11 Worst Songs of 2023 | Playlist 🎧

11 Worst Songs of 2023 features music courtesy of Jason Aldean, Meghan Trainor, Morgan Wallen, Oliver Anthony, and Pardison Fontaine.

If you’re reading this on December 25, 2023, well, Merry Christmas! If not, it’s just as well, as these 11 songs WON’T make you merry in the least.  Why? Well, they’ve been selected as the bottom of the barrel in 2023 – the WORST SONGS OF 2023! 11 Worst Songs of 2023 features music courtesy of Jason Aldean, Meghan Trainor, Morgan Wallen, Oliver Anthony, and Pardison Fontaine among others. Perhaps some of these songs do or did tickle your fancy, but as for me and my ears, they didn’t get it done, sis! So without further ado, let’s jump into the utmost mediocrity, shall we?!

11. Jonas Brothers, “Waffle House”

💿 The Album • 🏷 Jonas Brothers Recording / Republic • 🗓 2023 

“No, don’t get stressed, it’s gon’ get figured out.” Okay, fair enough Jonas Brothers, but where? “Oh, deep conversation at the Waffle House.” A deep conversation at The Waffle House… Yeah, the math ain’t mathin’ for me on “Waffle House”, the second single from The Album. “Waffle House” taps into a 1970s aesthetic –Michael McDonald and Bee Gees territory as Nick Jonas describes. Joe Jonas performs the first verse, pre-chorus, and chorus.  In the first verse, he speaks to a level of competition between the brothers/band members. Nick echoes a similar sentiment in the second.  Despite this, the brothers “Know before the night ends,” “It’s gon’ get figured out.” Furthermore, in the intriguing chorus, “Headstrong father and a determined mother / Oh, that’s why some nights we tried to kill each other / But you know it’s always love.” The theme of the song is okay.  Vocally, Joe and Nick sound respectable.  There are ten songwriters and five producers… Lots of cooks in the kitchen, particularly considering  “Waffle House” is far from being the most appetizing single of 2023 by any means. Not the worst of the worst per se, but the Jo Bros have done better.

Appears in 🔻:

• Oh, The Places You’ll Go (2023)

10. Sam Smith & Madonna, “Vulgar”

🎵 “Vulgar” • 🏷 Capitol / EMI • 🗓 2023

“Vulgar / Speak, bitch, and say our fucking names / It’s Sam and Madonna.” Hmm… It would seem a collaboration between Sam Smith and Madonna would be utterly fire.  Instead, “Vulgar” leaves more to be desired. Given Smith’s unholiness, are we surprised by their vulgarity, particularly with one of music’s most controversial icons? Of course not. That said, if “Unholy” were considered devilish, “Vulgar” is far worse, doubling down with its explicitness. To its credit, “Vulgar” features colorful production (Smith, ILYA, Cirkut, Omer Fedi , and Ryan Tedder) that is fitting for a risqué pop joint.  Most of the first verse belongs to a confident Smith. “Rich like I’m in the Louvre, got nothin’ left to prove,” they sing (rather rap), adding, “You know you’re beautiful when they call you vulgar.” Madonna is the most vulgar: “Boy, get down on your knees ‘cause I am Madonna / If you fuck with Sam tonight, you’re fucking with me / So watch what you say, or I’ll split your banana.” They join forces for much of the bridge, where “Vulgar is beautiful, filthy, and gorgeous.” Furthermore, Madge informs us how to spell her name: “B-I-T-C-H / Go fuck yourself, you heard me bitch / Say our fucking names.” Damn! Looking back on “Vulgar,” it did neither artist any favors for their career at this point.  It also did nothing to enhance our playlists.

9. Pardison Fontaine, “Thee Person”

🎵 “Thee Person” • 🏷 Section 8 Format • 📅 2023

“Fuck awards that you won, money you got, clothes that you wearing / A whole lot happened in these last two years, but this is the part that you sharing.” Oh, snap! Sometimes, it’s best NOT to say anything, PERIOD.  Rapper Pardison Fontaine, the ex-boyfriend of Grammy-winning rapper, Megan Thee Stallion, seemed to miss that memo.

“Got lipo then you started posting gym pics

The things that you’re doing is sadistic

Spent four hours doin’ glam, not a blemish

But your foundation is off, you need to fix it

Clean up your spirit and not just your image.”

