Geordie Kieffer, Jesus Van | Beaming with Pride 🏳️‍🌈

In the 60^th edition of Beaming with Pride 🏳️‍🌈 (2024), we highlight the song, “Jesus Van” performed by Geordie Kieffer. 

Prepare to beam with P-R-I-D-E 🏳️‍🌈! Beaming with Pride 🏳️‍🌈 celebrates, embraces, and spotlights songs by LGBTQ musicians or allies.  Here, we provide background and insight into musician(s) and analyze + go gaga over the decadent bops served up.  When the music dictates deeper, more transcendent discussion, we ensure the point is fully articulated.  All styles of music are welcome while the songs can be classics or brand-spanking new. So, without further ado, in the 60^th edition of Beaming with Pride 🏳️‍🌈 (2024), we highlight “Jesus Van” performed by Geordie Kieffer.

“I got Jesus in the back of my van.” Say what, Geordie Kieffer?! “I got Jesus in the back of my van.” Amen… I think… I mean, Jesus is everywhere – all-powerful and omniscient – but Kieffer thinks more with his pants than about his soul in his single, “Jesus Van”. The most devout Christians would not only consider “Jesus Van” to be sexually charged, but also, blasphemous.  There are ample spiritual references, but, how sincere is the ‘Agro pop’ star? Even if it is a sinful listen, the instrumental backdrop is sweet with its electronic sounds and rock elements.

As the excerpted lyrics suggest, Geordie Kieffer has a big personality.  He sings marvelous, infusing the lyrics with no shortage of eyebrow-raising, innuendo-laden moments.  At the top, Kieffer sings, “Hey pretty babe wanna dance the line / With them cowboy dudes and them southern dimes / I got shagged on the floor of my pony express / Gun on the dash and a cross on my chest.” He may have a cross ✝️, but it also seems he enjoyed some S-E-X.  How did this shagging ‘go down’ on the floor? He doesn’t give us details (cough-cough, top, bottom, etc.), we just know it happened. While we could assume the sex of his shagging partner (I think it’s another man), Kieffer is bisexual and doesn’t specify. He doesn’t lie when he says, “There’s a wild congregation in this holy mobile / So get your ass in the wagon that my friend take the wheel.” Holy, huh? It’s giving more like ‘holy fuck’ than anything else.

Of course, sex is the modus operandi. It’s Kieffer’s gospel: “Can a man move his body like he’s blessed and possessed / I’m just preaching the gospel of foreplay and sex.” Geordie must be into the Bible’s sexiest book: Song of Solomon. Continuing to be ‘religious,’ Geordie asserts he’s a priest and the prophet, with his apostles near… So, he’s Jesus? Yeah, this is getting hairier and hairier.  Near the end, he informs us, “I got the power of the spirit in the palm of my hand / But I hate to tell ya baby you ain’t coming with me.” Why? “I got Jesus in the back of my van.” It won’t save your soul, but “Jesus Van” is a surefire bop.  Geordie Kieffer does the damn thing!

Geordie Kieffer // “Jesus Van” // +1 // 2024

Geordie Kieffer, Jesus Van: Beaming with Pride 🏳️‍🌈 No. 60 (2024) [📷: Brent Faulkner/ The Musical Hype; +1; Elias Souza, Los Muertos Crew from Pexels; CatsWithGlasses, David, Maicon Fonseca Zanco, Square Frog, Sudo from Pixabay]