Macklemore, Penis Song | Spicy Tunez

In the 13^th edition of Spicy Tunez (2026), we explore the controversial, eyebrow-raising, naughty, sexed-up vibes behind “Penis Song” by Macklemore.

Aww, shee-it! Prepare to be shooketh! Spicy Tunez is a column filled with naughty, sometimes controversial, and NSFW songs 👀.  Some songs merely dabble in innuendo and suggestiveness.  Others, however, go whole-hog and embrace a give-no-fucks aesthetic, thrive on sexual endeavors, utter shock value, and sometimes find themselves firmly embroiled in censorship… DUN, DUN, DUN! Spicy Tunez consolidates those Controversial Songs and that piping hot, sensually charged Midnight Heat. In the 13^th edition of Spicy Tunez (2026), we explore the controversial, eyebrow-raising, naughty, sexed-up vibes behind “Penis Song” by Macklemore. 

😳 “One that was quite a bit more thick and way more long / One of those porno King Kong dongs.” Wow 😮, I’m speechless 😶! It takes some big cojones to record a song about your schlong. Apparently, Grammy-winning rapper Macklemore (Ben Haggerty, b. 1983) had ‘em when he recorded his “Penis Song”.  Let that peen sink in! “Penis Song” is the 12^th track from his debut album, The Language of My World, released in 2005.  A spicy joint about the size of his nether, “Penis Song” is best taken with a grain of salt.

Fittingly, “Penis Song” begins with a penile introduction (sorry, couldn’t resist).  This occurs before the chorus, excerpted earlier. “Ladies and gentlemen, introducing / The ‘Penis Song’.” Oh, dick, shit! Here, Macklemore is accompanied by a dusty, hard-hitting groove, a big string bass line, keys, and guitar.  There are some old-school rap, jazz-rap vibes that make this bold song incredibly musical.  Regarding the rapping, Macklemore delivers a compelling cadence and flow throughout.  He is brutally honest, asserting, “I wish my dick was bigger, yep, I can admit it / I’m above average on inches, but I wanted damn double digits.” Woo! He continues, “If I had a big ol’ cock, what would I do? / I’d probably go to Florida and show it to Trina and screw.” Lawd have mercy! He concludes the first verse with a bang: “I know that God made us all different and special / But shit, did he really have to invent lopsided testicles?” One of the most entertaining moments is an interlude when he asks the ladies about average-sized dicks: “Ayo, ladies? Yeah? Ladies? Yeah? Do you want a guy with an average dick? Hell no.” In the second verse, Macklemore offers more penile goodness, or lack thereof: “I promise, I’m so self-conscious / That’s why you never see me skinny dippin’ in August.” Later, he proclaims, “If I was really hung I’d make a whole album called Me and My Dick / With interludes of all the girls that I’d been with / And talk about my package and multiple orgasms / ‘Cause all that I see is that size does matter.” Word.  He understands, however, “I’m not a porno star, I just gotta face it.” On “Penis Song”, Macklemore brings ample big dick energy, size deficit aside! Nothing more needs to be said!

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Macklemore » The Language of My World » Ben Haggerty » 2005

Macklemore, Penis Song: Spicy Tunez No. 13 (2026) [📷: Brent Faulkner / The Musical Hype; Ben Haggerty; Rizwan Aslam from Pexels; Clker-Free-Vector-Images, Gordon Johnson from Pixabay]

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