Yuck… Fontaine clearly couldn’t control himself on “Thee Person,” a record that ‘attempts’ to clap back at his ex’s accusatory song, “Cobra” (one of the best songs of 2023, btw).  For some context, in “Cobra,” Megan alleges cheating, yet never explicitly mentions Fontaine.  Fontaine, incensed, proceeds to whine about her for nearly five minutes. “Went on TV and then lied to Gayle King /I found out with the rest of the world,” and how about, “You know how the devil was a serpent / for some streams and views, girl, I hope it was worth it / This ain’t for Megan Thee Stallion / This is for Meghan Thee person.” Ultimately, “Thee Person” is nothing short of a hard NO – more like a HELL NO.  Thank you, but totally, no thank you – NEXT! 

8. will.i.am & Britney Spears, “Mind Your Business”

🎵 “MIND YOUR BUSINESS” • 🏷 will.i.am, LLC / Epic • 🗓 2023 

“Mind your business, bitch.” WOO! Coming in hot, Britney Spears! Spears collaborates with will.i.am on the unreleased single, “MIND YOUR BUSINESS” which dates back to the 2010s. “MIND YOUR BUSINESS” is quirky – polarizing and NOT good enough for a superstar like Spears.  The repetition doesn’t help – “Where she at? Where she at? Where she at? Where she at? Where she at?” and, the chorus, “Mind your B, mind your B, mind your B, mind your B…” WOO! “MIND YOUR BUSINESS” is produced by will.i.am and Johnny Goldstein. Sound-wise, it’s reminiscent of will.i.am’s productions popular back in the 00s and 10s.  The sound is a tad bit dated. Even though the backdrop is unusual, there are some interesting musical cues, including the synths and the way the background vocals are used, particularly on the word, bitch. A clear pro is the attitude that Spears brings to the track.  Her performance is gimmicky and tongue-in-cheek. All told, “MIND YOUR BUSINESS” doesn’t  sound like vintage Britney. Both artists have released far better and more memorable songs.   

7. Cher, “DJ Play A Christmas Song”

💿 Christmas • 🏷 Warner • 🗓 2023

Cher = icon.  Cher’s new Christmas original, 🎵 “DJ Play A Christmas Song” from Christmas is… sus. To be fair, The expectations for the 77 year old aren’t through the roof – she proved herself long ago. Still, “DJ Play A Christmas Song” was a surefire mix.  She has plenty of talent in her corner. “DJ Play A Christmas Song” was written by Leland (Brett McLaughlin), JHart, jesse saint john, Lionel Crasta, Mark Schick, and Sarah Hudson.  It was produced by Mark Taylor, who concocts a familiar,  electro pop backdrop we’ve associated with Cher – rhythmic synths and a pounding dance beat. Despite talented individuals collaborating with the icon, the song falls short. The vocals sound sus.  There far too many effects, and I question the quality, particularly in the verses… The songwriting comes from a good place – one of the necessity for joy in the most wonderful time of the year –  but still feels a bit  flimsy. There’s an abrupt key change prior to the final chorus. It would’ve been nice to have had there been more momentum leading up to the modulation or a transitional chord. Cher is and will always be an icon.  However “DJ Play A Christmas Song” is a NO from me dawg.

6. Morgan Wallen, “Last Night”

💿 One Thing at A Time • 🏷 Big Loud / Mercury / Republic • 📅 2023 

“I know that last night, we let the liquor talk  / I can’t remember everything we said, but we said it all.” Ugh, ugh, ugh! For the love of God, someone please explain to me why “Last Night” by Morgan Wallen was a no. 1 hit on the Billboard Hot 100.  Furthermore, please explain to me why this pop-infused country single spent 16 weeks at no. 1, matching the iconic run of Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men “One Sweet Day”! Surprising to the nth degree! In my opinion, there are far better country songs than “Last Night” that didn’t even come close to topping the pop charts.  “Last Night” is respectable, I suppose (there have been far worse songs, obviously) but as many times as I’ve listened to it, I still don’t hear dominant no. 1 pop hit that I freely wanna spin over and over. Overplayed and overrated! Of course, Wallen’s music isn’t aimed toward me, but still, there were better country songs in 2023.  At least give him credit for the lyric, “I know you packed your shit and slammed the door right before you / But, baby, baby, something’s tellin’ me this ain’t over yet.” Hmm, well, my time spent with “Last Night” is indeed OVER Mr. Wallen! It’s NO for me!

