Bathroom | 3 to 5 BOPS

Bathroom: 3 to 5 BOPS No. 64 (2023), features musical BOPS courtesy of Anthony Sprunk, Bobby Darin, HOLYCHILD, Montell Fish, and N.E.R.D. 

Ah, you know what time it is! It’s 3 to 5 BOPS time – WOO! On 3 to 5 BOPS, it’s all about brevity and sweetness… for the most part! There’s a theme/topic, 3, 4, or 5 songs, and a blurb – two paragraphs or less.  3 to 5 BOPS, hence, is a mini playlist that shouldn’t take much time to consume.  In the 64^th edition of 3 to 5 BOPS (2023), we select songs that are associated with the BATHROOM in some form or fashion. The BOPS arrive courtesy of 🎙 Anthony Sprunk, 🎙 Bobby Darin, 🎙 HOLYCHILD, 🎙 Montell Fish, and 🎙 N.E.R.D. Okay, let’s get into it!

1. Anthony Sprunk, “I’ll Meet You in the Bathroom”

🎵 “I’ll Meet You In The Bathroom” • 🏷 Anthony Sprunk • 🗓 2022

“But I’ll meet you in the bathroom / You go first ‘cause you know how / People love to assume…”  Hmm 🤔, wonder what happens when two guys meet in a bathroom? Well, unless you are incredibly naïve and live under a rock, it shouldn’t be too hard to figure out what 🎙 Anthony Sprunk and this particular guy intend to do on 🎵 “I’ll Meet You in the Bathroom”.  Clearly, an act of pleasure is going down 😈 🍆 💦, one of which Sprunk goes on to sing, “If the next five minutes / Is the only five minutes / It was worth every minute.”  Basically, experiencing pleasure, even if it is short-lived and essentially, empty and meaningless, is better than nothing. A lot of gay men might say the same, to be honest. BUT there is something more transcendent…  

Interestingly, if you dig deeper into the lyrics of “I’ll Meet You In The Bathroom,” sex isn’t the sole takeaway.  Sure, Anthony and this guy are going to enjoy each other’s company temporarily, but there appears to be a level of fear.  The fear of judgment and shame.  Those are two things experienced by so many members of the LGBTQ+ community, regardless of the letter that best represents them.  Notably, Sprunk asserts, “I just wanna go out and not worry about / Stupid people with stupid faces and their opinions.” Basically, he wants to live his truth without being judged.  Later, both guys mention the shame: “He said his family would be ashamed / I said, ‘Mine would feel the same’ / But God knows that I tried / Turned ocean tears to tides / And nothing changed.” Woo! So much to unpack from a mere trip to the bathroom! By the end, it’s clear that nothing of substance comes of the hookup as Sprunk has more questions than answers: “Did you make it out of Tucson? / Did you get your law degree? / Did you make it to Chicago? / I guess some things I’ll never know.” All told, 🎵 “I’ll Meet You in the Bathroom” is truly special, superbly capturing the gay 🌈 experience.

Appears in 🔻:

• Anthony Sprunk, I’ll Meet You in the Bathroom: LGBTQ Bopz 🌈🎶 28 (2023)

2. HOLYCHILD, “Bathroom Bitch”

🎵 “Bathroom Bitch” • 🏷 Glassnote Entertainment Group LLC • 🗓 2018

“I wanna fuck you in the bathroom / I wanna fuck you on the roof of my car / I wanna drink your juice so badly / I want it dripping from my ass to the floor.” Wow – holy fuck! 🎙 Liz Nistico doesn’t hold back anything on 🎵 “Bathroom Bitch”, which is clearly a sexual record.  The first verse is X-rated, and the second and third don’t tame things down either.  “Can I go down on you in public,” Nistico asks in the second verse, adding in the third, “C’mon and fuck me like you doubt me / I wanna be the only one you won’t forget.” Woo! Nistico (songwriting and vocals), alongside producer/instrumentalist 🎙 Louie Diller were previously part of the alternative/indie pop duo, 🎙 HOLYCHILD.  They have since moved on from HOLYCHILD, but “Bathroom Bitch” is unforgettable, to say the least.   

“Baby, I’m an animal but you can have a taste 

God, I feel so powerful when grinding on your face…”

My, my, my! Beyond the pre-chorus with its animalistic tendencies, the chorus encourages the sweet pleasures of sex.  Interestingly, it does so without f-bombs explicitly expressing what’s going down.  No worries, because the bridge gets down and dirty once more: “In the bathroom, in the library / I feel your love inside of me.” Inside, huh? #SPEECHLESS! The sex is lit on 🎵 “Bathroom Bitch” – that might be an understatement.  This is a dirty but fun and utterly infectious indie pop joint.  Liz Nistico is bold AF, and she’s unafraid to express her sexual desires.

Appears in 🔻:

• HOLYCHILD, Bathroom Bitch: After Dark 🕛 🌃 77 (2022)

3. Montell Fish, “Bathroom”

💿 Her Love Still Haunts Me Like a Ghost • 🏷 Lord’s Child • 🗓 2022

“She said, ‘Forget all the slow dancing / Baby, we could take it to the bathroom’.” Woo! Obviously, neither 🎙 Montell Fish or his prospective lady need to do ‘number one’ or ‘number two’ in the bathroom 😏.  Obviously, the plan on 🎵 “Bathroom” from his 2022 project, 💿 Her Love Still Haunts Me Like a Ghost involve a heaping dose of S meets E, and then they X. The chorus, which appears at the top of the track, continues, “‘You know you ain’t even gotta ask me / Baby, we could take it to the bathroom.” Yup, it’s going down – Meet me at the bathroom, IT’S GOIN’ DOWN 😈!!!

