Sabrina Carpenter, Never Getting Laid | Midnight Heat

In the 98^th edition of Midnight Heat (2025), we explore the naughty, sexy vibes behind “Never Getting Laid” by Sabrina Carpenter. 

Ah, bring on Midnight Heat! Wait – it is not usually hot at midnight! Well, it is steaming hot 🥵 at midnight when it comes to this naughty, innuendo-laden, and sex-laden column featuring songs intended for nighttime. These risqué, unapologetic records often raise eyebrows and temperature alike. In the 98^th edition of Midnight Heat (2025), we explore the naughty, sexy vibes behind “Never Getting Laid” by Sabrina Carpenter.

Hmm, so, what happened, Sabrina Carpenter, to hope your ex-boyfriend “didn’t have a mind?” “Never Getting Laid” references matters of the bedroom, but it’s not related to her inability to have sex. Instead, it has to do with him – more on that in a bit!  “Never Getting Laid” is the seventh track from her 2025 Grammy-nominated album, Man’s Best Friend. Carpenter penned “Never Getting Laid” with Amy Allen and John Ryan. She also produced it with Ryan.  Notably, the song debuted and peaked at number 30 on the Billboard Hot 100.

“Never Getting Laid” is much classier than its title suggests. Yes, the lyrics are bold, but the musical accompaniment is refined and sophisticated.  The keys, pads, detuned synths, smooth guitar, bass, and drum groove are lovely. The fabulous harmonic progression is worth nothing. “Never Getting Laid” thrives on its jazzy sensibilities and vibes. Even with her blunt, explicit, and playful lyrics, Sabrina Carpenter sounds sophisticated as she sings. I love the fact that Carpenter never gets too high in the verses. Still, those lyrics are not that innocent, with the likes of “Us girls are fun, but stressful, am I right? / And you got a right hand anyway.” Oh, snap! The pre-choruses have some bite, where Carpenter is bothered that he “Could flip like a switch / That could wander and drift / To a neighboring bitch,” as well as “Could be using your lips / On a girl with big tits.”  The relationship is over, but Sabrina, at peace, to some degree, only wishes him the best as best as she can. She brings a bit more oomph and punch to the chorus, the crème de la crème:

“Baby, I’m not angry

I love you just the same

I just hope you get agoraphobia someday

And all your days are sunny

From your windowpane

I wish you a lifetime full of happiness

And a forever of never getting laid.”

So, she wishes him well… from being stuck inside his house and not having sex with anybody else.  Woo! The outro is a surprise.  Sure, the lyrics keep the same energy (“I hope you find /A good whole lot of nothing /… And abstinence is just a state of mind”), but the section and sound distinguish themselves from the rest of “Never Getting Laid”.  All told, this is another fun and unforgettable Sabrina Carpenter bop!

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Sabrina Carpenter » Man’s Best Friend » Island » 2025

Sabrina Carpenter, Never Getting Laid: Midnight Heat No. 98 (2025) [📷: Brent Faulkner / The Musical Hype; Island; Francesco Ungaro, Hasan Muneer, Natan, Tazz Vaughn from Pexels; AcatXlo, Aristal Branson, Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay]

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