The Beaches, Touch Myself | Midnight Heat

In the 80^th edition of Midnight Heat (2025), we explore the naughty, sexy vibes behind “Touch Myself” by The Beaches. 

Ah, bring on Midnight Heat! Wait – it is not usually hot at midnight! Well, it is steaming hot 🥵 at midnight when it comes to this naughty, innuendo-laden, and sex-laden column featuring songs intended for nighttime. These risqué, unapologetic records often raise eyebrows and temperature alike. In the 80^th edition of Midnight Heat (2025), we explore the naughty, sexy vibes behind “Touch Myself” by The Beaches.

Come, huh? Is that the right form of the word? Anyways, the innuendo is ripe from Canadian alternative rock band The Beaches (Jordan Miller, Kylie Miller, Leandra Earl, and Eliza Enman-McDaniel). Unfortunately for lead singer Jordan Miller, no action goes down on “Touch Myself”.  Why? Per the chorus of the fourth track from the collective’s 2025 album, No Hard Feelings, “But I’m scared to even touch myself / ‘Cause when I do, I think of you, oh-oh.” Uh-oh – it’s giving a heaping dose of heartbreak 💔. Per Stereo Gum, in a press release, The Beaches stated the following about “Touch Myself”:

‘Touch Myself’ is a song about being so heartbroken you can’t even masturbate, because when you do, it just makes you think of your ex. It’s about how grief can sneak into the most private parts of your life and leave you feeling totally wrecked.”

You know it’s bad when you can’t enjoy solo time. Jordan penned “Touch Myself” with her bandmates, Kylie, Leandra, and Eliza, as well as with Justin Tranter and Ryland Blackinton.

“I’m okay in the sunlight,” Miller sings in the first verse, and continues, “The memories are wasted in the nighttime.” Yep, because that’s a great time to… you, know. Interestingly, she asserts in the second verse, “Up my insurance.” Why, Jordan? “Got therapy bills in the millions.” The need for therapy is the result of heartbreak.  She gets even more personal about private matters in the third verse, mentioning her toys. But, again, they aren’t being used: “‘Cause everything waist down is broken /… ‘Cause the strap’s in the trash with my self-esteem.” To sum things up, the heartbreak 💔 on “Touch Myself” is a serious bummer.  The musicianship, however, is not a bummer in the least.  The driving alternative pop/rock backdrop is #winning, particularly given the pace – a nice, medium tempo. Jordan brings the heat, delivering a commanding, expressive, and striking vocal performance.  You might say, The Beaches ate and left no crumbs on this alluring, non-masturbatory heartbreak anthem.

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The Beaches » No Hard Feelings » The Beaches / AWAL Recordings America, Inc » 2025

The Beaches, Touch Myself: Midnight Heat No. 80 (2025) [📷: Brent Faulkner / The Musical Hype; The Beaches / AWAL Recordings America, Inc; Francesco Ungaro, Hasan Muneer, Natan, Tazz Vaughn from Pexels; AcatXlo, Aristal Branson, Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay]

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