Embattled R&B icon R. Kelly comes over as totally inept on his self-centered, utterly disgraceful, 19-minute ‘admission’ track, “I Admit.”

“I admit I done made some mistakes / And I have some imperfect ways.” Quoting one of my old buddies, “No shit Sherlock”. R. Kelly is a gifted musician – that can’t be taken away from him.  He’s responsible for some of R&B’s contemporary classics, as well as the universally beloved “I Believe I Can Fly”.  To this day, “I Believe I Can Fly” ranks among my favorite songs of all-time.  BUT, the accusations and the controversies that have been attached to The Pied Piper of R&B are incredibly troubling and shouldn’t be swept under the rug.

Sexual abuse and misconduct have been around for a long time, but just recently gained a voice after being suppressed far too long. In music, the repercussions of allegations have been slower compared to film and television.  However, things seem to be ratcheting up and R. Kelly is the prime target.  On “I Admit,” the accused R&B musician addresses his life and controversies, but seems to be totally inept.  Let’s dissect some of this…

Verse 1

On the first verse, R. Kelly doesn’t make any truly damning admissions.  He dropped out of school, and even though ‘he admits’ that wasn’t a good choice, that’s not jail-worthy, nor truly important to his current circumstances.  His sexcapades with fans (“I done f**ked with a couple of fans”) could be revelatory, depending on consent and age, but groupies are a sketchy part of being a celebrity.  It doesn’t help his defense, but again, not totally damning.  Fans who enjoy his more spiritual side may take offense to the fact he admits, “I don’t go to church (no, no).”  Okay – lots of people don’t…

Verse 2

The second verse is juicier.  “…I had a hell of a day, but I admit I was in my own way.”  Essentially, he screwed up – he “got in his own way” of success.  One Genius annotator links this to his basketball skills, which could be the instance of messing up he’s alluding to. He does reference sex, unapologetically stating, “Blew so much money, pop so many bottles, yeah I f**ked a b*tch / just because.” Ugh.  This is unspecific enough to be damning, but it does speak to the utterly disgusting arrogance that some celebrity male musicians have, objectifying women, having sex with them, but not giving them the proper respect.

Moving on, one of the big takeaways, has been Kelly’s inability to spell and read. “I admit I can’t spell for shit… / I admit that I couldn’t read the teleprompter / When the Grammy’s ask me to present.”  His illiteracy is troubling, sad to say the least, but what is his point now with all this mess surrounding him? Also, for those bothered by his lack of church-going, he also admits “I love God, but wait / It’s so much temptation…” Finally, we get to hear more of what is the center of Kell’s issues – sex.  “I f**ked my girlfriend’s best friend.” That’s bad – cheating’s bad – but again, not enough to lock him up…  Two verses in, not much substance…

Verse 3

On the third verse of this juggernaut, he’s ‘mad as hell.’  He can’t “trust people too much.” He’s been “tempted by drugs” and he admits, “That I just need a hug.” Hmm, he’s not going to get sympathy at this point, and that lyric alone will on incense skeptics even more.  He goes on to confirm his love for God by denouncing the devil, before discussing being “f**ked by so many damn managers, while they push me out front of these cameras.”  Hmm, seems kind of contradictory, right?

Then, it gets deeper, as Kelly never seems to take responsibility for anything.  Pissed off at his managers again, he asserts, “How they gon’ say I don’t respect these women, when all I’ve done is represent (thirty years) / Take my career and turn it upside down, ‘cause you mad I’ve got some girlfriends.” UGH.  R. come on mannnnn! His last two lines speak to his ineptness about the seriousness of the controversies he’s created for himself:

“Just wanna do my music, stop stressin’ me (hell yeah) / Please just let me age gracefully (yeah, yeah).”

Verse 4 

“Yeah, they took my gift and they blind me / Where the f**k is my money / Now here comes this big-ass conspiracy / But still got my fans, that’s a blessing.” Spotify preferred playlist policy perhaps? He specifically references the streaming company on the sixth verse. He also references his mama and friend Kevin.  Not sure why the fourth verse is so short, but he more than makes up for it in the coming verses, which are the most outrageous.

