Alice Cooper, Cold Ethyl | Wacky Wednesday

In the 12th edition of Wacky Wednesday (2025), we break down the unique song, “Cold Ethyl” performed by Alice Cooper.

Do you know what day it is? It is Wednesday, folks! Do you know what that means? Why, it is Wacky Wednesday! In the spirited column Wacky Wednesday, we analyze, break down, and explore songs from various musicians of various genres that can be considered unique, unusual, or ‘wacky.’  These songs can be new or old; the only requirement is that they ‘catch the ears’ because of their distinctiveness.  So, with the background established, in the 12^th edition of Wacky Wednesday (2025), we break down the unique song, “Cold Ethyl” performed by Alice Cooper. Wacky Wednesday vibes commence!

“One thing I miss / Is Cold Ethyl and her skeleton kiss.” Pardon me, Alice Cooper (1948 – )? “We met last night / Making love by the refrigerator light.” Are you seeing a pattern here? Cold, refrigerator, and Ethyl, which is not only a variation on Ethel but also an abbreviation for the ethylene… Ethyl is dead… Her body is cold… This man enjoys the company of Cold Ethyl, sexually (necrophilia) and also struggles with alcohol, which contains ethanol.  “Cold Ethyl”, the seventh track from Cooper’s 1975 album, Welcome to My Nightmare is ‘something else’ but, also, incredibly clever. Cooper and Bob Ezrin (1949 – ) penned “Cold Ethyl.” Ezrin also produced it.

“Ethyl, Ethyl, let me squeeze you in my arms

Ethyl, Ethyl, come and freeze me with your charms.”

Yep, Ethyl is cold… Cooper emphasizes this, describing her as “Frigid as an Eskimo Pie” and confirming that she’s dead in the second verse.  Welcome to My Nightmare, indeed! There are plenty of other highlights from this odd joint.  Expectedly, in the third verse, we learn, “Ethyl don’t have much to say.” Wonder why?! In the fourth and final verse, Alice asserts, “If I live till ninety-seven / You’ll still be waiting in refrigerator heaven.” Yikes!  “Cold Ethyl” is one-of-a-kind.  That is an understatement! The musical backdrop cooks with its mean-sounding, distorted guitars, a prominent bass line, and a kick-ass drum groove.  As for Alice Cooper, his vocal performance is filled with attitude – the spirit of hard rock alive and well.  Honestly, only Cooper could record such a song as this one .

Alice Cooper // Welcome to My Nightmare // Atlantic Recording Corporation // 1975

Alice Cooper, Cold Ethyl: Wacky Wednesday No. 12 (2025) [: Brent Faulkner / The Musical Hype; Atlantic Recording Corporation; Rich The Barber Font from Font Space; Wendel Natan from Pexels; AcatXlo, OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay]