Lauv, ~how I’m feeling ~ | Album Review 💿

Rising pop artist Lauv (Ari Leff) showcases immense talent throughout his highly anticipated debut album, ~how I’m feeling~.

Lauv (Ari Leff) is one talented dude, period.  After showing immense potential on his playlist-album, I met you when I was 18., the pop singer/songwriter returns with his debut album, ~how I’m feeling~. Throughout the singles leading up to his debut album, he’s showcased incredible musicianship. Leff has a beautiful, expressive voice, perhaps most pronounced when he embodies loneliness and sadness at various points throughout the album. Still, the lighter moments are pretty rad too. While ~how I’m feeling~ is entirely too long, there are plenty of totally satisfying bops.

“Drugs & the Internet” 

“I sold my soul / And all I got / Likes from strangers, love on the internet.” Lauv shares his experiences with anxiety, depression, and the plight of fame on the superb opener, ✓ “Drugs & The Internet”.  It opens abruptly with smooth falsetto by Leff, accompanied by piano. On the first verse, he depicts depression he’s experienced. Following a slower, more relaxed opening verse, a sick groove and more aggressive sound takes over on the chorus, keeping things interesting.  On the memorable chorus, he sings:

“I traded all my friends for drugs and the internet
Ah shit, am I a winner yet?
Look quick, is he a winner yet?
Mom’s back home with a drink and a cigarette.”

The vocal production on the chorus is superb, not to mention the overall production work (Jon Bellion, Johnny Simpson, and Leff). The second verse retains the newfound tempo of the chorus, while still speaking to the singer’s anxiety and depression. Ultimately, “Drugs & The Internet” gives him one of the best songs of career.

“Fuck, I’m lonely, I’m lonely, I’m lonely as…” On the colorfully profane ✓ “fuck, I’m lonely”, Lauv captures a relatable sentiment and is totally ‘in his feelings’. On the first verse, after calling multiple times, he asserts, “Your fingers through my hair, that’s on my mind.” On the pre-chorus, he goes on to sing, “I don’t know, I don’t know / How I’m gonna make it out.” That’s where that ‘fucking’ lonely chorus comes into play.  The wine that Anne-Marie drinks on the second verse isn’t the only thing that’s bitter: “And all my friends are way too drunk to save me from my phone / So sorry if I say some things I mean.” The two join forces for the remainder of the song in various instances, including the reminiscent bridge. Neither wants to get over each other or the defunct relationship. Ultimately, another winning, love-centric song from Leff.

“Lonely Eyes”

After ~how I’m feeling~ begins with two familiar songs, “Lonely Eyes” marks a brand-new record.  That said, the subject matter isn’t unfamiliar, as Lauv continues to sing about loneliness.  Although he focuses on a nameless girl with “lonely eyes,” he makes it known, he has them too. ✓ “Sims” is a brief but potent number that brings The Sims in, as well as an element of escapism: “I wish that you and I lived in The Sims / We could build a house and plant some flowers and have kids…” The chorus is pretty infectious:

“Ooh, goddamn
I wish we would’ve met on another night, baby
Maybe then I would’ve have let you leave me…”

The second verse is colorful beyond the MoMa reference, as Leff talks about trying to impress her “with some bullshit ‘bout Monet.” “Sims” is another shining moment for Ari. It’s well-produced, and the ‘lover boy’ stays true to self.

Leff exhibits regret on “Believed,” asserting, “Should’ve believed in us.” Essentially, he left, but hasn’t recovered.  “I wish I would’ve been patient,” he sings on the second verse, continuing, “Instead of lettin’ all the emotions / turn to motions with you.” From there, listeners are given ✓ “Billy,” where the falsetto is ripe, and the production quite fresh (The Monsters & Strangerz, Johnny Simpson, and Leff).  Named after his dog, the focal point of this winner is anxiety and the come-up/success.  The crowning achievement? The chorus, which is pretty epic.

