Songs Centered Around or Referencing Suicide, Vol. 2

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Songs Centered Around or Referencing Suicide, Vol. 2 features music courtesy of Badflower, Billie Eilish, Clairo, Lost in the Trees, and XXXTentacion.

Suicide. It’s one of those words that carries so much depression, devastation, and pain. It’s one of the loneliest, bothersome, and saddest ways to die. The original playlist, Songs Centered Around or Referencing Suicide, Vol. 1 (published in 2018) came about following the insensitive video recorded in Aokigahara and the fallout from the insensitive, inappropriate video by YouTuber Logan Paul. It’s quite sad that some people go to a place like Aokigahara to ‘end it all.’ Recapping the original list, it featured 13 songs that reference suicide including songs by Billie Holiday (“Gloomy Sunday”), Ozzy Osbourne (“Suicide Solution”), Pearl Jam (“Jeremy”), Logic (“1-800-273-8255”) and Declan McKenna (“Paracetamol”) among others.

Songs Centered Around or Referencing Suicide, Vol. 1 just scratched the surface of songs centered around or referencing suicide in some regards. The same can be said of the 11 additional songs that grace SONGS CENTERED AROUND OR REFERENCING SUICIDE, VOL. 2. Vol. 2 features music courtesy of Badflower (“Ghost”), Billie Eilish (“Listen Before I Go”), Clairo (“Alewife”), Lost in the Trees (“Icy River”), and the late XXXTentacion (“Jocelyn Flores”) among others. Please keep in mind that suicide is NO laughing matter whatsoever. Don’t hesitate to call 1-800-273-8255; every single life is precious. Without further ado, Songs Centered Around or Referencing Suicide, Vol. 2.

1. Clairo, “Alewife”

Immunity • Fader • 2019

Clairo commences her debut album, Immunity with sad subject matter. On the standout, “Alewife,” she sings in an undertone. “Alewife” isn’t a common title for a song, and honestly, many may wonder what an alewife is or what Alewife is – is it a proper noun? Well, in this case, the alt-pop singer isn’t referencing the fish, but rather, a transit station in her native Massachusetts: “In Massachusetts / Only 30 minutes from Alewife / I lay in my room / Wonderin’ why I’ve got this life.”

Beyond mentioning Alewife, the big takeaway from the aforementioned lyrical excerpt, as well as the song itself are the numerous references made to suicide. Clairo is thankful to a friend who ‘saved her.’ “But you know you saved me from doin’ / Something to myself that night,” she sings on the first verse. On the second, she sings, “Swear I could’ve done it / If you weren’t there when I hit the floor.”

2. Badflower, “Ghost”

OK, I’M SICK • Big Machine • 2019

“I tried it once before I didn’t get too far / I felt a lot of pain, but it didn’t stop my heart / And all I really wanted was someone to give a little fuck / But I waited there forever, and nobody even looked up.” On “Ghost”, the third track from OK, I’M SICK, alternative band Badflower depicts the morbid topic that’s the center of this playlist, suicide. For the majority of the record, the protagonist is unable to complete the suicide, despite multiple attempts. The depressed lyrics are clearly jarring.

Frontman Josh Katz continues to discuss suicide on the second verse, which is half the length of the first. On the chorus, he’s dramatic about how suicide “won’t end the pain.” Despite seeming to avoid completion for the majority of the song, at the end, he’s successful, admitting:

“I tried it once again and I think I went too far
I cut a little deeper and the pressure stopped my heart
I couldn’t tell my mother that I love her, I’m a bad son
This life is overwhelming and I'm ready for the next one...”

In addition to distinct, emotional lyrics and subject matter, the sound of the record is awesome, featuring a dark, angst-laden backdrop, led by the guitars.

3. Billie Eilish, “Listen Before I Go”

When We Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? • Darkroom / Interscope • 2019

“Take me to the rooftop / I wanna see the world when I stop breathing.” Hmm, well that’s incredibly morbid. Some background first! After a slow, but steady ascent, including an EP and numerous singles, 17-year old alt-pop singer/songwriter Billie Eilish finally released her major-label debut album, When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?, in March 2019.

