Reading Time: 10 min read

10 Hella Muscular, Muscle Songs (2024) [📷: Brent Faulkner / The Musical Hype; 宇宙无敌 Daddy, Avinash Salunke, Mike González, Mohammad Ubaid, from Pexels; KERBSTONE, Malkhai Cora from Pixabay]10 Hella Muscular, Muscle Songs features music courtesy of Alice Cooper, Diana Ross, DJ Muscleboy, KAMILLE, and Years & Years.

Ugh, I wish I had his… muscles…. Or, if I can’t have them physically on my own body without a substantial workout, maybe, just maybe, I could have them otherwise 😈. Catch my drift 😍 🤭? I would say that’s enough objectification of the male physique for one introduction of a playlist but, this list is built on objectification – well – in some instances.

The key word is muscle and all 10 of the songs on 10 Hella Muscular, Muscle Songs are ripped AF! 10 Hella Muscular, Muscle Songs features music courtesy of Alice Cooper, Diana Ross, DJ Muscleboy, KAMILLE, and Years & Years among others. So, whether you’re lacking in the muscle department, or you’re fit and toned like that model you lust after on the regular, you can get in on the muscular experience with 10 Hella Muscular, Muscle Songs! 


1. Years & Years, “Muscle”   

💿Night Call • 🏷 Polydor • 🗓 2022 

Years & Years, Night Call [📷: Polydor]“All the lights are focused on you / I can hear applause as your body talks.” Ooh-la-la! Please continue, Years & Years aka Olly Alexander! “Rumor has it you’re on the loose / What do you adore? / Shall we both explore this fantasy?” On “Muscle”, sex is clearly on Alexander’s mind: “Don’t leave me now, stay at the party / I don’t wanna leave without your body.” “Muscle” appears on the deluxe editions of Night Call, the third studio album by the British synthpop act. Notably, Alexander wrote “Muscle” with Stephen Wrabel (aka Wrabel) and  Joel Little (Little produces as well). 

In the chorus, Alexander plays around with the notion of muscles.  Obviously, there’s a male objectification piece, in addition to strength, and perhaps, a different muscle.     

“Say you’re gonna pick me up    

Never gonna put me down    

Are you getting me into trouble?    

Look at all that, that muscle    

Oh, I wanna take a bite    

And I wanna take it now    

‘Cause I wanna get into trouble    

Look at all that, that, all that muscle.”         

Clearly, Olly is enticed by this muscled-up hunk – who wouldn’t be? When providing commentary about the song, Alexander notes gay gym culture and George Michael’s expression of sexual desire as inspiration.  He also mentions wanting “to reference house music but have my fun gay spin on it.” Y&Y successfully achieves the intended effect. As always, Alexander sings superbly and gets a big-time lift from the sleek production work of Little.  The only thing that would make “Muscle” better would be a killer music video, filled with buff, muscled dudes, of course!      

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2. Diana Ross, “Muscles” 

💿 Silk Electric🏷 RCA • 📅 1982

Diana Ross, Silk Electric [📷: RCA]“They say they have to see / His real personality / But that’s alright for them / Still it ain’t enough for me.” Hmm, Diana Ross desires ‘more’ out of her men. Clearly, the iconic singer is thinking physically on “Muscles”.  Honestly, that’s what she wants: “I want muscles / All over his body.” It’s not unusual to hear songs that focus on physical attraction, particularly arriving beyond 1982, but, what makes this opener from Silk Electric compelling is the fact that it’s almost approached backwards.  How so? Well, typically, the antagonists in the song narrative would focus on a physical connection while the ‘protagonist’ is ‘better’ and ‘deeper.’ focusing on an emotional bond. Looks, hence, would be secondary.  In this case, most women (not antagonists, of course) want the personality and ‘deeper’ things, while Ross wants that banging, gym bod, like #FLEX Adonis!