Here’s the thing though, Montell Fish keeps it classy – well as classy as a bathroom rendezvous can be – on “Bathroom.” Perhaps they’re merely making out in the bathroom, but, we can read between the lines.  “She moves with my palm / She always gives it to me / I’m fallin’ in love / This is addictive, please.” At least to his credit, in the sole verse of his slow jam, Fish admits to falling in love as opposed to just a one-bathroom-stand! More could be said about the lyrics, but honestly, that’s about the size of it on 🎵 “Bathroom”. Clearly, this couple doesn’t care about slow dancing and requires some private, sexy time via the bathroom. It’s a sexy V-I-B-E to say the least!

Appears in 🔻:

• Montell Fish, Bathroom: Midnight Heat 🕛 🔥 64 (2023)

4. N.E.R.D, “Everyone Nose (All The Girls Standing in the Line for the Bathroom)”

💿 Seeing Sounds • 🏷 Star Trak, LLC • 📅 2008

“ALL THE GIRLS STANDING IN THE LINE FOR THE BATHROOM.” Woo, 🎙 Shay Haley! That’s some kind of hook right there! That said, anytime 🎙 Pharrell Williams is attached to a music project, you can expect a distinct, ear-catching, and unique sound.  His group, 🎙 N.E.R.D, which features Haley and 🎙 Chad Hugo, never shy away from being bold.  The lengthy titled 🎵 “Everyone Nose (All The Girls Standing in the Line for the Bathroom)” is a prime example of N.E.R.D being TRUE TO SELF.  A highlight from their 2008 album, 💿 Seeing Sounds, the second track is truly all over the place.  The production (🎛 The Neptunes) is a big deal, with the hyper groove, use of string bass, and the outlandish sound effects.

While Haley gets the honor of performing the outlandish, memorable hook, much of “Everyone Nose (All The Girls Standing in the Line for the Bathroom)” is performed by Williams.  “Cut you open and you’re just wired,” he raps in the first verse, adding, “You ain’t tired; you wanna cause a riot.” Hmm, why isn’t she tired? Well, the answer is simple: SHE’S HIGH!  The song is about girls doing cocaine! “Close your eyes, see colorful things / You wanna, let go, feel wonderful things,” Pharrell raps in the second verse, continuing, “Just a bit more just to get in the lane / So we can enter the brain and you can flip with the pain.” My, my, my!  There is contrast on the bridge, which is sung, and seems to reference the morning after this coked out experience, numbing life, apparently (“Here’s a towel, wipe your face / Cool down, have a drink, it’s on me”).  All told, 🎵 “Everyone Nose (All The Girls Standing in the Line for the Bathroom)” is wild, and we wouldn’t have it any other way!

Appears in 🔻:

• N.E.R.D, Everyone Nose (All The Girls Standing in the Line for the Bathroom): FIERCE Pop + Rock 🔥🤘 No. 34 (2023)

5. Bobby Darin, “Splish Splash”

💿 Bobby Darin • 🏷 Atlantic • 🗓 1958

“Splish splash, I was taking a bath / Long about a Saturday night.” Okay, so what, 🎙 Bobby Darin (1936 – 1973)? “Well, I stepped out the tub, put my feet on the floor / I wrapped the towel around me / And I opened up the door.” Um, okay, still sounds like a totally, innocent bathing experience on 🎵 “Splish Splash” from his 1958 album, 💿 Bobby Darin.  Is there more that we need to know about bath time or you being naturally nude after the bath, Bobby? “Splish splash, I jumped back in the bath / Well, how was I to know there was a party going on?” Hmm, well, that begins to explain a bit of the controversy surrounding this no. 3 hit on the Billboard Hot 100, I suppose 🤷🏾‍♂️.  

“Splish Splash” was actually banned by some radio stations. Why? References to nudity after Bobby Darin discovers the party going outside of the bathroom!  Ultimately, after he sees the teens dancing, he asserts, “I forgot about the bath / I went and put my dancing shoes on.” Well, at this point, we assume he’s put on shoes, but what about some clothes, Bobby? There is no clarity.  The assumption would be that dancing shoes just means he started dancing, whether he had shoes on or not.  Furthermore, beyond skipping the bath and putting that towel around him, there is no mention of a shirt, pants, or even a pair of undies.  It seems dumb that this would earn this innocent song controversy, but it was the 1950s and given Darin’s youth and the fact this song is about teens partying, it was deemed risqué.  Is it? Nope. Really, the flaw is that Darin and co-writer 🎼 ✍ Murray Kaufman failed to make sure Bobby was dressed properly! More notably on this fun, 🎛 Ahmet Ertegün / Herb Abramson production is the reference to other vintage songs: 🎵 “Lollipop”, 🎵 “Peggy Sue”, and 🎵 “Good Golly Miss Molly”.  Believe me, the kids do much worse in the 2020s then 🎵 “Splish Splash” would have ever dreamt of doing!   

Appears in 🔻:

• Bobby Darin, “Splish Splash”: Controversial Tunes 😈🎶 5 (2023)

Bathroom: 3 to 5 BOPS No. 64 (2023) [📷: Brent Faulkner / The Musical Hype; Anthony Sprunk, Atlantic, Glassnote Entertainment Group LLC, Lord’s Child, Star Trak, LLC; Ron Lach from Pexels]