5. Meghan Trainor, “Mother” 

💿 Takin’ It Back (Deluxe) • 🏷 Epic • 🗓 2023

“I am your mother… / You listen to me.” Grammy-winning pop star Meghan Trainor released the deluxe edition of her fourth studio album, Takin’ It Back, in 2023.  Prior to the arrival of the deluxe, one of the biggest talking points was “Mother”, and for good reason! “Mother” is… something! In the intro, prior to Meghan asserting she’s a mother, the assertion is made, via a TikTok vid sample, “The fact that Meghan Trainor is literally mother right now.” Mother itself is used literally and as a queer term 🌈. As far as the literal meaning, Trainor is a mom, and interestingly, “Mother” samples a lullaby: “Mr. Sandman” by The Chordettes.  This sample gives “Mother” a retro-pop sensibility which is idiomatic of her work throughout her career.  Besides the retro-pop vibes, there are also modern pop vibes as well (Justin Trainor and Gian Stone produce).  The record is incredibly gimmicky, particularly when Trainor quotes “Mr. Sandman” with the repetitive “bum-bum-bum(s).”  Trainor is calling some men, who act anti-feminist and ‘mansplain’ as bums.  Her man, of course, is no bum, as Trainor asserts, “Y’all need a masterclass from my man / Learn how to satisfy like he can.” Wow! While some relevant points are made on “Mother,” the song itself is corny, schmaltzy… sus.

Appears in 🔻:   

• Mother: 3 to 5 BOPS No. 21 (2023)
• 15 Songs Where Great Sampling Fuels the Fire (2023)

4. Forgiato Blow, Jimmy Levy, Nick Nittoli & Stoney Dudebro, “Boycott Target”

🎵 “Boycott Target” • 🏷 YMS • 📅 2023 

“Attention all shoppers, attention all shoppers / There’s a cleanup on every aisle / Target is targeting all your kids.” Oh my! I’ve never went a store where every aisle required a cleanup! There is nothing more cringe than MAGA… rappers, PERIOD.  Forgiato Blow, Jimmy Levy, Nick Nittoli and Stoney Dudebro deserve a big-time side eye. (or middle fingers) based on the hot garbage they recorded with “Boycott Target.” Of course, fueling the fire of this boycott is homophobia – fear of the LGBTQ 🏳️‍🌈! A prime example:

“You know that Target’s dead wrong

Tryin’ to play with these kids

It’s the mayor of MAGA-ville

I’m preaching again

You know the LGBTQ, done went too far

You know they cuttin’ these kids

They leavin’ trannies with scars.”

UGH! Target specifically has been renowned for its PRIDE collection during June, which is PRIDE month.  However, modifications were made to Target’s PRIDE because of backlash – you can figure out why. Many conservative, narrow-minded folks are hella bothered by PRIDE, and feel like stores like Target promote a gay agenda which influences the kids. And of course, we already know, Gen Z is far gayer than previous generations. Essentially, on this shitty 🫢 rap song, these homophobes are boycotting anything that the LGBTQ+ community or allies might have a hand in.  This is easily one of the worst songs of 2023, PERIOD! EXCLAMATION!

3. Oliver Anthony, “Rich Men North of Richmond”

🎵 “Rich Men North of Richmond” • 🏷 DistroKid • 🗓 2023 

I’ve been sellin’ my soul, workin’ all day / Overtime hours for bullshit pay… ” Oh, shit, it’s another political song that draws my ire! Let’s cut straight to the chase.  “Rich Men North of Richmond” by Oliver Anthony (Oliver Anthony Music, technically) made a gargantuan splash in 2023. Anthony made the ears of conservative, right-wingers, and many disgruntled Americans perk up with his raw, blue collar country song. Personally, I never felt as moved by “Rich Men North of Richmond,” which refers to politicians in Washington DC, which is north of Richmond, Virginia. While initially “Rich Men North of Richmond” was fueled by the right as an anti-left anthem, Anthony wasn’t merely referring to the liberals! 

“It’s a damn shame what the world’s gotten to / For people like me and people like you.” Throughout the course of “Rich Men North of Richmond,” Anthony serves up authentic, expressive vocals. He has a raw, rough around the edges sound. As the excerpted lyrics suggest, he is brutally honest, intact with some salty language.  One of the most colorful moments occurs in the third verse:  “Well, God, if you’re 5-foot-3 and you’re 300 pounds / Taxes ought not to pay for your bags of Fudge Rounds / Young men are puttin’ themselves six feet in the ground / Cause all this damn country does is keep on kickin’ them down.”  Even months after shockingly reaching no. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100, “Rich Men North or Richmond” remains polarizing. It has its moments, but, did Oliver ever offer any valid next steps beyond ranting?