A prime example of the importance of attractiveness to Ross: “I don’t care if he’s young or old / Just make him beautiful / I just want some strong man to hold on to / I want muscles.”  To her credit, on this Michael Jackson (!) penned and produced gem, age isn’t a factor.  Still, beauty is! Jackson gives Ross a radiant backdrop to work with, including keys and strings.  Vocally, Diana never forces the issues, bringing the sexiness with her calm, cool, and collected vocals.  “Muscles” earned Ross on of her 12 top-10 hits, peaking at no. 10 on the Billboard Hot 100.  Sadly, this icon has never won a Grammy. Bummer!   

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3. Matt McGhee, “Muscle Memory” 

💿 Everything Starts from Now 🏷 Matt McGhee / GRAM Intl. 📅 2020

Matt McGhee, Everything Starts from Now [📷: Matt McGhee / GRAM Intl.]“If I died, I haven’t lived a holy life / Hell for sure’s the only place I’m going, right?” Well, if that’s what you believe, Matt McGhee. That said, considering you’re still alive and well, you can still repent if you’d like, right? Interestingly, on the ‘muscular’ “Muscle Memory,” the rapper never mentions muscles.  Clearly, muscle memory is implied, such as in the repetitive hook: “Loving you is like second nature.” In the second verse, McGhee emphasizes ‘the need.’ How do we know? Well, the man says the word like a million times! Why does he need so much? He’s infatuated.  Remember, that muscle memory he alludes to in the hook.

“I need you like I need health 

I need you like I need silence 

I need you like I need focus 

I really need you to notice.” 

Intriguing to say the least.  Unlike Years & Years, those muscles you attain by putting in work at the gym don’t seem to faze Matt McGhee.   


4. Issy Wood, “Muscle” 

💿 If It’s Any Constellation (EP) 🏷 Zelig Music, LLC 📅 2021 

Issy Wood, If It’s Any Constellation (EP) [📷: Zelig Music, LLC]Question: “Can you tell I’ve been building muscle?” Well, if you been getting that workout grind on at the gym – good for you (I need to 😬)! Of course, Issy Wood isn’t really focused on her biceps, triceps, and such. NO, she’s focused on toughness on “Muscle,” a two-and-a-half-minute gem from her 2021 EP, If It’s Any Constellation.  “I know I’m tough, but I have to make sure / I can do things you don’t have the guts for.” Oh snap! In the second verse, Issy Wood asserts, “I wanna muscle into your bad dreams / And you can tell me you’re glad to have me.” Hmm, not sure how you muscle into bad dreams, but again, Wood isn’t being literal. Basically, things are sketchy, as illustrated by the chorus.  There are numerous clever, ear catching one-liners, such as “I corrode, and all my muscles go to sleep” and “When all the trust / I’ve built up comes back to bite me in my sleep!” Woo, them muscles! One of my favorite lines from this low-key yet potent alt-pop record: “I’m worried if I move my face / Oh, that it might get stuck that way / But under the muscle, we’re all the same, oh.” True dat, Issy!


5. Trippie Redd & Ft. Lil Durk, “MUSCLES” 

💿 MANSION MUSIK 🏷 1400 Entertainment, Inc. / 10K Projects • 📅 2023

Trippie Redd, Mansion Musik [📷: 1400 Entertainment, Inc. / 10K Projects]“Gang in this bitch, better not move a muscle, yeah / Chopper bullets rain, I don’t like to tussle.” Trippie Redd did not come to play around on “MUSCLES,” the 10th track from his 2023 album, MANSION MUSIK. The rapper keeps its explicit, unapologetic and violent throughout the chorus and the first verse. So, what type of shit is Trippie dishing out? “Smackdown, fuck that bitch in a steel cage / Feel invincible, I beat his ass, Johnny Cage.” Holy shit, Trippie! Of course, he collaborates with Grammy-nominated rapper, Lil Durk who brings his own share of toughness over this UK24 / star boy / Igor Mamet / Bacon and Popcorn / HNRZHUNTER produced joint.  Case in point: “Fitted cap better say V.Roy or that’s somebody ass (yeah) / Real killer, pop up on somebody in somebody grass (‘Body grass).” Heed the words of Trippie Redd and Lil Durk – better not move a muscle!