“Listen Before I Go,” the 12^th track from When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?, is lethargic-paced and heavy to the nth degree. How is it heavy exactly? Well, it references suicide… ouch. “Sorry can’t save me now,” Eilish sings on the chorus, later adding, “Sorry there’s no way out / But down.” What is fueling the suicidal thoughts that cross the protagonist’s mind? Depression, it seems. What isn’t sad is the top-notch quality of this dark standout from an equally brilliant debut album. “Listen Before I Go” previously appeared on 11 Awesome Songs that Tickled My Fancy in March 2019 as well as 11 Songs Where the ‘Before’ is Key.

4. The 1975, “I Always Wanna Die (Sometimes)”

A Brief Inquiry into Online Relationships • Polydor / Interscope • 2018

“You build it to a high to say goodbye / Because you’re not the same as them / But your death it won’t happen to you / It happens to your family and to your friends.” Damn, that pretty deep stuff right there. In 2018, British alternative collective The 1975 delivered an interesting third album, A Brief Inquiry into Online Relationships. One of the most interesting songs appears at the conclusion of the album, the reflective and suicidal “I Always Wanna Die (Sometimes).”

“Am I me though geography? / A face collapsed through entropy / I can hardly speak / And when I try, it’s nothing but a squeak…” Despite having a depressing sensibility (understatement), “I Always Wanna Die (Sometimes)” actually has more tempo and more rock cues compared to the songs that precede it. Crossing over the five-minute mark, the band give us a strong, driving groove, lush strings, and some turned-up guitars. Furthermore, Matt Healey encourages choosing life over suicide in numerous instances, including the simplistic, yet telling lyric, “If you can’t survive, just try.” Moving on to the chorus, it’s simple, yet melodically captivating.

“And I always wanna die, sometimes
I always wanna die, sometimes
I always wanna die.”

“I Always Wanna Die (Sometimes)” previously appeared on the playlist, 15 Songs That Center Around Sadness & Depression.

5. Father John Misty, “Please Don’t Die”

God’s Favorite Customer • Sub Pop • 2018

“One more wasted morning / When I could be holding you / To my side, somebody stop this joyless joy ride / I’m feeling older than my thirty-five years.” Father John Misty (Josh Tillman) is reflective and serious on the slower “Please Don’t Die,” a highlight from his 2018 album, God’s Favorite Customer. Clearly, Tillman has been in a bad spot regarding his mental health and his wife is extremely worried about potentially losing him. Although Tillman isn’t explicit about his intentions, the tone of the record suggests the unfortunate possibility of suicide.

Tillman seem to realize how he’s affecting his wife, and he actually sings from her perspective on the thrilling chorus. This is where one can truly see the potential fear that Tillman’s wife had regarding him potentially committing suicide because of his mental health issues.

“Oh, and honey, I’m worried ‘bout you
You’re too much to lose
You’re all that I have
And honey, I’m worried ‘bout you
Put yourself in my shoes
You’re all that I have so please don’t die
Wherever you are tonight.”

“Please Don’t Die” previously appeared on the playlist, 15 Songs That Center Around Sadness & Depression.

6. XXXTentacion, “Jocelyn Flores”

17 • Bad Vibes Forever / EMPIRE • 2017

“I’m in pain, wanna put ten shots in my brain / I’ve been trippin’ ‘bout some things, can’t change / Suicidal, same time I’m time…” “Jocelyn Flores” marked one of the most notable songs from the late XXXTentacion (Jahseh Onfroy, 1998 – 2018). Appearing as the second track on his 11-track, 22-minute project 17, “Jocelyn Flores” references suicide throughout the course of the two-minute selection. Jocelyn Flores, an acquaintance of the rapper, was depressed and committed suicide, deeply affecting him.

On the sole verse, beginning with the aforementioned lyrics, XXXTentacion keeps it real regarding his own suicidal thoughts, and how Flores’ suicide bothered him.

“Picture this, in bed, get a phone call
Girl that you fucked with killed herself
That was this summer when nobody helped
And ever since then, man, I hate myself
Wanna fuckin’ end it, pessimistic
All wanna see me with no pot to piss in
But niggas been excited ‘bout the grave I’m diggin’.”

