Oh Happy Day” is sexual – ooh-la-la. The self-described musician, writer, and storyteller proudly asserts, repeatedly, “I fucked my shame away / Oh happy day.” WOO! Some church folks might take offense to this happy day, one that involves the f-bomb, especially in a sexual context . But, if you are open-minded, you see both a bigger message/picture, as well as a marvelous sex song!  

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by XILLAN (@xil_lan)

XILLAN is liberated on “Oh Happy Day,” a fact that should not be neglected.  Sure, he is radiating that Midnight Heat , but he has also rid of shame.  In an IG post leading up to the release of “OH HAPPY DAY,” he highlights the toxicity of shame.  Shame is huge in the LGBTQ+ community, with internalized homophobia, as well as homophobia in general.  Sometimes, that shame comes within ones family and friends.  In this aesthetically pleasing gem that titillates given XILLAN’s declaration, as well as his sexy voice (including a ripe falsetto) and the sweet, ear-catching production (Macrooy and Bastian Benjamin), XILLAN embraces pleasure sans shame.  Basically, he’s ridding of stigmas and what anybody else thinks in favor of living – enjoying the pleasures of life and love without constraints. See also, “MY BROTHER’S TONGUE IS A GUN”.

Appears in :

• XILLAN, Oh Happy Day: Midnight Heat 46 (2023)
• 13 More Songs That Exhibit That Midnight Heat (2023)

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5. Wrabel, “abstract art”

chapter of you • Big Gay / Nettwerk Music Group Inc. • 2023

Ask yourself this, why should anyone have to hide from the world? Unfortunately, the world can be a cruel, unaccepting place – something we’ve seen throughout 2023 – hence why those of us who are different feel forced to hide.  WE SHOULDN’T HAVE TO HIDE, something that singer/songwriter Wrabel makes loud and clear on his single, “Abstract Art” ( chapter of you (EP), 2023). He penned this beautiful, uplifting record with Sam de Jong, and Eric Leva. De Jong also produces. Yes, this is an LGBTQ bop – Wrabel is openly gay – but the message is applicable to anyone who feels different, like an outsider – abstract art.

“There’s always gonna be someone tryna tear you apart

Always gonna be sticks and stones and broken hearts

They’re gonna try and tell you who you are

Not everybody can understand abstract art.”

The chorus is the centerpiece of the song, where Wrabel addresses us. He makes it clear that not everybody will understand you, because you are different, however, makes it clear you – we –  are all special. Don’t let the haters bring you down – live your life! Wrabel also uplifts in the second verse, asserting, “Where you see weakness, I see power / And some would pay any price.”  All told, Wrabel says and sings all of the right things.  We should adhere to it. Don’t let someone’s differences become a source of belittlement.  Don’t let someone’s sexuality be a reason to persecute or exclude them. Appreciate the “Abstract Art”, don’t persecute or shun it .

Appears in :

• Wrabel, Abstract Art: LGBTQ Bopz 31 (2023)

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6. Joe Daccache, “F.A.G.”

“F.A.G.” • Joe Daccache • 2021 

On “F.A.G.”, released during Pride Month in 2021, Lebanese singer/songwriter Joe Daccache turns the degrading, ugly f-slur into a powerful song that embraces love.  He’s utterly “Fabulous and Gay.” The handsome Daccache is onto something with “F.A.G.”.  His voice sounds fantastic (slay King), particularly when he ascends into his upper register.  “F.A.G.” features picturesque production and rhythmic, tuneful melodies.  There’s sweetness despite the fact that it is clear that Daccache has experience his own share of homophobia. “Hey, don’t you know when you call me by that name / I don’t let it throw me ‘ Let the bullets rain,” he sings in the first verse, adding, “I’ve been through all this pain, but this is just how I was made.” Amen, Joe!

In the brief second verse, Daccache asserts, “Unashamed of my creation / Turn it up, now go on to say it.” So many times, there is ample shame associated with being a member of the LGBTQ+ population, regardless which letter characterizes you. Rather than cry and suffer, Daccache encourages us to be true to self: “I’m loving all this energy / I never felt so fucking free / I know that I’m fabulous and gay.” Don’t let anybody break you with their words, let alone their narrow-minded view of a world that is big enough for everybody! “F.A.G.” speaks volumes, and I’m sad my first experience with this gem was two years after its release. Better late than never!