 


6. KAMILLE, “Muscle Memory” (Ft. Nile Rodgers) 

💿 K1 🏷 KamKam Entertainment • 📅 2023

KAMILLE, K1 [📷: KamKam Entertainment]“I can’t find the rhythm, can’t shake off my regrets.” Sad, KAMILLE! What is it on “Muscle Memory”, the opening track from her album, K1, that has the English singer/songwriter regretful? Missing her lover, of course:  “Spinnin’ round and round like every word that you said / The day that you left me cold and blue.”  Damn! This muscular song is NOT about getting a good pump at the gym.  Instead, matters of the heart drive the narrative – with a hint of the dancefloor in the mix.  Notably, KAMILLE collaborates with the legendary Nile Rodgers, who writes alongside her on this electrifying, three-and-a-half-minute bop.   

The chorus is the centerpiece. “And if you come back to me / You can find my love right where it used to be,” KAMILLE sings, continuing, “I’ll keep dancin’ all alone until you hold me / You make my heart beat again like muscle memory, muscle memory.” Speaking of dancing, “Muscle Memory” features a sweet, ultra-slick, danceable beat.  Additionally, the keys (piano) are keying, the bass line is big and robust, and the rhythm guitar is funky AF. Of course, the star of the show is KAMILLE, whose lead vocals are smooth and sultry. The background vocals are sweet too, particularly when harmonized. All told, “Muscle Memory” is a relatable, muscular, must-hear pop banger.  

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7. Xiu Xiu, “Fabulous Muscles”  

💿 Fabulous Muscles🏷 Kill Rock Stars • 📅 2004

Xiu Xiu, Fabulous Muscles [📷: Kill Rock Stars]“Break my face in / It was the kindest touch you ever gave.” The kindest, Jamie Stewart? Really? Hmm. The brainchild behind Xiu Xiu delivers a simultaneously disturbing and marvelous song with “Fabulous Muscles”. “Fabulous Muscles” appears on the 2004 Xiu Xiu album, also titled, Fabulous Muscles.  In the first verse, Stewart continues singing, meekly, “Wrap my dreams around your thighs / And drape my hopes upon the chance to touch your arm.” Hmm, seems like this ‘relationship’ is off.  As “Fabulous Muscles” progresses, it is clear things are sus.  

Fabulous muscles / Cremate me after you cum on lips.” Say what, Jamie? Stewart (or his character) has given this man oral sex, yet, the only pleasure he gets is being burned. “Honey boy, place my ashes in a vase,” Stewart continues in the chorus, adding, “Beneath your workout bench.” Open to multiple interpretations, clearly, the man being serviced, who appears to be abusive/toxic in this relationship, is more masculine if not straight. Stewart wants his ashes to be placed beneath his workout bench, which suggests how low on the totem pole he is… The second verse sheds more light on the waning thrills, including “No romance, no sexiness” and most eyebrow-raising, “Kneeling down before the now-familiar flesh / Of your deformed penis.” Yes, we all have questions – lots of questions.  While there has been man on man play, in this case of “Fabulous Muscles”, it clearly isn’t worth dying over, whether that is literally or metaphorically.

