15 SUCK Songs That Do Not SUCK

Reading Time: 16 min read

15 SUCK Songs That Do Not SUCK features music by Arctic Monkeys, COBRAH, Ezra Furman, Lil Kim, Parliament, and Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Life SUCKS sometimes. Facts. Sometimes, sucking in life is positive. Think about it. How fun is it to suck on lollipops? Like life, music can suck too. However, there are lots of talented artists who slay and wouldn’t dare drop sucky songs. The point of this bizarre intro? To capture your SUCKING attention, of course – DUH! The criteria for 15 SUCK Songs That Do Not SUCK is simple. Some form of the word suck must appear in each of the song titles – NO EXCEPTIONS! 15 SUCK Songs That Do Not SUCK features music by Arctic Monkeys, COBRAH, Ezra Furman, Lil Kim, Parliament, and Red Hot Chili Peppers. So, without further ado, let’s sucking get into this suckery, shall we?!

~ Table of Contents ~

1. COBRAH, “SUCK”

2. Jonas Brothers, “Sucker”

3. Kelly Clarkson, “My Life Would Suck Without You

4. Lil Baby, “No Sucker” (Ft. Moneybagg Yo)

5. Myylo, “Being Born Kinda Sucks”

6. Confetti, “People Suck”

7. Lil Kim, “Suck My Dick”

8. Imagine Dragons, Lil Wayne, Logic, Ty Dolla $ign, Wiz Khalifa, “Sucker for Pain” (Ft. X Ambassadors)

9. Regurgitator, “I Sucked a Lot of Cock to Get Where I Am”

10. Matt Rogers, “Suck on My Cock”

11. Arctic Monkeys, “Suck It and See”

12. Ezra Furman, “Suck the Blood From My Wound”

13. Wheeler Walker Jr., “Which One O’ You Queers Gonna Suck My Dick?”

14. Red Hot Chili Peppers, “Suck My Kiss”

15. Parliament, “Give Up The Funk (Tear The Roof Off The Sucker)”

1. COBRAH, “SUCK”

SUCCUBUS (EP) // Gagball AB / Atlantic // 2023

“Suck my clit / You’ll love it / Get down, sit / I insist.” Say what? Ooh-wee ! Bold and unapologetic opening lyrics COBRAH (Clara Blom Christiensen)! The Swedish musician describes her music as BSDM pop and gay workout music. Those excerpted lyrics from the fierce dance single, “SUCK” fit her description of her music. So does the hella groovy beat that is readymade for the dancefloor at the club. “SUCK” is the fourth track from her 2023 EP, SUCCUBUS. Christiensen penned “SUCK” alongside Hannes Roovers, Isaac Johan Edvin Hördegård, and Mats Norman. Medium (Roovers and Hördegård) produced this brief but potent song. It is sleek, sleek, sleek!

Sex is the modus operandi, PERIOD. The midnight heat is cooking! Importantly, COBRAH gives the okay for the sexual endeavors. Consent is key, particularly given how freaky things get (cunnilingus). Christiensen continues singing “Babe, eat my clit / You’ll love it / Give it a spit / I insist.” Holy $hi†! It doesn’t stop there. “Shit so great, we press record / And if I could, I‘d give awards,” she sings, adding, “Healthy juices flow like fjords / And when I cum, I waterboard.” Give it to Christiensen for the later lines – juices, cumming, fjords, waterboard! WOO! “SUCK” is not safe work in the least – don’t try it! But, after work, at the club, at home (with no kids), or at the gym with your earbuds, turn that freaky $hi† up!

Appears in :

COBRAH, SUCK: Midnight Heat 39 (2024)

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2. Jonas Brothers, “Sucker”

Happiness Begins // Jonas Brother Recording / Republic // 2019

“I’ve been dancing on top of cars and stumbling out of bars / I follow you through the dark, can’t get enough / You’re the medicine and the pain, the tattoo inside my brain / And, baby, you know it’s obvious.” Grammy-nominated pop bro trio Jonas Brothers shocked the world by making a comeback (Happiness Begins), which commenced with the enjoyable, love-centric single “Sucker”. The ‘short but sweet’ single is a win for Nick Jonas, Joe Jonas, and Kevin Jonas. “Sucker” features an infectious groove from the onset. Adding to the allure is some sick falsetto by Nick in the first verse, which occurs abruptly (“We go together / Better than birds of a feather, you and me…”). Set in a minor key, “Sucker” gives the Jo Bros more edge. It remains tongue-in-cheek, which reminisces back to their music of old, but certainly comes off less schmaltzy. Joe carries the weight on the aforementioned pre-chorus, with portions sung with Nick. Better than the pre-chorus is the memorable chorus. Here, we hear the silky-smooth vocals of Nick, once more delivered in a well-facilitated falsetto, at times joined by Joe.