2. Donald J. Trump & J6 Prison Choir, “Justice for All”

🎵 “Justice for All” • 🏷 J6 Prison Choir / Donald J. Trump • 📅 2023

Admittedly, I consider myself progressive, so songs that lean conservatively aren’t my cup of tea (Note: you can already see that trend on this list). You could argue, “Justice for All,” a collaboration between Donald J. Trump, aka the 45^th President of the United States, and J6 Prison Choir was NEVER going to tickle my fancy.  That is probably 99.9% true. Still, even if you identify as a staunch Republican, surely, SURELY your musical tastes are more refined than this hot garbage. In this case, the politics don’t matter because “Justice for All” is nothing short of a hot mess.  The choir sings stanzas of “The Star Spangled Banner” with Trump performing excerpts from The Pledge of Allegiance in between.  It’s bizarre to be honest, and that’s being kind.  There is nothing wrong with patriotism – it should be celebrated.  That said, there’s a much better way to do it than “Justice for All” could ever hope to do.

1. Jason Aldean, “Try That in a Small Town”

💿 Highway Desperado • 🏷 Macon Music, LLC • 🗓 2023

And the worst song of 2023 goes to… Jason Aldean for his horrible, disappointing Billboard Hot 100 no. 1 hit, “Try That in A Small Town” (Highway Desperado).  While the intent seems to be about the beauty of the small town – morals, togetherness, and a lack of controversy – it’s the missteps that are the downfall of this song. It begins with “Sucker punch somebody on a sidewalk,” which, morally, most would agree this is wrong.  However, that lyric, referencing the knockout game, unveils an urban myth statistically –fearmongering with a “racially motivated history” per Insider. Later, Aldean sings, “Cuss out a cop, spit in his face / Stomp on the flag and light up / Yeah, ya think you’re tough.” He speaks about the importance of respecting the men in blue and honoring the flag. Those lyrics don’t sound malicious but, it should be noted, coupled with the video, the lyrics write-off protest, which for many Americans, is an important means to enact change. The music video highlights protest footage, painting it in a negative light, hence, discounting what cause people are fighting for.  There are more examples of problematic elements within the song, including internal justice and exclusivity as opposed to inclusivity (close-minded-ness). “Try that in a small town / See how far ya make it down the road,” he threatens, adding, “‘Round here, we take care of our own / You cross the line, it won’t take long / For you to find out, I recommend you don’t.” 

The biggest issues with “Try That In A Small Town” is the video. The worst part is the dark history that Aldean conjures up with the video: Black Lives Matters protests projected on a Tennessee courthouse where a black teen was lynched in 1927.  Not cool.  Furthermore, showing Black Lives Matter scenes in a negative light makes some question if he is indeed racist. Notably, given the lack of clearance for the footage, the Black Lives Matter scenes were edited out. A host of folks have cancelled Aldean given the protest/police brutality footage, and CMT removed the video. Even so, Aldean’s song has been a huge success, a prime example of doubling down and the fact that controversy sells. “Try That in A Small Town” has earned its place in controversial tune history.  The music video carries the brunt, however, Aldean is not absolved – he’s had his share of controversy.  Even with a slew of other cringe-worthy tunes on this list, Jason Aldean easily wins the prize for the worst.

Appears in 🔻:   

• Jason Aldean, Try That in A Small Town: Controversial Tunes 😈🎶 19 (2023)
• 13 Unapologetic, Controversial Tunes, Vol. 2 (2023)
• 11 Songs That Make You Wanna Try (2023) 

11 Worst Songs of 2023 [📷: Brent Faulkner / The Musical Hype; Big Loud, Capitol, DistroKid, Donald J. Trump, EMI, Epic, J6 Prison Choir, Jonas Brothers Recording, Macon Music, LLC, Mercury, Republic,  Section 8 Format, will.i.am, LLC, YMS; Alana Jordan, Jawad Ali, Myriam – No AI pictures in my gallery.,  rafiq23, Sammy-Sander, Yogendra Singh from Pixabay]