blink-182 vs. jxdn | Head 2 Head

In the 42^nd edition of Head 2 Head (2025), blink-182 and jxdn contend for the best rendition of “Happy Holidays, You Bastard.” 

Welcome to Head 2 Head! On Head 2 Head, we pit at least two musicians performing the same song and compare their performances.  After deliberation, we decide which performance is the best or moves us more subjectively.  In the 42^nd edition of Head 2 Head (2025), blink-182 and jxdn contend for the best rendition of “Happy Holidays, You Bastard”. So, without further ado, let the Head 2 Head commence!

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~ Table of Contents ~

1. blink-182, “Happy Holidays, You Bastard” 2. jxdn, “Happy Holidays, You Bastard” The Verdict 👨🏾‍⚖️

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1. blink-182, “Happy Holidays, You Bastard”

Take Off Your Pants And Jacket » Geffen » 2001

 

It’s hard to imagine that 45 seconds of song can be impactful or potent. Not a long runtime in the least! But in the hands of blink-182, their brevity pays off, yielding a bold, scathing, unholiday-like song with “Happy Holidays, You Bastard”. The title speaks volumes without ever hearing one note of the fourth track from Take Off Your Pants And Jacket.  This was prime blink-182, who gave, stayed together for the kids, and gave zero fucks.

Mark Hoppus comes in hot on “Happy Holidays, You Bastard.” In the first verse, he memorably sings, “It’s Christmas Eve and I’ve only wrapped two fuckin’ presents,” and adds, “And I hate, hate, hate your guts /… And I’ll never talk to you again.” In the second verse, he shifts to a different holiday, Labor Day, talking about his grandpa eating “seven fuckin’ hot dogs,” and, expectedly, “He shit, shit, shit his pants.” Even with a shitting grandpa 👴 🤭, Hoppus informs, “And I’ll never talk to you again.” The centerpiece of this off-the-rails, up-tempo, and wild punk/pop-punk cut is the chorus, which is, as you might guess, NSFW.

“Unless your dad will suck me off, I’ll never talk to you again

Unless your mom will touch my cock, I’ll never talk to you again

Ejaculate into a sock, I’ll never talk to you again

I’ll never talk to you again.”

👀 👀 👀 Likely, Dad is not going to give him a blowjob, nor is Mom going to touch his cock. “Happy Holidays, You Bastard” is something else!

 

Appears in:

blink-182, Happy Holidays, You Bastard: Wacky Wednesday No. 47 (2025)

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2. jxdn, “Happy Holidays, You Bastard”

“Happy Holidays, You Bastard” » DTA / Elektra » 2021

Handsome, heavily tatted Gen-Z singer-songwriter and social media personality jdxn (Jaden Hossler, b. 2001) had big shoes to fill. How so? Covering a timeless blink-182 gem is no easy matter. “Happy Holidays, You Bastard” already kicked some serious ass as a truly naughty, wild ‘Christmas song.’ In the original,  brief, profanity-laced, NSFW pop-punk novelty song from 2001’s Take Off Your Pants and Jacket, Mark Hoppus did God’s work (🤭) singing.  In his own, 43-second rendition, jxdn shines, too. It also doesn’t hurt that a member of blink-182, Travis Barker, produced the cover.

Hossler goes in on “Happy Holidays, You Bastard.” His vocal performance is playful, filled with personality, yet easy-going. Hossler never forces things. He navigates the angst-filled, outlandish lyrics like a champ. When he says, “I hate, hate, hate your guts,” you believe him! Of course, the best section beyond the f-bombs in both verses, and shitting in the second, is the chorus. True to the original, jxdn won’t talk to you again “Unless you dad will suck me off /… Unless your mom will touch my cock /… Ejaculate into a sock.” No need to explore that any further! Of course, the music is turnt up with its boisterous guitar, driving bass, and aggressive, pummeling drumming. Topping Mark Hoppus is no easy task.  Was that even the modus operandi on the jxdn cover of “Happy Holidays, You Bastard”? Probably not, but Hossler easily captures the angsty, rebellious spirit of this un-Christmas cut 🤘.

 

Appears in:

jxdn, Happy Holidays, You Bastard: Covers No. 38 (2025)

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The Verdict 👨🏿‍⚖️

So, who was the most unholiday-like on “Happy Holidays, You Bastard”? Was it the angsty original by blink-182 or the angsty cover by jxdn?  Either way, it’s novel pop-punk, right? Right. Jxdn did a nice job of covering, playing true to the original.  Did he do anything monumental that distinguishes his take from blink-182? The answer is no.  So, this head-to-head is pretty cut and dry.  Recreating novel songs, especially brief novel songs, and distinguishing them significantly from the original, is an arduous task.  So, blink-182 comes out on top. Was there ever any doubt? It was Mark Hoppus the entire time!

🏅 Winner: blink-182

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blink-182 vs. jxdn: Head 2 Head No. 42 (2025) [📷: Brent Faulkner / The Musical Hype; DTA, Elektra, Geffen; Israel Torres, KoolShooters, Los Muertos Crew, RDNE Stock project, Thomas Ronveaux from Pexels; AcatXIo from Pixabay]

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