“I’m a sucker for you, yeah

You say the word and I’ll go anywhere blindly

I’m a sucker for you, yeah

Any road you take, you know that you’ll find me…”

Appears in :

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3. Kelly Clarkson, “My Life Would Suck Without You”

All I Ever Wanted // 19 / RCA // 2009

“I know that I’ve got issues / But you’re pretty messed up too / Either way I found out / I’m nothin’ without you.” Sigh, we live and learn! What is the best way to begin a pop album? With a bubbly, feel-good, major key song. Grammy-winning pop superstar Kelly Clarkson began her 2009 album, All I Ever Wanted, with a bang. While Clarkson and her boyfriend experience a ‘bump in the road’ in “My Life Would Suck Without You,” they ultimately end up together again. “‘Cause we belong together now, yeah / Forever united here somehow, yeah,” she sings in the crowning achievement, the chorus. She continues, enthusiastically, “You got a piece of me / And honestly / My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you.” PERIOD, Kelly! Positive, feel-good, and undeniably catchy, this former no. 1, Billboard Hot 100 hit makes the rainiest, saddest day happy. “My Life Would Suck Without You” was written by Claude Kelly and producers Max Martin and Dr. Luke. The result is one of the crème de la crème of the Kelly Clarkson collection, as well as one of the best songs of 2019.

Appears in :

Ranking the 20 Best Kelly Clarkson Songs (2018)

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4. Lil Baby, “No Sucker” (Ft. Moneybagg Yo)

My Turn // Quality Control Music // 2020

“Uh-oh, the game in trouble / Started off small, now they payin’ me double / Yeah, you can drip check, baby, like Mustard, yeah.” On “No Sucker,” the 12^th track on My Turn, Grammy-nominated rapper Lil Baby gets an assist from fellow rhyme spitter, Moneybagg Yo. Safe to say, neither artist is a sucker in the least! A surefire banger, the bars pack a punch like POW – “Go against me, get hash tagged!” While Lil Baby is the main attraction, and certainly hits here, arguably, Moneybagg Yo may be more refreshing in the context of My Turn, where we’ve heard an abundance of the lead artist.

“Water on water, rockin’ ice on the yacht

Bought a trap house and it came with a pot (Ugh, ugh)

The game in trouble like some badass childrens

Did they just really give me 80K for thirty minutes? Yup.”

Appears in :

Lollipop : 5ive Songs No. 21 (2021)

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5. Myylo, “Being Born Kinda Sucks”

Ahh // Myylo // 2022

“Am I loser or a winner? / Catholic priest say I’m a sinner.” “Being Born Kinda Sucks”! At least the opener from Ahh does not suck! LGBTQ pop singer/songwriter Myylo successfully blends pop/rock and pop-punk. Besides style and sound, the song stands out because it explores existentialism. He lays out his existential crisis for the world in the most fun way possible. The questions he asks himself are endless, such as “Am I hot or just average / What epithet’s my casket,” while the viable solutions seem harder to come by. This existential crisis makes the lyrics ‘all over the place’ which is the charm. Of course, the best sections are the repeated ones – pre-chorus and chorus – which highlight supreme confusion, mundaneness, etc. Also, we get an f-bomb for good measure (“I don’t know / What the fuck / Being born / Kinda sucks”). Myylo shows off his great voice, and perhaps, more impressively, his adventurous, songwriting spirit.

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6. Confetti, “People Suck”

“People Suck” // Confetti // 2018

From first-world problems to taking a shot at Donald Trump (“And Hillary sucks too”), “People Suck” is nothing short of awesome. This 2018 debut single by Confetti is a surefire bop: infectious and tongue-n-cheek. “I hate people, I hate people ‘cause people suck, man,” Confetti states in the intro, continuing, “People suck, and they keep on fucking sucking.” FACTS! After setting the tone, Confetti serves up the crowning achievement, the chorus. It’s not only fun but also gives the audience the chance to put their fists in the air, drop the bomb, and flip the bird.

“People suck, people suck, people suck…

They say what goes around comes back around

But sometimes, you get fucked

‘Cause people suck, people suck, people suck.”

The backdrop is a mix between pop, rock, and old-school hip-hop over a dusty beat. Perfect fuel for the fire. Confetti remains even keel, but the cleverness, hilarity, and truth of the lyrics pack a punch. For good measure, throughout the verses, some colorful, salty language is thrown in. “If you walking too slow, get out the way (Get out the way) / If you smell like BO, it’s not okay (Take a shower),” he asserts, continuing, “I got another parking ticket, I mean, are you fucking kidding? /Better get that stupid shit out of my face, man.” You always remember your first and “People Suck”, the debut single by Confetti is still a bop.