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8. Davis Mallory, “Shirtless” 

🎵 “Shirtless” • 🏷 Lionboy • 📅 2019 

Davis Mallory, "Shirtless" [📷: Lionboy]“So, like a tall glass of water / Got me thirsty / Can’t take my eyes off of ya / when you’re shirtless, when you’re shirtless…” I’m not a fan of cocky guys, let alone those godawful, hedonistic, fuckboys. That said, like Davis Mallory on “Shirtless,” I appreciate legitimate eye candy.  On “Shirtless”, that eye candy is quite decadent from Mallory’s perspective – and buff, muscular, HOT! “Shirtless” features slick production work, courtesy of Joakim Buddee, who writes alongside Mallory.  The sound is bright, energetic, and enthusiastic. Regardless of sexual preference, think about how you feel when you see someone who’s fine as hell… That’s what “Shirtless” encapsulates.  The lyrics are ‘over the top’ and dramatic, yet, we’re all ‘extra’ when it comes to crushes, fantasies, and such.  “Shirtless” is not poetic, but there are memorable moments lyrically including “All of your muscles and your veins / Oh, they’re driving me insane / Raise my hands and singing praise / Thanking God for what he made / And the sun’s out / And your guns out.” JESUS!   

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    9. Alice Cooper, “Muscle of Love” 

    💿 Muscle of Love🏷 Warner • 🗓 1973 

    Alice Cooper, Muscle of Love [📷: Warner]“Well, I must have come to that crazy age / Where ev’rything is hot.” Uh-oh! It’s adolescence when EVERYTHING changes! Alice Cooper delivers an outlandish rock record, “Muscle of Love”, that plays as a soundtrack the tumultuous time.  Of course, Cooper focuses on the biggest aspect of adolescence – hormones! “Muscle of Love” serves as the sixth track on Cooper’s 1973 album also titled 💿 Muscle of Love  

     

    Basically, Joey, the adolescent boy in “Muscle of Love,” has discovered his “Holy muscle of love!” Woo-hoo 🍆💦! “Muscle of Love” is rightfully categorized as a masturbation song. Exhibit A:  

    “I read Dad’s books like I did before 

    Now things are crystal clear 

    Lock the door in the bathroom now 

    I just can’t get caught in here.”

    So, Joey understands the happenings in his Daddy’s dirty magazines.  Of course, in the old days, porn was consumed via magazines (these days, the internet suffices).  And of course, he goes and enjoys his “Gift from above.” What more can you say regarding “Muscle of Love”? Cooper delivers an assertive performance as only he can.  The theme is relatable to the nth degree.  Us men, well, we’ve been there when we discovered the power of our “muscle of love!”

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    10. DJ Muscleboy, “Musclebells”  

    🎵 “Musclebells” • 🏷 DJ Muscleboy / Alda Music • 📅 2019

    DJ Muscleboy, Musclebells [📷: DJ Muscleboy / Alda Music]“Okay universe, give the gift of a healthy body!” Hell yeah! What better way to conclude a muscular playlist than with a muscular Christmas record with muscular cringeDJ Muscleboy is as ripped as a mofo – sort of the expectation given his name.  On his colorful single, “Musclebells,” he says ‘screw it’ to “Jingle Bells” instead focusing on a hot physique (“Who needs ‘Jingle Bells’ when you have dumbbells”). Notably, he samples the beloved Wham! Christmas classic, “Last Christmas”, pitched up in all it’s glory.  Furthermore, the grooves and synths are exuberant – lit to the nth degree.  As sublime as the sounds are, it’s the ad-libs by DJ Muscleboy, filled with personality that take the cake: “Goddamn, that’s a muscular Jesus! / C’mon Jesus, pump the goddamn weight!” Wow – there’s nothing more to say! 

     


    10 Hella Muscular, Muscle Songs (2024) [📷: Brent Faulkner / The Musical Hype; 10K Projects, 1400 Entertainment, Inc., Alda Music, DJ Muscleboy, GRAM Intl., KamKam Entertainment, Kill Rock Stars, Lionboy, Matt McGhee, Polydor, RCA, Warner, Zelig Music LLC; 宇宙无敌 Daddy, Avinash Salunke, Mike González, Mohammad Ubaid, from Pexels; KERBSTONE, Malkhai Cora from Pixabay]