“Feelings”

Love continues to be central on “Feelings”. Lyrically, “Feelings” is relatively simple and straightforward, yet relatable and quite effective.  On the first verse, Lauv shows a sizable amount of anxiety regarding his feelings. On the second verse, he mentioned “A tiny war within [his chest],” regarding his state of ‘like’ for this particular girl.  On the pre-chorus, he wants to be more than friends, ultimately stating on the chorus, “Feelings are hard to find.” “Feelings” features bright production, emotional and commanding vocals, and an easy-to-follow, straightforward form. Another bop? For the most part.

On the pleasant “Canada,” Leff collaborates with Grammy-winning ‘Canadian’ artist, Alessia Cara. Each artist sings their own respective verse, beginning with Leff.  They sing together for the first time on the chorus following Cara’s verse, showcasing great chemistry.  “For Now” gives ~how I’m feeling~ another newbie, once more anchored in matters of the heart.  Like some of his best moments, Lauv never gets ‘too high,’ yet still manages to pack a punch, nonetheless.  “But for now, I’ll love you through the phone,” he sings on the chorus, singing about a long-distance relationship, adding, “For now, ‘til you come home to me.”

“Mean” 

✓ “Mean” was the sole advance single I failed to cover – shame on me.  One of the absolute smoothest songs from the album, Leff collaborates beautifully with indie-pop collective, LANY, specifically, Paul Klein. Like most of the duets on ~how I’m feeling, the respective parties split duties on the verses, eventually coming together on the closing chorus.  Speaking of the chorus, it’s one of the best parts of this surefire bop.

On “Tell My Mama,” Leff acknowledges and reflects on his mistakes, sending the message to his mother, “I’m sorry for the pain” and “…All the stress I put her under.” It’s another thoughtful moment from the LP.  He follows up with the groovy pop-soul joint, “Sweatpants,” stating the detrimental effects of a broken heart.  Besides the soulful vibes, there’s also a hint of reggae and tropical pop.  It’s a sweet contrast, even if the singer maintains a familiar theme.

“Who”

✓ “Who” naturally catches the eye, thanks to bringing in the biggest K-pop band of them all, BTS, as a featured guest.  The results are quite sweet on this slow jam with Jung Kook and Jimin making appearances on the second verse.  They join Leff for the final chorus, which is simply gorgeous!

“Who are you?
‘Cause you’re not the girl I fell in love with, baby
Who are you?
‘Cause something has changed, you’re not the same
Oh, I’m sick of waiting for love, love
Oh, I know that you’re not the one, one.”

“Party, trying my best to meet somebody / But everybody around me is falling in love to our song.” Lauv and Troye Sivan join forces on standout ✓ “I’m So Tired”, a record that sounds ‘tried and true’ to the pop sound and identity that Leff has established early on in his career.  The cut is quite rhythmic, keeping it rolling along. Leff delivers chill, commanding, and tasteful vocals on the first verse, adding to the vibes established by the production work.  He never pushes, singing with incredible ease.  The same can be said of Sivan, who’s always benefitted from subtlety and poise as opposed to flashy histrionics. He provides sound contrast on the second verse. The best part of the song is the infectious chorus.

With a couple of songs that provide a ‘change of pace’ on ~how I’m feeling~, add the Latin-tinged “El Tejano” to the list. Leff enlists Sofía Reyes for the sexy, groovy number.  One of my favorite lyrics from this tongue-in-cheek record? “She asked if I like Friends, I guess that that was the test / I said, ‘Hell yeah, and Phoebe’s the fuckin’ best.’” Reyes is on-point on her guest verse, as well as the times she sings alongside him, specifically the chorus.

“Tattoos Together” 

“Tattoos Together”, a pretty lighthearted pop record, encompasses premature tattooing, as Lauv has developed feelings for a girl (“Said I’d never fall, I’d never fall, I’d never fall / But then I feel for you, mmm”). The lyrics reflect Leff ‘s impulsiveness, especially the pre-chorus and of course, the chorus:

“Tattoos together, something to remember
If it’s way too soon, fuck it, whatever
Give me shapes and letters, if it’s not forever
Then at least we’ll have tattoos together.”