Appears in :

15 Riveting Songs About People (2021)

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7. Lil Kim, “Suck My Dick”

The Notorious K.I.M. // Atlantic // 2000

“All I wanna do is get my pussy sucked.” Woo! Perhaps if you look up the word unapologetic in the dictionary, Lil Kim’s pic will be there.  While her popularity has waned, Lil Kim was once quite popular and quite controversial. A perfect example of her unapologetic, controversial nature is her song, “Suck My Dick,” from The Notorious K.I.M. released in 2000. The lyrics are chocked full of filth – and sex of course. A perfect example:

“Bum bitches know better than to start shit

Niggas love a hard bitch

One that get up in a nigga’s ass quicker than an enema

Make a cat bleed then sprinkle it with vinegar.”

She doesn’t stop with enemas. She goes on to assert: “Kim got him in a zone, beatin’ they dicks / Even got some of these straight chicks rubbin’ their tits…” Oh, there’s more: “Got the camcord layin’ in the drawer where he can’t see / Can’t wait to show my girls he sucked the piss out my pussy.”

Appears in :

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8. Imagine Dragons, Lil Wayne, Logic, Ty Dolla $ign, Wiz Khalifa, “Sucker for Pain” (Ft. X Ambassadors)

***Suicide Squad*: The Album // Atlantic // 2016**

“I’m a slave to your games (I’m just a sucker for pain) / I wanna chain you up, I wanna tie you down / Oh, I’m just a sucker for pain,” Dan Reynolds sings. Ooh-wee! Okay, two key points. First of all, there is no shortage of musical artists who appear on “Sucker for Pain”, a main attraction from Suicide Squad: The Album, the soundtrack to the 2016 film. With Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, Imagine Dragons, Logic, Ty Dolla $ign, and X Ambassadors, that’s a lot of “Mouths to Feed” (or more accurately, people to pay). Secondly, all of them are “suckers for pain,” of course! Fueled by an Alex da Kid production, it works out painlessly.

“I’m a sucker for pain / I got the squad tatted on me from my neck to my ankles,” Ty Dolla $ign raps/sings in the first verse. He does have a lot of tattoos. Logic takes the reins in the second verse (“I been rollin’ with my team, we the illest on the scene”). Lil Wayne shines in the third (“ And I’m a sucker for pain, it ain’t nuttin’ but pain / You just fuckin’ complain, you ain’t tough as you claim”) while Wiz Khalifa directly follows in the fourth and final verse (“No emotion, that’s what business is / Lord have mercy on the witnesses”). “Sucker for Pain” is fitting in terms of the film. It’s also respectable beyond it. Though this star-studded affair isn’t a game changer, it was easy to be suckered into listening to it repeatedly in 2016. Also, a spin or two, nearing a decade later isn’t unrealistic . “Sucker for Pain” was certified multiplatinum and peaked at no. 15 on the Billboard Hot 100. Nothing painful or sucky about that!

Appears in :

Lollipop : 5ive Songs No. 21 (2021)

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9. Regurgitator, “I Sucked a Lot of Cock to Get Where I Am”

Regurgitator // Tu-Plang // Warner Music Australia Pty Limited // 1996 

“I Sucked a Lot of Cock to Get Where I Am”. Hmm, now let’s unpack that, shall we ?! The title of this Regurgitator track speaks for itself. No explanation is necessary to explain why there’s a degree of controversy.  Though, if it needs to be spelled out, “I Sucked a Lot of Cock to Get Where I Am” references a sex act, more formally known as fellatio.  Of course, most people aren’t that formal .  The title, hence, is enough to awaken the conservatives and censors something fierce.  Furthermore, the lyrics, unsurprisingly, don’t shy away from the job being referenced. Throw in a male frontman, Quan Yeomans, singing about this particular sex act, and there’s also a hint of gayness added to the mix (Yeomans is not gay, btw). 

The thing is this cocksucking is metaphorical.  Shock value is part of the Australian band’s calling card.  Look beyond this NSFW act, enjoyed by many , and Regurgitator depicted what it took to make it in the music business. “I sucked a lot of cock to get where I am / I only wanna be the best I can,” Yeomans sings, continuing, “My mouth is stained / I get no complaints / Just keep on rinsing out again and again.” Umm… well… how does one even respond? There are more colorful lyrics too: “I’m the suck up to beat / I sucked more cock / You can get what you need / Just get down on your knees.” WOO! For good measure: “Your smile is stretching / But you’re gonna go far.” All told, the messaging of “I Sucked a Lot of Cock to Get Where I Am” isn’t the least bit controversial – some folks will do whatever it takes to reach a goal, in this case, success in the cutthroat music industry. 