Besides the Flores’ suicide, XXX’s own depression, and his many troubles, the rapper also references his uncle’s suicide (“Memories surface through the grapevine / ‘Bout my uncle playin’ with a slip knot…”). Worth noting, XXXTentacion also references suicide on his 2018 song, “SAD!” from ?:

“Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh
You decide if you're ever gonna let me know (yeah)
Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh
I'm sad, I know, yeah, I'm sad, I know, yeah.”

7. Arcade Fire, “Creature Comfort”

Everything Now • Sony • 2017

“Creature Comfort”, the second single from Arcade Fire’s 2017 album, Everything Now, opens in electrifying fashion, with synths leading the charge. Arcade Fire remain in dance-rock mode, but also incorporate some gritty guitar in the mix, not to mention the hard-hitting groove. Another interesting production feature are the piercing supporting vocals by Régine Chassagne on the chorus: “On and on I don’t know what I want.” The sound is great, but it’s the theme of “Creature Comfort” the earns it a spot on this particular playlist.

The themes of “Creature Comfort prove darker than its exuberant sound, encompassing suicide and how screwed up society is. On the first verse, Win Butler speaks about self-hatred – low self-esteem – a prevalent societal issue.

“Some boys hate themselves
Spend their lives resenting their fathers
Some girls hate their bodies
Stand in the mirror and wait for the feedback.”

Valid observations. He goes on, from the perspective of the potential victims, sending one final prayer: “God, make me famous / If you can’t just make it painless.” Suicide arrives next, but perhaps more surprising is how Butler references the band’s potential role in preventing it:

“Assisted suicide…
She told me she came so close
Filled up the bathtub and put on our first record.”

Later, assisted by Chassagne once more, Butler continues to sing about girls and boys with low self-esteem who intentionally harm themselves. Eventually, he begins to shift gears a bit, stating:

“Creature comfort makes it painless
Bury me penniless and nameless
Born in a diamond mine
It’s all around you but you can’t see it
Born in a diamond mine
It’s all around you but you can’t touch it.”

Like so many musicians in a time of political and social turmoil, Arcade Fire add fuel to the fire. “Creature Comfort” is among the crème de la crème of Everything Now, not to mention a noteworthy record in general.

8. Machine Gun Kelly, “Merry Go Round”

General Admission • Bad Boy / Interscope • 2015

“Fills the needle with food, flicks the needle with haste / Brings the needle to her, she isn’t right in the face / The boy can tell that she’s scared, he says, ‘I love you, okay.’” Machine Gun Kelly offers up a bothersome, totally depressing number with “Merry Go Round,” which appears as the 11^th track on his 2015 sophomore album, General Admission. While “Merry Go Round” is one of the rapper’s deepest tales on General Admission, not to mention one of the best songs of his career, it’s totally tragic, and yes, the ‘s-word’ is involved.

“Now the syringe is all that keeps her alive anymore
No mattress, so her and her child dyin’ on the floor
As a letter’s at the door reading:
‘I’ll be home tomorrow, love, Bobby.’”

Machine Gun Kelly imparts the tale of a couple who take drugs. ‘Bobby’ leaves for the army, while his girlfriend, who becomes addicted, is “messin’ with everybody,” and ends up pregnant. She overdoses before Bobby returns from the army, and upon his return, he finds her dead, sees she was pregnant, and commits suicide.

“He walks into the house, it’s a fuckin’ disaster
Every step he takes his shoe crushes a capsule
Holds his breath, he knows what he smells isn’t natural
Looks down, it’s the body of the queen of his castle
‘Baby please, baby please!!!
Wake up!!!’”
He screams on his knees and he sees her hands around her stomach
Inside was a child
And realizes it was his…
*gunshot*”

There’s nothing ‘merry’ whatsoever about this particular “Merry Go Round.” “Merry Go Round” previously appeared on the playlist, 11 Totally Merry, Mary, Marry Songs.

9. Jake Miller, “Steven”

The Road Less Traveled (EP) • eOne • 2013

“Let me tell you about a kid named Steven / He’s slowly running out of things to believe in…” Yeah, that’s not good… Once upon a time, Jake Miller emphasized his rap prowess more than his singing voice. Of course, Miller is adept at both rapping and singing. One particular song stands out on his 2013 EP, The Road Less Traveled. That great but bothersome song is “Steven,” which is about a suicidal kid… heartbreaking stuff.