Verse 5 

“Yeah, go ahead and stone me, point your finger at me / Turn the world against me, but only God can mute me.” Yep, that’s a direct shot at those who wanted to #Mute him.  While that is a key moment, it’s what precedes it that’s more unsettling. He mentions his sexual appetites, admitting, “I’m a freak… / I f**k with all the ladies, that’s both older and young ladies / But tell me how they call it pedophile because that shit crazy.”  The problem is that he completely oversimplifies things, and the way he phrases it makes it even worse.  His liberal use of the f-word to reference sex only makes him look like more of a total pervert and a douchebag. As bad as that is, he only opens himself to more scrutiny with “young ladies” because the accusations against him specifically involve underage girls…

Beyond his questionable sex habits, he touts his career accomplishments, sickening even more with his arrogance and the focus on “I” this and “I” that.  Notably, he mentions Wendy Williams, which leads to one of Kelly’s most questionable incidents involving Aaliyah. 

“She said, ‘What about Aaliyah?’ / I said, ‘love’ / She said, ‘What about the tape?’ / I said ‘hush’ / I said my lawyer said ‘don’t say noth’ / But I can tell you I’ve been set up.”

From there, he continues to make excuses, moaning about disrespect, saying at the end, “But I had to set the f**kin’ record straight.” Hmm… that’s suspect.

Verse 6

R.Kelly calls out folks he ‘loves,’ but questions, “…Why would they wanna tear down another brother.” Then, he points the finger at women – “Women, show black men some love / ‘Cause black men, we go through enough.” True, the black male has adversity, but this is an entirely different situation man! Perhaps Kelly looks for more sympathy as he references the sexual abuse committed against him as a child.  This is definitely unfortunate and totally uncool, but, feels more like a diversion in the context of Kelly’s own purported sexual misconduct.

“Now, I admit a family member touched me… / From a child to the age 14, yeah / While I laid asleep, took my virginity / So scared to say something, so I just put the blame on me / Now here I am, and I’m tryin’ my best to be honest / ‘Cause the sources out ther tryna keep me from bein’ the artist…”

Later, he brushes off the allegations against him asserting, “Real talk, that shit sound silly.” His most shameful moments come as he blames women, parents, and everybody else but himself for his screwed-up judgment.

“These ladies are chasing me, yeah / Now I’m only saying all this shit, ‘cause how they tryna play me, yeah / I admit that this is no disrespect to the parents / But this is my advice to you ‘cause I’m also a parent / Don’t push your daughter in my face, and tell me that it’s okay / ‘Cause your agenda is to get paid, and get mad when it don’t go your way.”

There’s more, including the quotation of scripture and his utter narcissism, but just the thought of reading anymore of his BS makes me want to vomit. Still, there are two more verses of craziness!

Verse 7/8

“Whats the definition of a cult / What’s the definition of a sex slave? / Go to the dictionary, look it up / Let me know, I’ll be here waiting / Now I admit that I got girls that love me to pull they hair / Now I admit that they love me to talk dirty when I pull they hair / Some like me to spank ‘em and / Some like to give brain and / What these girls want is too much for the radio station.”

Ugh, ugh, UGH! Again, R. Kelly, this just makes you look worse!  Detailing how you have sex with women isn’t a great idea for trying to prove your innocence.  Neither is blaming the women, particularly given how effective the strength of women has been in the #MeToo movement in getting justice.  Ridiculously he makes a comparison to Huge Hefner which is about as tone deaf AF, before talking about being broke.  The big takeaway from the rest of the penultimate verse? R. Kelly is the victim in his own eyes.

On the final verse, Kelly wants the energy used against him to be used “To help these kids, raise them out of depression and poverty.”  He goes on to say, “Now I’m not saying I’m no savior, but I can be an inspiration.” Hmm… Two more lyrical passages piqued my interest on the eight verse.  The first was, “See my work has nothing to do with my private life / So stay the f**k out of my business and tend to your own damn life.” Angry, of course.  And, again confident and narcissistically, he asserts, “I done lived my voice and represented my country for 31 f**kin’ years.”  Even so, R., that doesn’t mean that you didn’t make choices that were harmful to others.

Final Thoughts

As aforementioned, as a fan of R. Kelly’s music, I would love to believe that he’s innocent.  But, even if I believed he was innocent, which I don’t, he incriminates himself with his attitude, defensiveness, and overabundance of foul language on “I Admit.”  This is nothing short of a train wreck.  If anything, “I Admit” only intensifies the movement to mute him.  Bruh, this was not the way to do this.