Appears in :

• Joe Daccache, F.A.G.: LGBTQ Bopz 23 (2023) 

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7. Cameron Joshua McMillan, “HOMOSEXUAL”

“HOMOSEXUAL” • CamBam • 2021

“I still pray, I still love, but I’m still gay,” the handsome, talented Cameron Joshua McMillan sings at the top of his single, “HOMOSEXUAL”. What an unapologetic title! Pray and gay rhyme, so they are at least related in that respect . Unfortunately, some people only associate the two words together regarding ridding of latter, which McMillan clearly isn’t fool with (“Can’t take that away baby”).  Just those few lines alone speak volumes.  On “HOMOSEXUAL,” Cameron is NOT ashamed to be who he is. Why the hell should he be? “I won’t ever apologize for the beautiful life ahead of me!”

Proudly a homo (his words, per the chorus), he goes on to cite his homosexual brethren: “Elton, George, Freddie, Ru, Ian, Billy, Ricky, Adam, Troye.” Furthermore, he understands what and who he is, which honestly, is more than can be said about many folks. Also, consider those who suffer from internalized homophobia as well as external homophobia who wish they could embrace their true selves. Essentially, “HOMOSEXUAL” is empowering. Beyond the authentic messaging and fine vocals (including sweet harmonies), the backdrop is enticing.  Slick electro pop and a major key to celebrate being true to self? This 2021 bop embracing truth without shame deserved far more attention aka streams!

Appears in :

• Cameron Joshua McMillan, HOMOSEXUAL: LGBTQ Bopz 20 (2023)

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8. Cub Sport, “Keep Me Safe”

Jesus At The Gay Bar • Cub Sport • 2023

“I could lose it all, whatever / I just wanna die in our heaven,” Tim Nelson delivers with heavy pitch shifted vocals in the chorus of “Keep Me Safe.” “Keep Me Safe” is one of many highlights from Jesus At The Gay Bar, the unapologetically titled, fifth album by Cub Sport. Notably, Nelson opens up more on this single than previous tracks from Jesus At The Gay Bar.  In the first verse, he confesses, “Went and got a girlfriend / Just to throw them off track” (he’s openly gay).  Eventually, he stops pretending (“Broke up with my girlfriend”) and even though there are losses for being true to self, “I don’t really feel that sad.” “I wrote ‘Keep Me Safe’ about a euphoric but complicated time,” Nelson tells Variance Magazine regarding the single, adding, “Shedding some light on it now feels like I’m validating my younger self and celebrating something I was so ashamed of at the time.” Being true to self, particularly embracing one’s sexuality is hard, but hey, it’s worked out for Nelson and his husband, bandmate Sam Netterfield !

Appears in :

• Best LGBTQ Songs of 2023 (so far) 

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9. MKSM, “Loving Myself”

Last One (EP) • Milch Musik • 2023

“I could spend more time on loving myself.” So many of us could, MKSM, particularly if you are a member of a marginalized community.  The openly gay, Berlin-based singer, songwriter, and violinist delivers an authentic, honest, and uplifting song with “Loving Myself”.  “Loving Myself” appears as the fourth and final track from MKSM’s 2023 EP, Last One (EP).  As awesome as MKSM was while “Breaking My Rules”, he’s even more potent on this track of self-acceptance, loving one’s self.

“Loving Myself” was written by MKSM alongside Linda Stark, Maxi Schulze, and producer, Thilo Wehrmann.  Both the music and lyrics are terrific.  Beginning with the music – the production – Wehrmann puts in superb work behind the boards.  The sound exemplifies modern pop, in all its slickness. Also, what about those strings ?  Beyond that shimmering backdrop, MKSM compels with gorgeous vocals. He gets a lift (positively) with colorful vocal production and effects, which play into this fresh, fresh vibe.  More important than the production is the songwriting – the theme and lyrics. MKSM is authentic and sincere from the onset. “All the double tapping on my phone / So I would never feel alone / On my own in my illusionary home,” he sings in the first verse, being transparent about his struggles. You can infer struggles are multilayered – body image, sexuality, etc. By the second verse, the lyrics suggest he (the character in the song) is learning to love himself sans an illusionary home: “Hey, there’s no need to be ashamed / It takes some time to feel this way / And that’s okay, it doesn’t have to be today.” Man, oh man, does that hit home! Rome wasn’t built in a day, particularly when it comes to hard, painful issues. Of course, the chorus is the crème de la crème, where the love is pronounced!

