Suicide. It’s one of those words that carries so much depression, devastation, and pain. It’s one of the loneliest, bothersome, and saddest ways to die. The original playlist, Songs Centered Around or Referencing Suicide, Vol. 1 (published in 2018) came about following the insensitive video recorded in Aokigahara and the fallout from the insensitive, inappropriate video by YouTuber Logan Paul. It’s quite sad that some people go to a place like Aokigahara to ‘end it all.’ Recapping the original list, it featured 13 songs that reference suicide including songs by Billie Holiday (“Gloomy Sunday”), Ozzy Osbourne (“Suicide Solution”), Pearl Jam (“Jeremy”), Logic (“1-800-273-8255”) and Declan McKenna (“Paracetamol”) among others.
Songs Centered Around or Referencing Suicide, Vol. 1 just scratched the surface of songs centered around or referencing suicide in some regards. The same can be said of the 11 additional songs that grace SONGS CENTERED AROUND OR REFERENCING SUICIDE, VOL. 2. Vol. 2 features music courtesy of Badflower (“Ghost”), Billie Eilish (“Listen Before I Go”), Clairo (“Alewife”), Lost in the Trees (“Icy River”), and the late XXXTentacion (“Jocelyn Flores”) among others. Please keep in mind that suicide is NO laughing matter whatsoever. Don’t hesitate to call 1-800-273-8255; every single life is precious. Without further ado, Songs Centered Around or Referencing Suicide, Vol. 2.
1. Clairo, “Alewife”
Immunity • Fader • 2019
Beyond mentioning Alewife, the big takeaway from the aforementioned lyrical excerpt, as well as the song itself are the numerous references made to suicide. Clairo is thankful to a friend who ‘saved her.’ “But you know you saved me from doin’ / Something to myself that night,” she sings on the first verse. On the second, she sings, “Swear I could’ve done it / If you weren’t there when I hit the floor.”
2. Badflower, “Ghost”
OK, I’M SICK • Big Machine • 2019
Frontman Josh Katz continues to discuss suicide on the second verse, which is half the length of the first. On the chorus, he’s dramatic about how suicide “won’t end the pain.” Despite seeming to avoid completion for the majority of the song, at the end, he’s successful, admitting:
“I tried it once again and I think I went too far I cut a little deeper and the pressure stopped my heart I couldn’t tell my mother that I love her, I’m a bad son This life is overwhelming and I'm ready for the next one...”
In addition to distinct, emotional lyrics and subject matter, the sound of the record is awesome, featuring a dark, angst-laden backdrop, led by the guitars.
3. Billie Eilish, “Listen Before I Go”
When We Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? • Darkroom / Interscope • 2019
“Listen Before I Go,” the 12th track from When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?, is lethargic-paced and heavy to the nth degree. How is it heavy exactly? Well, it references suicide… ouch. “Sorry can’t save me now,” Eilish sings on the chorus, later adding, “Sorry there’s no way out / But down.” What is fueling the suicidal thoughts that cross the protagonist’s mind? Depression, it seems. What isn’t sad is the top-notch quality of this dark standout from an equally brilliant debut album. “Listen Before I Go” previously appeared on 11 Awesome Songs that Tickled My Fancy in March 2019 as well as 11 Songs Where the ‘Before’ is Key.
4. The 1975, “I Always Wanna Die (Sometimes)”
A Brief Inquiry into Online Relationships • Polydor / Interscope • 2018
“Am I me though geography? / A face collapsed through entropy / I can hardly speak / And when I try, it’s nothing but a squeak…” Despite having a depressing sensibility (understatement), “I Always Wanna Die (Sometimes)” actually has more tempo and more rock cues compared to the songs that precede it. Crossing over the five-minute mark, the band give us a strong, driving groove, lush strings, and some turned-up guitars. Furthermore, Matt Healey encourages choosing life over suicide in numerous instances, including the simplistic, yet telling lyric, “If you can’t survive, just try.” Moving on to the chorus, it’s simple, yet melodically captivating.
“And I always wanna die, sometimes I always wanna die, sometimes I always wanna die.”
“I Always Wanna Die (Sometimes)” previously appeared on the playlist, 15 Songs That Center Around Sadness & Depression.
5. Father John Misty, “Please Don’t Die”
God’s Favorite Customer • Sub Pop • 2018
Tillman seem to realize how he’s affecting his wife, and he actually sings from her perspective on the thrilling chorus. This is where one can truly see the potential fear that Tillman’s wife had regarding him potentially committing suicide because of his mental health issues.
“Oh, and honey, I’m worried ‘bout you You’re too much to lose You’re all that I have And honey, I’m worried ‘bout you Put yourself in my shoes You’re all that I have so please don’t die Wherever you are tonight.”
“Please Don’t Die” previously appeared on the playlist, 15 Songs That Center Around Sadness & Depression.
6. XXXTentacion, “Jocelyn Flores”
17 • Bad Vibes Forever / EMPIRE • 2017
On the sole verse, beginning with the aforementioned lyrics, XXXTentacion keeps it real regarding his own suicidal thoughts, and how Flores’ suicide bothered him.
“Picture this, in bed, get a phone call Girl that you fucked with killed herself That was this summer when nobody helped And ever since then, man, I hate myself Wanna fuckin’ end it, pessimistic All wanna see me with no pot to piss in But niggas been excited ‘bout the grave I’m diggin’.”
Besides the Flores’ suicide, XXX’s own depression, and his many troubles, the rapper also references his uncle’s suicide (“Memories surface through the grapevine / ‘Bout my uncle playin’ with a slip knot…”). Worth noting, XXXTentacion also references suicide on his 2018 song, “SAD!” from ?:
“Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh You decide if you're ever gonna let me know (yeah) Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh I'm sad, I know, yeah, I'm sad, I know, yeah.”