Appears in :

Regurgitator, I Sucked a Lot of Cock to Get Where I Am: Controversial Tunes 17 (2023)

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10. Matt Rogers, “Suck on My Cock”

Rated Xmas // DistroKid // 1997

“You’ll have to open more / To gasp your last breath before I shoot my cream.” Excuse me?! After listening to “Suck on My Cock”, you’ll never think of the Christmas carol, “Jingle Bell Rock” the same. In 1997, Matt Rogers jacked the instrumental and tune of the beloved classic. He turned it into a filthy, NSFW parody. No deep intensive analysis is necessary as “Suck on My Cock” doesn’t go very deep, well, unless you’re talking about deep throat… From the beginning, the lyrics are horny and perverted AF. “Stroke on my, lick on my, suck on my cock,” he sings, providing further directions: “Unzip me, and strip me, and show me you care / Don’t go rippin’ out my pubic hair.” Yikes.

Rogers doesn’t end the sexed-up lyrics after one verse. Informing her to get on her knees and “Start licking and slurping, my dick will get firm / Soon you’ll be tasting sperm.” Holy sugar honey iced tea! Keep listening or scrolling down the lyrics and the sexually explicit cringe continues. Take verse three for example: “Faster now, deeper now, into your throat / The secret is not to choke.” At least Rogers concludes the sus “Suck on My Cock” with gratitude: “Thanks for strokin’ my / Thanks for lickin’ my / Thanks for suckin’ my cock.” Oh, brother!

Appears in :

Matt Rogers, Suck on My Cock: Midnight Heat 54 (2024)

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11. Arctic Monkeys, “Suck it and See”

Suck it and See // Domino // 2011

“Suck it and see, you never know…” Wow, that’s some serious sexual innuendo there Alex Turner… or is it? In all honesty, the innuendo is pronounced on “Suck it and See,” the penultimate number from Grammy-nominated alternative collective Arctic Monkeys’ 2011 album Suck it and See, but Turner isn’t quite as ‘pervy’ as the title suggests without context. If you’re not British, maybe you failed to understand what the informal British idiom “suck it and see” means – “to try something in order to find out if it is good, effective, etc.”

“Your love is like a studded leather headlock / Your kiss, it could put creases in the rain…” Wow… Now that you understand that Alex Turner isn’t being a total ‘horn dog,’ you should know that he is infatuated with a particular girl who’s not giving him the ‘time of day.’ That said, he urges her on the chorus to “Be cruel to me ‘cause I am a fool for you.” In other words, he’s turned on by her even when she treats him meanly. One of the best lines from this Arctic Monkeys gem comes in the second verse: “That’s not a skirt, girl, that’s a sawn-off shotgun / And I can only hope you’ve got it aimed at me.”

Appears in :

Songs That Require Sharp Sight to See, Vol. 2 (2019)

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12. Ezra Furman, “Suck The Blood From My Wound”

Transangelic Exodus // Bella Union // 2018

Transgender rock musician Ezra Furman (she/they pronouns, formerly identified as gender fluid) has a cult following. Self-described as a ‘Queer Outlaw Saga,’ their 2018 album, Transangelic Exodus, is underrated but quite special. “I woke up bleeding in the crotch of a tree,” they sing in the phenomenal album opener, “Suck the Blood from My Wound”. Furman sings with incredible grit, delivering their concept of transangelicism.

“Blood on my angel’s lips blends with his make-up

… Peeling off bandages to unfold his wings

The doctors said they’d have to stay on for another three weeks

Fuck it, baby, let ‘em bruise, let ‘em break

But bleed, let ‘em bleed.”

Sure, Furman has a concept in mind, but more relatable, “Suck the Blood from My Wound” encompasses body transformation, a prevalent social issue, generally, and specifically to the trans community.

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13. Wheeler Walker Jr., “Which One O’ You Queers Gonna Suck My Dick?”