The production is well-rounded without being incredibly flashy or game changing.  Vocally, Leff serves up a pretty chill performance, particularly when he casually drops “fuck it” on the aforementioned chorus.  All in all, it’s another enjoyable moment.

“I’m getting rid of all my clothes I don’t wear / I think I’m gonna cut my hair…” On ✓ “Changes”, the 17^th track and eighth advance single from ~how I’m feeling~, Leff decides to make various changes in his life. Ridding of clothes and cutting his hair are just a couple of changes made on this enjoyable, honest pop single.  He also states he should take “a break from alcohol,” but admits, “Probably won’t last long.”  On the second verse, the big change is altering mental health (“Take some pills to fix my brain”).  Basically, these changes are straightforward but totally relatable.  The chorus is the centerpiece:

“Changes (Changes), they might drive you half-insane
But it’s killing you to stay the same
But it’s all gonna work out, it’s all gonna work out someday
Moments (Moments), livin’ with your eyes half-open
You’ve been thinking ‘bout these changes
It’s all gonna work out, it’s all gonna work out someday.”

All in all, “Changes” is a brief but winning record that’s well produced, well-performed, and features a great, relatable message.

“Sad Forever”

✓ “Sad Forever” is produced by Lauv and Halatrax. Interestingly, it’s a mix of a singer/songwriter vibe with some modern pop cues.  Clearly, Leff wants to invite the listener into the anxiety and depression issues he was facing, maybe even more so than “Drugs & The Internet.” On the first verse, he sets up the turbulence he’s experienced, asserting, “Whispers in the nighttime / Voices always keeping me up / Telling me that I should give up.” One of the most beautiful moments occurs on the pre-chorus, as he sings, “‘Cause lately I’ve been in the backseat to my own life / Trying to take control, but I don’t know how to.”  On the chorus, he is resolute – determined, essentially, not to let sadness weigh him down and destroy him. On the second verse, he looks ahead, more positively: “I’m coming through to the other side / I’ll make it through to tomorrow / ‘Cause that’s all I can do today, do today.”

“Invisible Things” is incredibly reminiscent, as Lauv remembers the good times, particularly within a relationship.  The sweet number is followed by “Julia,” which is addressed to his high-profile ex-girlfriend, Julia Michaels.  Apologetic throughout, the chorus is centerpiece:

“Oh, Julia
I’m sorry what I do to ya
I push and pull and mess with your head
Then get in your bed ‘cause I’m weak deep down
Oh, Julia
I wish I never lied to ya
I never meant to hurt you like that
And if I could go back, I’d leave you alone.”

“I’ve been thinkin’ ‘bout my father lately / The person that he made me.” On ✓ “Modern Loneliness”, the 10^th advance single from ~how I’m feeling, Leff employs a sad, lonely tone.  Even so, the music is quite beautiful, dynamic, and eventually, groovy. The second verse possesses a soulful vibe, with guitar, robust bass (and Mike Elizondo staple), and groove.  Like “Changes”, Lauv is introspective.  On the first verse, he asserts, “And I’ve been tryna fill all of this empty / But, fuck, I’m still so empty / Yeah, I could use some love.” On the second, he remains sad, singing, “If I could cleanse my soul / Then I could fill the world with all my problems / But, shit, that wouldn’t solve them / So, I’m left here alone.”  Of course, the centerpiece is the chorus. “Modern Loneliness” is another win for Leff, one that concludes ~how I’m feeling~ satisfactorily.

Final Thoughts

All said and done, there are plenty of superb moments throughout the course of ~how I’m feeling~. Lauv definitely has a knack for writing, producing, and performing pop music, particularly when the topic is love and anxiety. The biggest rub regarding this project is the length – the album is nearly 70 minutes long! Still, there are more than enough winning moments, even beyond the many advance singles.  Reiterating, Ari Leff – one talented dude.

✓ Gems: “Drugs & the Internet,” “fuck, I’m lonely,” “Sims,” “Billy,” “Mean,” “Who,” “I’m so tired,” “Changes,” “Sad Forever” & “Modern Loneliness” 

Lauv • ~how I’m feeling~ • AWAL • Release: 3.6.20

Photo Credit: AWAL