Grant MacDonald, “Ram Ranch” | After Dark 🕛 🌃

In the 42^nd edition of After Dark (2022), we explore the naughty, risqué, & sexual vibes behind, “Ram Ranch” by Grant MacDonald. 

Innuendo? More like full-on sexual vibes!

Welcome to After Dark 🕛 🌃, a column featuring songs that are best suited for nighttime, specifically, the bedroom.  Many of the records featured here raise eyebrows, as well as the temperature! These After Dark tunes focus on the universal three-letter word:  SEX. The dark records gracing After Dark are old and new alike, with all genres of music welcome.  In the 42^nd edition of After Dark (2022), we explore the naughty, risqué, & sexual vibes behind, 🎵 “Ram Ranch” by 🎙 Grant MacDonald.

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Theme & Lyrics ✍ 

“Cowboys love big hard throbbing cocks.” Say what now, 🎙 Grant MacDonald? Sometimes, you listen to a song and you’re so shocked by it that it leaves you speechless.  Other times, you’re so shocked that you ask yourself the question, ‘WTF did I just listen to?’ That’s the situation I’m in with the Grant MacDonald’s 🎵 “Ram Ranch”.  My first experience with Mr. MacDonald was a different, NSFW, After Dark 🕛 🌃 song, 🎵 “Drink That Cum” – woo! I considered analyzing it, but found myself, well, shocked at the lyrics as well as MacDonald’s delivery.  I noticed that the most popular song in his category was “Ram Ranch,” which has millions of streams.  So, I opted to check it out and found myself, if possible, in even more shock than “Drink That Cum.”  Rolling Stone characterizes it as “a porno-metal song about gay cowboys” after all! Of course, when a song appears on an album titled 💿 12 Inch Cock (😮), you understand it’s going to be incredibly unapologetic – risqué AF!

“Eighteen naked cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch

Big hard throbbing cocks wanting to be sucked

Eighteen naked cowboys wanting to be fucked

Cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch

On their knees wanting to suck cowboy cocks

Ram Ranch really rocks.”

Holy fizzuck! It should go without saying that the ties between cowboys and gay culture go deep. MacDonald certainly doubles down on how gay cowboys can be. The excerpted lyrics appear in the chorus, with MacDonald employing a spoken word approach over a metal backdrop – that’s shocking itself! As the filthy song progresses, those cowboys (and presumably, Grant MacDonald) only get hornier.  It’s the descriptions (“Hot, hard cowboys, their cocks throbbing hard”) and the outlandishness (“Cowboys even getting fucked in their sleep”) that makes “Ram Ranch,” um, interesting. Of course, what makes it most interesting is how gay it is.  Interestingly, this 2012, hypersexual, spoken word number was revived in 2022 as an anthem disrupting the anti-vax trucker convoy in Canada. Go figure!

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Final Thoughts 💭

The big takeaway from 🎵 “Ram Ranch” is that cowboys enjoy and indulge in gay sex… I think. This song is NSFW – don’t even think about listening to it on the job! It’s odd but incredibly, um, yeah… still speechless, 🎙 Grant MacDonald.

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🎙 Grant MacDonald • 💿 12 Inch Cock • 🏷 MACDONALD Studios • 🗓 8.30.2012

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Grant MacDonald, “Ram Ranch”: After Dark 🕛 🌃 No. 42 (2022) [📷: Brent Faulkner, cottonbro, Darkmoon_Art, JJ Whitley, Ketut Subiyanto, KoolShooters, Luan Queiros, MACDONALD Studios, The Musical Hype, Pexels, Pixabay, Tazz Vaughn]

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