Redneck Shit // Pepperhill Music // 2016

“Feelin’ frisky on a Friday night / But there ain’t no pussy in the bar tonight.” Uh-oh, where are you going with this Wheeler Walker Jr.? “A lot of guys givin’ me the eye / So, I might as well give this a try.” An open mind is the best kind. That said, how interested, legitimately, is the comedic country musician in gay men in the song, “Which One O’ You Queers Gonna Suck My Dick?” It seems that the only thing he cares about is a quickie via a blow job. Gender is unimportant. “Which One O’ You Queers Gonna Suck My Dick?”, the concluding track on his 2016 album, Redneck Shit, features energetic accompaniment and a quick tempo. Vocally, Walker Jr. is carefree and playful in his performance. Again, he just wants some action, NSA. Ultimately, “Which One O’ You Queers Gonna Suck My Dick?” is a song that is best taken with a grain of salt. Is it problematic? Probably. Walker Jr. isn’t nuanced in navigating the sex act. See the chorus: “I need some action / And I need it quick / Which one o’ you queers gonna suck my dick?” It is what it is. At least he shows gratitude at the end after, um, releasing: “That was a good fucking blowjob brother / I like this bar.”

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14. Red Hot Chili Peppers, “Suck My Kiss”

Blood Sugar Sex Magik // Warner // 1991

“Shoulda been, coulda been, shoulda been dead / If I didn’t get the message goin’ to my head.” Anthony Kiedis is honest and transparent in “Suck My Kiss”. The Red Hot Chili Peppers frontman adds in the first verse of the Blood Sugar Sex Magik highlight, “I am what I am / Most motherfuckers don’t give a damn.” Ooh-wee, Anthony! For good measure, he drops the MF bomb later in the verse. As intriguing as his swearing is, the sexual nature of “Suck My Kiss” is most captivating.

“Someone full of fun do me ‘til I’m well done / Little Bo Peep comin’ from my stun gun.” Dirty! It doesn’t stop with comin’ either. In the second verse, he playfully sings, “Chicka chicka dee, do me like a banshee.” A banshee screams, which is what Anthony wants her to do when they’re having sex. Horny as albeit, he wants some badly: “Hit me, you can’t hurt me, suck my kiss / Kiss me, please pervert me, stick with this.” Damn! Besides the entertaining lyrics and Kiedis’ terrific vocals, the music is fantastic. The band is in the pocket with their infectious, funky brand of rock. The drums (Chad Smith) groove hard, the bass (Flea) is active, funky, and robust, while John Frusciante kills it on guitar. RHCP constructed a gem. Rick Rubin poured in his expertise in the production seat. “Suck My Kiss” is one of the most badass, ‘sucking’ songs of all time!

Appears in :

Red Hot Chili Peppers, Suck My Kiss: Bangerz N Bopz 53 (2024)

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15. Parliament, “Give Up The Funk (Tear The Roof Off The Sucker)”

Mothership Connection // The Island Def Jam Music Group // 1975 

“Tear the roof off, we’re gonna tear the roof off the mothersucker /  Tear the roof off the sucker.” Woo! George Clinton and Parliament delivered one of the funkiest tunes ever with “Give Up The Funk (Tear the Roof off the Sucker)”. “Give Up The Funk (Tear the Roof off the Sucker)” appears on the collective’s 1975, platinum-certified album,  Mothership Connection.  The single marks the highest charting by the band, cracking the Top 20 (peaked at no. 15 on the Billboard Hot 100) and being certified gold.  “You’ve got a real type of thing going down, gettin’ down / There’s a whole lot of rhythm going round.” Indeed, indeed! 

While Mothership Connection and “Give Up The Funk (Tear the Roof off the Sucker)” has a conceptual element, most folks enjoy and judge this song as a crowning achievement of funk music.  The psychedelic sounds within the production, the groove, and the active bass line are ear-catching to the nth degree. Furthermore, the lyrics are infectious – simple but memorable upon first listen.  “Ow, we want the funk / Give up the funk / Ow, we need the funk / We gotta have the funk” marks one of the crème de la crème lyrical moments.  Another top-rate moment: “We’re gonna turn this mother out.” Abso-freaking-lutely, Parliament!  Dig into the conceptual aspects if you will, but ultimately, “Give Up The Funk (Tear the Roof off the Sucker)” is best enjoyed without extensive analysis.  It’s funky AF!    

Appears in :

~ Table of Contents ~ // ~ intro ~

15 SUCK Songs That Do Not SUCK (2024) [: Brent Faulkner / The Musical Hype; 19, Atlantic, Bella Union, Gagball AB, The Island Def Jam Music Group, Jonas Brother Recording, Pepperhill Music, Quality Control Music, RCA, Republic, Warner, Warner Music Australia Pty Limited; Matheus Bertelli from Pexels; Clker-Free-Vector-Images, David, OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay]

15 SUCK Songs That Do Not SUCK | Playlist

Published by the musical hype on July 19, 2024July 19, 2024