“I could spend more time on loving myself

No need for explanations when I’m loving myself

Could be chasing dreams of somebody else

But I’d rather spend more time on loving myself.”

MKSM shines on “Loving Myself”, a perfect song about accepting who you and ultimately, loving who you are.  MKSM says it best: you don’t have to explain anything when you love yourself. The pop bop not only the LGBTQ+ community needs, but the entire world.

Appears in :

• MKSM, Loving Myself: LGBTQ Bopz 32 (2023)

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10. JSJ, “Free”

“Free” • JSJ • 2023

“I’m trying hard not to breathe / If I don’t make movement, he cannot see me,” the handsome and talented JSJ (Joshua Säde James) sings on “Free”.  He seems to capture a sentiment of wanting to be invisible… James goes on to say he needs to step away from himself.  Addressing the elephant in the room, being different, particularly when it comes to sexuality, is TOUGH. Sure, it’s viewed as a choice by some narrowminded folks , but if that’s the case, quite the tough choice to be subjected to homophobia, scrutiny, and unfair treatment . Moving on, James is past the BS and hiding. He is liberated on “Free” and encourages everyone to live their truth, living freely on this must-hear Pride anthem.

JSJ is supported by exuberant, picturesque production work.  The ornate nature of the backdrop, with its rhythmic lines is impressive.  It’s a fitting soundtrack to freedom and living a refreshing life without being restrained.  In the second verse, he has found his wings, asserting, “I feel liberation now / After living for so many years, six feet underground / Through all the shit I finally see / I am powerful, worthy, and beautiful, and free.” Yes, yes, yes !  Of course, arguably, the most fitting, freeing lyrics arrive in the chorus, intact with his marvelous, nuanced vocals:

“And I believe

That you don’t need to know where you are

Going to know who you are

And I can see

The universe’s energy is wrapping all around me

We are free.”

Woo! That is some epic stuff right there.  The big takeaway is DO NOT let them takeaway or stifle your freedom or change who you are.  Live freely – be proud without shame ! Furthermore, crank this epic Pride anthem TF up!

Appears in :

• JSJ, Free: LGBTQ Bopz 24 (2023)

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11. Green Day, “Coming Clean”

Dookie • Reprise • 1994

“I’ve found out what it takes to be a man,” Billie Joe Armstrong sings in the chorus of “Coming Clean”, a short but meaningful gem from Dookie.  Dookie, of course, is the major label debut studio album by eventual, Grammy-winning rock band, Green Day (their third project overall).  On the song at hand, Armstrong reflects on coming out – he is bisexual.  The brief chorus continues, “Well, Mom and Dad’ll never understand.” That’s so often true, sadly.

Those lyrics from the chorus are significant, even if they pass by quickly in this song, which runs a little more than one minute and a half.  Coming out, particularly from the male perspective, isn’t viewed as manly.  However, because it takes courage to come out, Armstrong needs to come clean about who he is.  Because he is ‘manning up’ and being brave, that’s the true definition of being a man as opposed to what how some of society defines masculinity.  Of course, there are more notable lyrics beyond the chorus, with Armstrong asserting in the first verse he was “Seventeen and strung out on confusion.” In the second, he speaks about secrets, asserting, “Skeletons come to life in my closet.” The closet, of course, can be a toxic place when it comes to hiding sexual identity.  The third verse represents resolution for Armstrong, who proudly asserts, “I finally figured out myself for the first time.” “Coming Clean” is brief, but it is not only important to the Green Day catalog but also the LGBTQ+ catalog. Sure, Armstrong is married to a woman (shortly after coming clean) and has children, but, it’s courageous, especially back in the mid-1990s, that he and Green Day penned such a personal and progressive song about coming out.  It still resonates approaching 30 years later.

Appears in :

• Green Day, Coming Clean: LGBTQ Bopz 32 (2022)

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11 More Songs That Reference Coming Out (2023) [: Brent Faulkner / The Musical Hype; Big Gay / Nettwerk Music Group Inc., CamBam, Cub Sport, Grant Knoche, Joe Daccache, JSJ, Mad Tsai, Milch Musik, Reprise, Warner, XILLAN; Abhijeet Gourav,  socialsudo, TheQueerAI, from Pixabay]

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