Miller is thoughtful throughout “Steven,” the tale of a kid experiencing a lot of traumatic events in his life. The narrative encompasses the death of his father, use of drugs, and bullying. Miller drops one lengthy verse, which masterfully goes through all of the things adding up making Steven suicidal. Ultimately, it is the ending that’s really tough, yet provides food for thought:

“Yeah, I hope that you all feel guilty
Cuz I’m broken now and you can’t heal me
And now you’re all an accomplice in murder
Each and every one of you have chipped in to kill me
So, the reason that I’m writing you this evening
Is to say goodbye and to tell you that I’m leaving
But don’t hold your breath cuz I ain’t never coming back
Sincerely yours, Steven.”

10. Serj Tankian, “Harakiri”

Harakiri • Serj Tankian / Woah Dad! • 2012

“We’re the day birds / Deciding to fly against the sky / Within our dreams, we all wake up / To kiss the ones who are born to die.” Serj Tankian has a lot to say on “Harakiri,” the title track from his 2012 sophomore album. First things first, hara-kiri is defined as “ritual suicide by disembowelment practiced by Japanese samurai or formerly decreed by a court in lieu of the death penalty.” The key word is disembowelment, which is both disgusting and incredibly brutal and painful. Sometimes, rather than being called hara-kiri, it’s referred to as seppuku.

Tankian actually doesn’t get specific about the act of hara-kiri itself on “Harakiri.” He speaks figuratively and metaphorically about a number of the wrongs and questionable beliefs of the human race, all of which he essentially likens to self-destruction – suicide if you will. He specifically cites the 2010-11 mass animal deaths of drum fish and blackbirds in Arkansas, making a dual statement about how poorly humans treat mother nature, as well as how poor human nature is in general. Expectedly, Tankian also criticizes overzealous religious beliefs.

“The drum fish
They bleached themselves in Harakiri
The blackbirds
They fell in thousands from the sky
Their red wings
Streaming down from the higher seas
Deflected by the ground
They crowned the sun.”

“Harakiri” previously appeared on the playlist, 11 Songs About Painful, Torturous, or Troubling Ways to Die.

11. Lost in the Trees, “Icy River”

A Church that Fits Our Needs • Anti • 2012

“Don’t you ever dare think she was weak-hearted/ She led me to the woods where our church was started/ Like a ribbon of silver/ I put her body in the river…” On “Icy River” (A Church That Fits Our Needs), Ari Picker, frontman of alternative collective Lost in the Trees, does his best to honor his late mother, who sadly ended her own life. Not only does “Icy River” deal with the unfortunate event, so does the entire album, with the cover art featuring a picture of Picker’s mom.

Of A Church That Fits Our Needs, Bob Boilen of NPR writes:

[A Church That Fits Our Needs] celebrates the life of songwriter Ari Picker's mother. And, though it tells an intensely sad tale of a life that included the death at birth of her twin daughters, depression, cancer and her suicide shortly after she left her son's wedding, Ari Picker still finds a way to embrace her sad yet creative life.

“Icy River” is by far the most ‘artsy’ cut on Songs Centered Around or Referencing Suicide, Vol. 2. The record begins with sound effects (birds and nature). Added is mysterious-sounding piano, along with quasi-operatic female vocals. Even more impressive is the orchestration with strings, in addition to the use of acoustic guitar. Of course, Picker sounds beautiful, delivering touching songwriting from the jump:

“Icy river
Put your arms around my mother
I burned her body in the furnace
Till all that’s left was her glory
… She led me to the woods where our church was started…”

He details committing his mother’s body to the river in dramatic and poetic fashion. It is chilling and sad, yet absolutely beautiful.

“Songs Centered Around or Referencing Suicide, Vol. 2” [Photo Credits: Anti, Bad Boy, Bad Vibes Forever, Big Machine, Darkroom, EMPIRE, Entertainment One, eOne, Fader, Interscope, Pexels, Pixabay, Polydor, Serj Tankian, Sony, Sub Pop, Woah Dad!]

Songs Centered Around or Referencing Suicide, Vol. 2 | Playlist

Published by the musical hype on August 7, 2019August 7, 2019