7. Arcade Fire, “Creature Comfort”
Everything Now • Sony • 2017
The themes of “Creature Comfort prove darker than its exuberant sound, encompassing suicide and how screwed up society is. On the first verse, Win Butler speaks about self-hatred – low self-esteem – a prevalent societal issue.
“Some boys hate themselves Spend their lives resenting their fathers Some girls hate their bodies Stand in the mirror and wait for the feedback.”
Valid observations. He goes on, from the perspective of the potential victims, sending one final prayer: “God, make me famous / If you can’t just make it painless.” Suicide arrives next, but perhaps more surprising is how Butler references the band’s potential role in preventing it:
“Assisted suicide… She told me she came so close Filled up the bathtub and put on our first record.”
Later, assisted by Chassagne once more, Butler continues to sing about girls and boys with low self-esteem who intentionally harm themselves. Eventually, he begins to shift gears a bit, stating:
“Creature comfort makes it painless Bury me penniless and nameless Born in a diamond mine It’s all around you but you can’t see it Born in a diamond mine It’s all around you but you can’t touch it.”
Like so many musicians in a time of political and social turmoil, Arcade Fire add fuel to the fire. “Creature Comfort” is among the crème de la crème of Everything Now, not to mention a noteworthy record in general.
8. Machine Gun Kelly, “Merry Go Round”
General Admission • Bad Boy / Interscope • 2015
“Now the syringe is all that keeps her alive anymore No mattress, so her and her child dyin’ on the floor As a letter’s at the door reading: ‘I’ll be home tomorrow, love, Bobby.’”
Machine Gun Kelly imparts the tale of a couple who take drugs. ‘Bobby’ leaves for the army, while his girlfriend, who becomes addicted, is “messin’ with everybody,” and ends up pregnant. She overdoses before Bobby returns from the army, and upon his return, he finds her dead, sees she was pregnant, and commits suicide.
“He walks into the house, it’s a fuckin’ disaster Every step he takes his shoe crushes a capsule Holds his breath, he knows what he smells isn’t natural Looks down, it’s the body of the queen of his castle ‘Baby please, baby please!!! Wake up!!!’” He screams on his knees and he sees her hands around her stomach Inside was a child And realizes it was his… *gunshot*”
There’s nothing ‘merry’ whatsoever about this particular “Merry Go Round.” “Merry Go Round” previously appeared on the playlist, 11 Totally Merry, Mary, Marry Songs.
9. Jake Miller, “Steven”
The Road Less Traveled (EP) • eOne • 2013
Miller is thoughtful throughout “Steven,” the tale of a kid experiencing a lot of traumatic events in his life. The narrative encompasses the death of his father, use of drugs, and bullying. Miller drops one lengthy verse, which masterfully goes through all of the things adding up making Steven suicidal. Ultimately, it is the ending that’s really tough, yet provides food for thought:
“Yeah, I hope that you all feel guilty Cuz I’m broken now and you can’t heal me And now you’re all an accomplice in murder Each and every one of you have chipped in to kill me So, the reason that I’m writing you this evening Is to say goodbye and to tell you that I’m leaving But don’t hold your breath cuz I ain’t never coming back Sincerely yours, Steven.”
10. Serj Tankian, “Harakiri”
Harakiri • Serj Tankian / Woah Dad! • 2012
Tankian actually doesn’t get specific about the act of hara-kiri itself on “Harakiri.” He speaks figuratively and metaphorically about a number of the wrongs and questionable beliefs of the human race, all of which he essentially likens to self-destruction – suicide if you will. He specifically cites the 2010-11 mass animal deaths of drum fish and blackbirds in Arkansas, making a dual statement about how poorly humans treat mother nature, as well as how poor human nature is in general. Expectedly, Tankian also criticizes overzealous religious beliefs.
“The drum fish They bleached themselves in Harakiri The blackbirds They fell in thousands from the sky Their red wings Streaming down from the higher seas Deflected by the ground They crowned the sun.”
“Harakiri” previously appeared on the playlist, 11 Songs About Painful, Torturous, or Troubling Ways to Die.
11. Lost in the Trees, “Icy River”
A Church that Fits Our Needs • Anti • 2012
Of A Church That Fits Our Needs, Bob Boilen of NPR writes:
[A Church That Fits Our Needs] celebrates the life of songwriter Ari Picker's mother. And, though it tells an intensely sad tale of a life that included the death at birth of her twin daughters, depression, cancer and her suicide shortly after she left her son's wedding, Ari Picker still finds a way to embrace her sad yet creative life.
“Icy River” is by far the most ‘artsy’ cut on Songs Centered Around or Referencing Suicide, Vol. 2. The record begins with sound effects (birds and nature). Added is mysterious-sounding piano, along with quasi-operatic female vocals. Even more impressive is the orchestration with strings, in addition to the use of acoustic guitar. Of course, Picker sounds beautiful, delivering touching songwriting from the jump:
“Icy river Put your arms around my mother I burned her body in the furnace Till all that’s left was her glory … She led me to the woods where our church was started…”
He details committing his mother’s body to the river in dramatic and poetic fashion. It is chilling and sad, yet absolutely beautiful.
“Songs Centered Around or Referencing Suicide, Vol. 2” [Photo Credits: Anti, Bad Boy, Bad Vibes Forever, Big Machine, Darkroom, EMPIRE, Entertainment One, eOne, Fader, Interscope, Pexels, Pixabay, Polydor, Serj Tankian, Sony, Sub Pop, Woah Dad!]
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