Paul Anka, (You’re) Having My Baby | Controversial Songs

In the 5th edition of Controversial Songs (2024), we explore the controversy behind “(You’re) Having My Baby” by Paul Anka and Odia Coates.

Bring on the controversy! Controversial Songs is a column that provides background information and insight into songs that raised eyebrows, stirred the pot, or were banned. The more censorship censor$hit, the better! The records that grace Controversial Songs are old and new alike, with all genres of music welcome.  In the 5^th edition of Controversial Songs (2024), we explore the controversy behind “(You’re) Having My Baby” by Paul Anka and Odia Coates.

Feminist organizations weren’t thrilled with “(You’re) Having My Baby.” Why? It feels patriarchal as if the woman’s role is stereotypical: to have babies and validate her husband.  Was that Anka’s intent? Probably not, but lyrics like “What a lovely way of saying / What you’re thinking of me” feel self-centered and suspect. How does she feel about it, Paul? Even with Coates duetting, providing a ‘feminine perspective’ on paper, the authenticity of that perspective feels masculine-driven. Coates, who sounds beautiful, sings, “I’m a woman in love / And I love what’s it’s doing to me” and “I’m a woman in love / And I love what’s going through me).” Is that really how SHE feels, speaking for women? Depends on the woman, of course.

The ‘mansplained’ feminine perspective of “(You’re) Having My Baby” made it problematic for some but didn’t stifle its success.  However, the hit has another bit of controversy with a reference to abortion.  For some context, Roe v. Wade (overturned as of 2022) occurred in 1973. Anka sings, “Didn’t have to keep it / Wouldn’t put you through it / You could have swept it from your life / But you wouldn’t do it / No, you wouldn’t do it.” Conflicting messages, right? Celebrating pregnancy (pro-life) and supporting abortion (pro-choice).  Ultimately, from my perspective, “(You’re) Having My Baby” is a prime example of an overanalyzed song by Paul Anka.  From a musical perspective, it’s beautifully sung by Anka and Coates, while the musical accompaniment is stunning and warm.  The songwriting hurts it, including the title.  As Karen from Manchester, NH smartly comments on the Songfacts page for the song, “One small word change could have made it unoffensive: “(You’re) Having OUR Baby” would probably fix that.”  What are your thoughts? Is “(You’re) Having My Baby” problematic, oversimplified, or merely overanalyzed?

Paul Anka // Anka // Capitol // 1974

Paul Anka & Odia Coates, (You’re) Having My Baby: Controversial Songs No. 5 (2024) [📷: Brent Faulkner / The Musical Hype; Capitol; Tazz Vaughn via Pexels; Elena Arboleda Salas, nikolaytaman90, Tumisu from Pixabay; christian buehner on Unsplash]